Hi Percy, thanks for the diagnosis - but please stick to the day job

What do you think my day job is?

Quote from Percy

What do you think my day job is?

'Evening. I wouldn't like to make a committed guess, but that term 'cognitive dissonance' interested me. I've heard enough amateur psychology to last me a 1000 lifetimes, but that one's a new one. So I thought you might be a pro for a minute, but a pro wouldn't normally jump in with an 'either/or' so quickly. But then there's the reference to some Dr Marx bod, so I reckon you're medical.

Quote from Percy

What do you think my day job is?

Hey ho, I wrote a well reasoned guess but it hasn't come up, and I can't be arshed to write it again. Basically I reckon you may be medical.

Quote from Shapeshifter

Hey ho, I wrote a well reasoned guess but it hasn't come up, and I can't be arshed to write it again. Basically I reckon you may be medical.

Admin used to have an automated function to alert them to posts needing validating, at the present time this is done manually through awareness of new members still in the moderation period.

So, bear with us whilst you undertake this transition into unmoderated membership (fluctuates between 10 - 20 posts).

Quote from Celtic Druid

Admin used to have an automated function to alert them to posts needing validating, at the present time this is done manually through awareness of new members still in the moderation period.

So, bear with us whilst you undertake this transition into unmoderated membership (fluctuates between 10 - 20 posts).

On a slightly unrelated note I like it how we admins tell this to most new users yet are never 100% shure what the exact amount of posts is. Somehow funny...

Quote from Shapeshifter

Hey ho, I wrote a well reasoned guess but it hasn't come up, and I can't be arshed to write it again. Basically I reckon you may be medical.

Cognitive dissonance isn't a diagnosis, it's a symptom ...but you probably won't find those exact words anywhere in the DSM-IV.

Quote from Celtic Druid

Admin used to have an automated function to alert them to posts needing validating, at the present time this is done manually through awareness of new members still in the moderation period.

So, bear with us whilst you undertake this transition into unmoderated membership (fluctuates between 10 - 20 posts).

Ok, ta.

Quote from Incognito

Cognitive dissonance isn't a diagnosis, it's a symptom ...but you probably won't find those exact words anywhere in the DSM-IV.

Aye, well that's exactly it isn't it. It appears the definition can be as subjective as the phenomenon itself. By one interpretation the name of this site is based on cognitive dissonance... in a way...!

Being new to the term, my initial perception is based on the Wiki definition:

"Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously."

With the exception of the fear/shame/suppression/etc that many people try to impart in me (because of their own cognitive dissonance, imho), I have absolutely no discomfort whatsoever in the duality of my reality - I'm not particularly interested in polarised or fear-based convention or control. I only joined this site cos I read some blog entries where people were really distressed cos they couldn't comprehend the mentality of what they were faced with on a day-to-day basis. It remains to be seen whether I have anything constructive to add.

Quote from Celtic Druid

Admin used to have an automated function to alert them to posts needing validating, at the present time this is done manually through awareness of new members still in the moderation period.

So, bear with us whilst you undertake this transition into unmoderated membership (fluctuates between 10 - 20 posts).

If Sir would check into the admincp now & then, Sir would see that moderated posts (awaiting authorization) are listed on the front page

Quote from Marx

If Sir would check into the admincp now & then, Sir would see that moderated posts (awaiting authorization) are listed on the front page

I guess that could work also.

That means during intercourse I try NOT to think about sex. Math, asexual thinks or sports are on my mind as I try not to come to early. If I have time I´d release pressure before so I have more stanima.

Hehe...many women would freak, if they knew this kind of truth. They want so much to be the center of things that they cannot stand the thought that you are not constantly thinking about them during sex (and in general).

"release the pressure before"...that is a killer...literally. Try telling them that it is done to make THEIR experience nicer...No, the only way to keep them happy is to make sure they never find out (I do realize your wife may be different).

I saw this and had to comment, I am in the opposite boat. My boyfriend of three years withholds from me. I beg and plead. He blames it on his meds, but I come back with what about mutual mastrabation, or other things to express ourselves. His response is take care of me and if you can get it to work I'll give you some. I am a highly sexual person and four years ago got out of a disasterous 12 year marriage where my husband did the same to me for the last five years of our marriage. I never cheated even though I could have. One thing I made clear to my boyfriend when we met was I will not live that way again. The first year was great then it all stopped. I've tried counseling, talking but it all ends up in the blame game with him blaming me for not being understanding. I understand medical issues and viagra not working but don't understand no kissing, touching or mutual release. DOn't tell me to end it other than that he is great. I'm no spring chicken anymore I'm 48 he's 51 but come on, I'm not dead yet.