Thick Girls and Biases Reporting. A Warcraft example.

**Percy** · #1 20th-December-2007

Here is an example of a masterful warrior marshalling his arguements and demolishing the enemy. Worthy of a detailed read and even a Warcraft exercise.

My good friend Amfortas sent it over.

Quote:

Percy, you old fart. You are always on about warcraft so cop a squizz at Marc's latest. I have added my bit. A bit terse but my male wound is playing up.

So, folks, another Master recommends it. Parse and precis!
(I have added some highlights and emphases)

Quote:

http://mensnewsdaily.com/2007/12/19/why-teen-girls-seek-abuse-marc-h-rudov/#comment-56476

Marc H. Rudov
Why Teen Girls Seek Abuse
December 19, 2007 at 2:21 pm · Filed under Vox Populi
The Acorn
Periodically, I see an article about teen girls “surviving” after terminating their relationships with abusive boyfriends. A good example is one that appeared on 12.12.07 in the San Jose Mercury News. Not one word about why the girl entered the bad relationship, why she found her boyfriend’s abusive behavior attractive, and why she went back to him after breaking it off. No, the only message is: boys are controlling villains; girls are passive victims. (P) And, that’s why teen girls learn nothing from such articles -- namely, why they seek abuse in the first place.

Laying the blame for women’s ills at the doorstep of men is a familiar, counterproductive tool of feminism. Quite simply, a girl who is attracted to a controlling boyfriend is looking for something: control. She wants to be controlled. She is weak and insecure. The kind of boy attracted to her passivity and diffidence is also weak; that’s why he wants to control her. They are matching puzzle pieces. The need to control another person, or to be controlled by another person, is born from insecurity -- the acorn that produces the oak of abuse.

Three strong factors contribute to a girl’s attitude about the role of men in her life: societal messages about males, her father’s power in the family, and her definition of self-worth. Interestingly, a girl who concludes, based on these three factors, that men are weak servants, will either repeat her mother’s domineering pattern of pairing up with a weak man or hunger for a controlling one -- polar-opposite reactions, neither healthy, that we see all the time.

Empowerment
Society blasts girls with messages of misandry. One from a Sony TV commercial shows the father as a horse’s ass. Another from the Washington Post, in a comic strip, depicts the father as a buffoon. How about Littlewood’s, a British retailer, running a TV commercial that promises physical harm to any man who buys a woman the wrong Christmas gift? These messages of hatred affect how girls, in childhood and adolescence, perceive men and boys. If no forces exist at home or in school to counter such misandry, girls will accept it as reality. (P) And, they do. They really do.

In a girl’s family, if her father is weak or noncustodial, or both, she will see her mother in total, albeit dysfunctional, control -- giving her a distorted view of female power. It is common for that mother to badmouth the weak father -- whether he is custodial or not. But, just because a girl views her father with contempt as a diminshed figure does not negate her need or desire for a strong man. It is natural for a girl to need a strong father. If her father is weak or not present, she will find his substitute somewhere. Alas, she doesn’t understand the real definition of strong. How could she? To her, controlling is strong.

In “If Women Were Happy,” I wrote that many girls are raised to believe that happiness is a goal, derived from externalities like clothing, jewelry, plastic surgery, money, and male attention. Parents who impart such disempowering (P) messages to their daughters are ruining them. Happiness is not a goal; it’s a byproduct of personal achievement. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a woman exclaim: “I need you to buy me dinner, to hold doors for me, to treat me like a lady -- because it makes me feel special and feminine.”

How pathetic. (P). If she doesn’t already feel special and feminine, there’s nothing I can do for her. A woman who has never treated a man to a night on the town, at her expense, at her insistence, doesn’t understand the meaning of giving, (P) of empowerment. Insecure women, who define their femininity by how much they receive, are the ones most attracted to domineering men.

The NoNonsense Bottom Line
A girl is totally responsible for the boys she attracts and the boys with whom she becomes involved. We have seen that exposing a girl to society’s negative messages about men, a weak father, and the lie of self-actualization through male attention is akin to implanting in her the acorn of insecurity, which easily can grow into the oak of abuse. If a girl pairs up with a controlling boy, it’s because she wants to be controlled. It’s that simple.

On the other hand, teaching a girl to be a strong, independent, empowered, financially reciprocating admirer of boys and men will help her attract, and be attracted to, boys and men who are likewise strong, independent, empowered, financially reciprocating admirers of girls and women. Nobody can be strong and a victim simultaneously.

The typical “victimhood” articles never discuss the root cause of why teen girls seek abuse in the first place. These articles are doing girls a giant disservice by not teaching them to take personal responsibility for their choices. (P)Teen girls seek -- and find -- abuse because they’re weak and insecure, not because boys are bad. So, to give speeches and write articles about bad male behavior is disingenuous and unhelpful. It’s time for girls, parents, and the media to get it right.

About the Author

Marc H. Rudov is an internationally recognized radio/TV personality and author of 70+ articles and the books Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables™ (ISBN 9780974501727), and The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth™ (ISBN 0974501719). Mr. Rudov is a regular guest on Fox News Channel’s Your World with Neil Cavuto.

Rudov’s books, articles, blog, and podcasts are available at TheNoNonsenseMan.com.

Copyright © 2007 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.

6 Comments »

1. college activist said,
..Whether the politically correct like what you have to say or not..
you're saying it!!! because it needs to be said.
As our society castrates more and more males…girls are reacting with more and more desperate behavoir..
binge drinking, and drugs at parties
shorter, and shorter skirts with no panties desperatelly seeking someone to look at them.
stripper poles in our workout gyms!!
December 19, 2007 at 4:15 pm
2. JamesH said,
Laying the blame for women’s ills at the doorstep of men is a familiar, counterproductive tool of feminism.
Soo True.
I would also add that by taking path of looking for a controller means never having to take responsibility for the consequences of one's own behaviour and actions.
I remember listening to a radio program where girls talked about sex and they said things like
"I gave him what he wanted."
"I let him have what he wanted."
So in reality they never took responsibility for their own behaviour.
Behind this is how a person responsed physiologically to certain situations. Apparently fear can trigger some strong physiological responses, which are below the level of the consciousness.
December 19, 2007 at 4:17 pm
3. jackal1994 said,
I remember reading in a Warren Farrel book (or maybe Camille Paglia) a line that said:
"If women stopped rewarding 'bad boys' with easy access to sex (often much greater access than respectful hardworking men) then there would be no more bad boys."
December 19, 2007 at 7:06 pm
4. Marc H. Rudov said,
Jackal1994,
This article has nothing to do with sex — it is about abuse. Sexual intercourse is not abuse.
There's a big difference between a "bad boy" and an abusive boy. Girls like bad boys because they are fun and exciting. There always will be bad boys, and thank G-d for that.
Prudes are consistently uncomfortable with female sexuality. That's too bad.
December 19, 2007 at 8:01 pm
5. lieweary said,
But Marc! We can't allow feminism to stop turning women into losers. How will the abuse industry put food on the table? We'll have counselors, prosecutors, talk show hosts, etc. standing on every corner holding tin cups!
December 19, 2007 at 8:11 pm
6. amfortas said,
"There's a big difference between a "bad boy" and an abusive boy. Girls like bad boys because they are fun and exciting. There always will be bad boys, and thank G-d for that."

Bugger me. After such a clear, concise, plain speaking and well structured arguement (well done, Sir), you have to follow up with a confusing mixed message! As Dr Pill says "What were you THINKING?!"
December 19, 2007 at 8:16 pm

**julie** · #2 20th-December-2007

Percy,

You should not put this man on a pedastal. He lies also. Women don't look for control. It finds them. You just don't know.

I am angry that you don't know.

Men are the hunters. When they like what they see they think of nothing else. They hunt what they see.

They stalk and they wait for the right opportunity to win a females heart. Why do you not know this?

**julie** · #3 20th-December-2007

These people lie to you. All of them.

How can you make things up from a males perspective only? That is no more the truth than from a female perspective.

Can't anyone make truth from both sides?

**julie** · #4 20th-December-2007

Sorry Percy, I am sick of this.

This site is against women hating men and so it hates women. But of course not all women because some women are what some men want.

But then the same force it hates ... that hates them does not hate all men.

I cannot go on with this. Both sides lie. Both sides are screwed up.

I want to be one of the nice females who don't get involved.

This is a war between 2 extremes and to tell you the truth I am not damaged enough to get involved in either side.

Billy · #5 20th-December-2007

Julie I'm lost, could you wrap me up and mail me home?

Some women seek to control also. I think some women are drawn to abusive males thinking they are more masculine.
Nice guys often bore them and so arguing gives them a bit of excitement. I've noticed many women seem to like to strike up arguments either to try and control you or test you.

**Percy** · #6 20th-December-2007

Jools, I haven't a clue what you are on about.

Take Rudov's arguements and parse them. Put your interpretations and counter arguements down and let us examine them. Who knows, you might have some good points to make,

As it is you have just let fly without saying anything I can comprehend.

Quote:

This site is against women hating men and so it hates women. But of course not all women because some women are what some men want.

But then the same force it hates ... that hates them does not hate all men.

I cannot go on with this. Both sides lie. Both sides are screwed up.

Quote:

Men are the hunters. When they like what they see they think of nothing else. They hunt what they see.

And put the bong away.

**julie** · #7 20th-December-2007

OK, I will explain. Here is one scenario. (the latest)

You make a friend and he is a male. But then he all of a sudden doesn't want to be friend. He wants more.

I can understand that males would rather a girlfriend but what if you don't let him pay for the dinner but you pay and then the next time he pays.

And then you just enjoy his company. Like you enjoy going out to the market and you enjoy going to the movies. But you say when you share intimate stories (often) that you don't want a boyfriend. And he seems to understand. And he says the same. (re: girlfriend)

But then all of sudden you have something new to get into and you don't wan't you friend around. But your friend doesn't understand.

Your girlfriend understands. She moves on and finds other girlfriends to hang around with. But your male friend doesn't. All of a sudden he is in love with you.

Like, that is not what you need. And then he does silly things. He drops off a birthday cake on your birthday and he writes to you. He is at the shop that you go to and makes excuses why he is there.

He then makes you angry because you didn't love him and you told him you don't want a boyfriend.

Don't guys believe what you say to them. Or are women wrong to have male friends?

BTW, this really happened to me and you are going to hate me because he got really bad and phoned the child agency on me and said things that were so unbelievable that the child agency didn't believe him but they had to investigate and I had to prove him wrong which I couldn't and he told the police I had threatened to kill him. This was so serious that his own friends broke his legs.

Go on. Tell me how wrong and horrible I was.

Timocrat · #8 20th-December-2007

Excellent Article! One of the best. Just the kind of thing that makes for useful information. Men can use this to make their lives better. Great work Percy, thank Amfortus for me.

Julie you have obviously taken this personally. This is where women fail. The article isn't about you and what happened to you. It is a general overview, and a super one at that. As soon as we focus on truth about women some want to let by gones be by gones. Women can't handle true conversation about core traits, unless they are angry and it is directed at men (who are supposed to handle it better because they are strong).

Quote:

Nice guys often bore them and so arguing gives them a bit of excitement. I've noticed many women seem to like to strike up arguments either to try and control you or test you. -Billy

Exactly right Bill. They often talk like the cartoon on "What Men are Saying about Women." By gathing personal info, said to help the male, they use it to discover weak points that are used in fights to get or maintain control. This is why many men are silent, not because they are tough guys to a fault, but because women think they can lead a relationship by turning clear weakness into strengh and pushing men to follow it because the TV and her girlfriends tell her so (since women are all about indirect moves, they must lead the relationshp for they are queens of indirectnesss). So all is allowed because a women's psudeo-philosophy is pure, when it is mystical and instinctive and not anywhere near a serious set of ideas or codes. If they were at least serious about them, women wouldn't violate them themsleves so often! Violating their own ideas is allowed when one has ideas of being a goddess!

**julie** · #9 20th-December-2007

Oh, and just in case you say that I should have chosen better ... let me remind you that the majority of you guys didn't choose too well either.

And also. I never wanted him harmed. I didn't know that was going to happen.