Or is it a shot back at Misandry?!? Is turn-a-bout fair play?

Cats are vain and aloof which makes them a bad candidate for petting. They only approach you when they want something, like food.

Dogs are loyal and protective, but a little rambunctious; they keep the neighbors up if they bark and they dig holes in the yard if they're puppies.

Fish and reptiles are boring.

Birds can be loud and messy.

Rabbits smell bad.

If you want a good pet, perhaps you should mull over getting yourself a Girlfriend. Why do Girlfriends make good pets? Well, there are a couple factors you should take into consideration when you've found a Cute Girl and think you might like to take her home...

• They're already potty trained (hopefully). All you have to do upon taking your new Girlfriend home is point her in the general direction of the toilet. Some Girlfriends will leave the toilet seat down or, even worse, use to much toilet paper and clog the toilet, but with a correct reward system and gentle training, any Girlfriend can be broken of this habit.

• They're capable of bathing themselves. Most Girlfriends need to be bathed every day, which will pose no problem to you as most are already equipped with Decent Hygiene. If your Girlfriend is especially smelly or doesn't like to bathe every day, they are easily coaxed into the shower - they don't generally have the same hate for water as actual cats. To get an extra stinky Girlfriend in the shower, a good method is for you to hang a sting of fake diamonds in the shower and watch her eyes sparkle with lust. You can join her in the shower at this point as she will be so enamored she'll want you to.

• They can feed themselves. Not only that, but most Girlfriends are easily trained to cook for you as well. There are a few different methods in teaching a Girlfriend how to cook for you. One that works for most is by repeatedly saying that she doesn't do enough for your family. Another method, although not as effective, is to lead by example - show her that even though she is capable of feeding herself, you don't mind feeding her.

• They're very good at fetch when properly cared for. When you give your Girlfriend the few things she needs - Jewelry, Cosmetics, and Shopping Time - she can more easily be trained to fetch things for you. If you're watching the game and would like a beer, your Girlfriend can get it for you.

• They can be easily won over. If you need a date for a boxing match or a kick boxing flick or some other function that she seems dissuaded by, you can easily change her mind by flashing some cash. All Girlfriends come equipped with a Consumer Complex and all Consumer Complexs are very easily persuaded.

• If you're going out of town for a while, there's no need to hire a pet-sitter. Girlfriends can be easily amused with the E channel and and a few raunchy Tabloids, and as long as they have enough Chocolate and Diet Pepsi to last them the duration of your absence, they'll be fine.

• You will have to take them for walks. Most Girlfriends don't get exercise on their own, and need to be gently coaxed into thinking it's entertainment.

• They make very cunning friends. When you get to know your Girlfriend well enough, you'll find that she's also able to help you manipulate your best friends. She'll pry you for all your deepest secrets to be kept for use later, but if they're trained to be devoted solely to you, you may find that your Girlfriend can be more enjoyable than your other friends. Pending that there's no soap operas on, they can be good chatters and great companions. Being female, Girlfriends are naturally good at White Lies and will always tell you you're The Greatest - after a long time with a Girlfriend she can be trained to do Exactly What You Want Her to Do.

Still not sure you're ready for a Girlfriend? Take into consideration getting a Girl Toy. They require less work and quite a bit less dedication and you don't have to be limited to just one. For some boys a Girl Toy is much more fun to have around than a Girlfriend, however Girl Toys are not as easily trained and not so cunning a friend as a Girlfriend can be.....

Come get me you little Girly Girls.... don't hate me because I'm beautiful!