Quote from TERA

Kim,

That's a good point. How many of us (especially women, but men too!) have the idea that a soul mate must exist? How many of us search for this perfection but will never find it? I used to think that soul mates existed for everyone...it was just a matter of finding that person. But now I wonder if the success of a relationship depends more on tolerating, accepting, and enjoying differences rather than deciding that one must meet "every expectation" that we idealize. Oh but it's such a romantic idea...the soul mate idea. And maybe it exists, though not in the form that we're led to believe. What do you think?

Honestly, I don't think most men are out looking for their soulmates or the perfect woman. I think the majority of men are perfectly happy if they just find a decent woman they are attracted to and she doesn't metamorph into someone completely different after marriage.

I think it's mostly women who are looking for their soulmate, their knight in shining armor, their perfect man. Needless to say they are predictably disappointed when they realize their chosen mate is just as flawed and human as they are.

Quote from julie

Are you too good for Tera?

Are your playful words and brain intelligence only suited to others like yourself?

Could that be a big mistake?

I wonder because it seems to me that the right side and the left side already know all there is to know.

It is the middle ground, the not so intelligent, the ones who actually get out there and protest that haven't got a clue what all the intelligent, playful word people like yourself have known for decades and yet can't seem to change a damn thing.

But that is OK. Use women and sit back and watch. Every group who has ever wanted power has used women.

Ah, but be careful. Because women are unpredictable and might not be so dumb after all.

Bravo! Thanks Julie. Good post. I sincerely appreciate your honesty and clarification.

I would consider many of your statements fallacies... but I won't argue the point. It's seems clear.

To be clear, if Tera were a man, if you were a man, I would still question the intent based on the display. I mean no disrespect to your womanhood.

Some of the most admired and intelligent people I know are women.

Quote from Kim

Honestly, I don't think most men are out looking for their soulmates or the perfect woman. I think the majority of men are perfectly happy if they just find a decent woman they are attracted to and she doesn't metamorph into someone completely different after marriage.

I think it's mostly women who are looking for their soulmate, their knight in shining armor, their perfect man. Needless to say they are predictably disappointed when they realize their chosen mate is just as flawed and human as they are.

Nope. Men are looking for soul mates too.

Kim, the old days are over. Men and women are not what people think they are. Men don't have to work far away and be the provider. They are in the home every night. They talk on the phone to their wives. They e-mail them in the middle of the day. We are best friends now.

We are not into sex for procreation any more. We are selfish, I guess. We can be.

Quote from RedRooster

Bravo! Thanks Julie. Good post. I sincerely appreciate your honesty and clarification.

I would consider many of your statements fallacies... but I won't argue the point. It's seems clear.

To be clear, if Tera were a man, if you were a man, I would still question the intent based on the display. I mean no disrespect to your womanhood.

Some of the most admired and intelligent people I know are women.

I don't understand what it is you are trying to tell me. If you want we can talk privately to sort it out?

Quote from RedRooster

Bravo! Thanks Julie. Good post. I sincerely appreciate your honesty and clarification.

I would consider many of your statements fallacies... but I won't argue the point. It's seems clear.

To be clear, if Tera were a man, if you were a man, I would still question the intent based on the display. I mean no disrespect to your womanhood.

Some of the most admired and intelligent people I know are women.

I take my hat off to you. (no, I don't have a hat, just a saying)

You are attractive. You don't put yourself on high.

But please don't expect much from me. I have to be intelligent in another area of life for this. I don't find it so wonderful. I like being the nothing sometimes.

Kim, the old days are over. Men and women are not what people think they are. Men don't have to work far away and be the provider. They are in the home every night. They talk on the phone to their wives. They e-mail them in the middle of the day. We are best friends now.

I'm not sure what exactly it is your saying Julie, but if it's marital dynamics you're discussing, I do have at least a little personal knowledge on the matter, having successfully navigated my own marriage for over 15 years, not to mention the invaluable advice from many women who have been married for far, far longer than I. You'll have to forgive me if I give that knowledge a little more credence than current trends and modern "wisdom".

We are not into sex for procreation any more. We are selfish, I guess. We can be.

Was it ever implied that sex was solely for procreation?

Quote from Kim

I'm not sure what exactly it is your saying Julie, but if it's marital dynamics you're discussing, I do have at least a little personal knowledge on the matter, having successfully navigated my own marriage for over 15 years, not to mention the invaluable advice from many women who have been married for far, far longer than I. You'll have to forgive me if I give that knowledge a little more credence than current trends and modern "wisdom".

I understand this Kim. But I have many questions.

1. Where is your husband in this?

We have many people like yourself trying to help marriages. But they are doing it as a couple.

Look, I don't want to challenge you. Not really. But some of the things coming out of your mouth are questionable. They hit a major sore spot with older women who have been married even 50 years. Like "women should give men sex when they want".

I am not kidding you when I say women will want to hang you for this. Not even gay men will go along with this and they are men.

I cannot just take the word of a 35 or so woman who is at the point of life where she is questioning her life. You are at a crucial age. Many women at your age are leaving their marriages. It is a seven year stage. (give or take a year or two)

2. Does your husband read the comments you get?

You say you have this wonderful marriage. And I don't doubt it. But for you to tell women that they should be caring for their husbands needs and wants may just be a bit rich if your husband is not even aware you are on this site and receiving the attention you get.

How can women follow you if their husbands get upset if they are on men's sites getting told they are wonderful from strange men. What will you say to them?

This is not about God's work Kim.

You are a woman. And so am I. I do not want you to be perfect because you can't be.

You can't tell me that feminism has not affected you. You can't tell me that it is not confusing you. I won't believe you.

You are not infallible Kim. No matter how much you pray. This is Satan's day. You need friends. You need to be the real Kim.

Quote from Kim

Honestly, I don't think most men are out looking for their soulmates or the perfect woman. I think the majority of men are perfectly happy if they just find a decent woman they are attracted to and she doesn't metamorph into someone completely different after marriage.

There is no ideal woman, but if you are lucky as man you find somebody who is just average ... There might be women, who are better for me than my wife - and there might be men, who are better for my wife than me, but you cannot have just all and everything, a long-lasting marriage depends on tolerance and persistence. At the beginning it is more difficult than being alone, but if seen for long-term, marriage makes sense, everything is much easier together than alone, especially in case of problems, like being ill or jobless.

Quote from julie

I understand this Kim. But I have many questions.

1. Where is your husband in this?

We have many people like yourself trying to help marriages. But they are doing it as a couple.

Look, I don't want to challenge you. Not really. But some of the things coming out of your mouth are questionable. They hit a major sore spot with older women who have been married even 50 years. Like "women should give men sex when they want".

I am not kidding you when I say women will want to hang you for this. Not even gay men will go along with this and they are men.

I cannot just take the word of a 35 or so woman who is at the point of life where she is questioning her life. You are at a crucial age. Many women at your age are leaving their marriages. It is a seven year stage. (give or take a year or two)

2. Does your husband read the comments you get?

You say you have this wonderful marriage. And I don't doubt it. But for you to tell women that they should be caring for their husbands needs and wants may just be a bit rich if your husband is not even aware you are on this site and receiving the attention you get.

How can women follow you if their husbands get upset if they are on men's sites getting told they are wonderful from strange men. What will you say to them?

This is not about God's work Kim.

You are a woman. And so am I. I do not want you to be perfect because you can't be.

You can't tell me that feminism has not affected you. You can't tell me that it is not confusing you. I won't believe you.

You are not infallible Kim. No matter how much you pray. This is Satan's day. You need friends. You need to be the real Kim.

No offense, Julie, but your making an awful lot of judgements and (incorrect) assumptions.

If you bothered actually reading what I said concerning sex in marriage, it was that both husband and wife should be sexually accessible to their spouse and that sex should not be held hostage within a marriage.

I've only recieved positive comments from women about what I wrote....but I'll let you know should the lynch mob come to call.

I'm not questioning my life, I have greater clarity now than at any other time. Perhaps you questioned yours at 34, your experiences, however are not the template for what the rest of us will experience in our own lives. I've been married for over 15 years....my math would suggest I've long passed that 7 year thing.

My husband's sitting on the couch next to me as we speak. He loves my blog. He recommends it to everyone he knows. My husband happens to think I'm wonderful and (biasedly) expects that everyone else would feel the same.

I don't come on these boards and flirt or act inappropriately. I challenge you to find a single instance where I behaved in a manner that would merit my husband's disapproval. He reads most things I write. He happens to be my biggest fan and wants me to write a book (I did say he was a bit biased ).

I'm not remotely confused by feminism. I see it for what it is. The only thing that confuses me is how others can be so easily decieved by it.

As for "God's work", I never said it was. It's about what's right....it only falls to reason that that might correspond with the work of God.

Quote from TERA

I don't understand what it is you are trying to tell me. If you want we can talk privately to sort it out?

I am trying to tell you that once you can figure out how to separate yourself from your "gender" and the dogma that many professors have instilled in your mind, you will find a beautiful truth. A more objective view of reality.

This is what makes a great woman or a great man.

You need friends. You need to be the real Kim.

Oops, I missed this part.

I happen to be blessed with quite a few very good friends, but thank you for your concern.

As for the "real Kim"....this is the real Kim. Are you going to honestly suggest that you have a greater insight into the real me?

I find it amusing and a touch egocentric when women assume that any woman who thinks, feels or believes differently than they do must either be faking, lying or (my favorite) a man.

[deleted by admin]

Enough of these attacks on Kim. You've made your point.

like what is ones ideal car !!!

depends under what contract it is purchased

the current contract for the groom for marriage is peonage and only a fool would sign it for the bride it is a
sunset clause

(not her fault) she will settle for the matrimonial assets the kids maintenance and alimony and absolutely no visitation rights for butthead

my recommendation for young men is to visit a cat house rather than sign themselves for a trip through the
Family Law Court where his feminist ex will nail his gonads to a tree

his time would be more gainfully passed in holidaying at Acapulco with a pina colada and a local wench by his side

Keep thin, long hair, unlimited sex, shut up.