The cunts who write these "What a man should/shouldn't do" lists sure seem to have a high opinion of themselves. They talk about themselves as if they're divinities who must be worshipped.

More lists:

10 Things to not tell a man:

1) "That looks cute."
For the most part, men hate cute. We don't want to hear about it, we don't want to see it, and we sure as hell don't want to be it. If we come down stairs after getting dressed and you tell us we look cute, there's a 100 percent chance we're changing. We're supposed to be your protector, your rock, and cute does not fit into that picture.

2) "We need to talk."
These four words shut off a man's brain faster than long division. When men hear you say that they immediately go into flight mode. And anything they can do to get out of this conversation—and better yet, your apartment—they will. There are plenty of other ways to approach a delicate conversation, and getting us in a place where we feel comfortable is a good start.

3) "It's just a game."
Actually, it's not just a game. Sports are a major part of our lives and the outcome has as much to do with our mood as just about anything else. Is it fair? No. Is it right? No. Is it immature? Maybe. But it's life. Sometimes we just care too much. We understand that it doesn't make sense, but you should be happy that we're that passionate about something. Telling us that "it's just a game" is like us telling you that Oprah's just a talk show host.

4) "Nothing's wrong."
Please don't tell us nothing's wrong. The look on your face could make the toughest guy on the planet weep like a third-grade girl and your arms are crossed so tight you might explode. We're not mind readers; tell us what's going on. And don't make us guess because—believe me—you won't like what we come up with.

5) "I sound like my mom."
The mere fact that you might turn into your mom someday scares the hell out of us. Don't say it, even in jest—it's not funny. We actually believe (and pray) that the saying "every woman ends up looking like their mother" is an old wives' tale. If we didn't, no one would ever get married.

6) "I just want to be friends."
No you don't. You just want us to stop calling you. This is a lot like pulling off a band-aid. Do it quick—don't prolong the agony. Most of us take "I just want to be friends" as "There's still a chance," so if there isn't just make it a clean break and move on. Everyone will be much better because of it.

7) "Size doesn't matter."
Don't lie to us. We know it does, and we're doing our best to make up for it in other ways. It's best just to not say anything at all.


8) "What are you wearing?"
We're wearing whatever's clean or whatever you tell us to. We don't plan out our wardrobe days in advance, but we do actually try and look presentable. It may not work a lot of the time, but we do give it a shot. Giving us direction is completely encouraged though, so go ahead and suggest … nicely.

9) "Do you think she's pretty?"
Of course we do, our standards are much lower than yours. But just because we check her out doesn't mean we think any less of you. We try to be as discreet as possible, but for the most part, we can't help it. It's in our DNA. When an attractive woman walks by, it's best to just pretend nothing happened.

10) "Which outfit do you like better?"
I'm going to be honest here—90 percent of the guys out there are not going to tell you which outfit they like better: They're going to try to pick the one you like better and not get into a holy war when the babysitter is due any minute. To us, you always look good. Getting a couple cocktails and spending as much time as we can without the kids is our ultimate goal for a rare night out.

http://www.menshealth.com/cda/articl...3cd____&page=2

[...]

SPEAK NO EVIL
Women freak out. Often at you. Often for no discernible reason.

You say something that you consider totally innocuous, or even downright nice, only to find that you've offended, enraged, or annoyed us.

Your first problem--being attracted to women, a very weird group of people--is not going to go away. But here's a problem you can solve: word choice. You need to know the phrases that, once introduced to her volatile atmosphere, will result in explosion (or quiet contempt--no picnic either). Then you need to strike them from your vocabulary.

Warning: Some of these absolute no-no words and phrases seem so incredibly harmless, you may think we're kidding. We're not.

Forbidden Phrase #1: "Relax."
It might seem logical to you to tell a woman who's freaking out to relax. And if "logical" meant the same thing as "stupidest idea ever," you'd be correct. Understand, a woman screaming and carrying on in anger or frustration or panic thinks that her response is 100 percent appropriate. If the inciting situation has anything to do with you, she feels she has a responsibility to freak out extra to compensate for your maddening calm.

So when you tell her to relax, you're implying that your response--i.e., nothing--is correct. You're denying that there's a reason to be upset. You're telling her she's crazy. Women may sometimes feel crazy and joke about it, but anything smacking of accusations of being crazy will be far from soothing.

Say..."I'm just as upset about this as you are. Let's deal with it together." This way she knows you're totally sympathetic. This should help her to...oh, God...relax.

Forbidden Phrase #2: "I love you." (During a fight)
In movies, "I love you" is usually employed by men during I-love-you–appropriate situations--lovemaking, walks on the beach, airport reunions. In real life, a woman hears "I love you" most often at that point in a fight when she desperately wants to get to the heart of the issue, and when you desperately want to stop this nonsense and watch Alias--which you don't normally even watch.

When you come home shirtless from a bachelor party or forget our birthdays and stand there in the face of our rage and crushing disappointment, do you really believe that merely stating the powerful existence of your love is going to make everything okay? Because it's not.


Forbidden Phrase #3: "It's up to you." (A.K.A. "Whatever you want to do is fine with me.")
Relationships are full of decisions. You decide where to eat, where to go on vacation, where to send your child to preschool. Most men wouldn't dream of looking at their wife or girlfriend and saying, "You know what? I just don't care." They would, however, say, "It's up to you." And find themselves in a world of hurt they never saw coming.

Men think of decision-making as work without pay. For women, it's like window-shopping for life's possibilities, and we want you to help us shop. So when you say, "It's up to you," we feel abandoned.

Say . . . "I could definitely do A or B, but I'm not crazy about C. What are you thinking?" This shows you're listening, suggests you care, and gets you out of deciding.

Forbidden Phrase #4: "You knew I was this way when you married me."
Well, the truth is that we didn't. Or we knew deep down, but we were so busy enjoying our fantasy of you that we chose to ignore what was really there. It's not your fault. It's just that when we were little, we spent so much time daydreaming about having the perfect life. Now that we're actually in grown-up life, we can't turn off our daydreaming switch.

Telling a woman, "You knew I was this way when you married me" is like saying the way your life is right now is the way it's going to be forever and ever. And that may well be true--in many wonderful and not-so-wonderful ways. But if she were to accept that, a little part of her would die.

Say . . . "It frustrates me, too--and I'm working on it." It's a lie. That's okay.

Forbidden Phrase #5: (Nothing)
At times, you may be afraid of saying the wrong thing. You may think, If I just keep my mouth shut, I'll be okay. Well, no. Imagine you're pitching in a baseball game in which there is no hitter, not even a catcher. You would not enjoy that. Imagine yourself, head hanging, going to retrieve the ball yourself and, once again, throwing it to no one. That's how we feel when you don't talk to us.

Say . . . Anything. Throw the ball back. Throw it badly. Even risk throwing a wild pitch and letting her take an extra base. But keep your head in the game.




THE MAGIC WORDS
3 instant get-out-of-jail-free cards

When a woman wants to kill you, you have one thing going for you: Deep down, a tiny part of her wants you to make her not do it. She just might put down the apple slicer if you say one of the following sentences.

"Just tell me everything." I don't think a man has ever actually uttered this statement, so make history. Here's the thing: Our most violent anger is often the result of anticipating being forced to shut up. So once we're told we can give our entire, endless account--no rushing or defending ourselves--we cool off. Side benefit: We also get a little intimidated. We think, Is this part important or interesting or relevant? We edit ourselves.

"You are just so beautiful." The trick: You must say it as if it's just occurring to you at the moment, as if her pulchritude were a rainbow suddenly in your path, the stunningness of which has left you incapacitated, emotionally stunted, but in a good way. Say it as if you can remember little else--certainly not whatever irksome matter you were just discussing. Works well as an alternative to "I love you"-- but, the same way butter makes anything taste better, it's all-purpose.

"Sorry. It was all my fault." So classic. So hard to say. Because it's never all your fault, of course--and it's a very rare case in which she shouldn't also say she's sorry. Everyone likes to save face, especially men. But truly, there is nothing hotter to a woman than a man who's willing to admit he was wrong because he just loves her so damn much. You might feel like you're losing her respect, but unless you're always the one to apologize (which means you have a crazy lady on your hands), trust me, you're gaining it.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationshi...8415511&page=2

well as far as Im concerned, If what I say to a woman offends her that much, she is welcome to try to break my jaw and shut me up...........or barring that, dont listen

More things to say to horrify the missus.

" I left work early and spent the afternoon at your mother's".

" I've invited some girls from the office for dinner tomorrow night".

" I had a long talk with the milkman today".

" I have been seeing a Counsellor for the past six months".

" My boss says I have a promotion coming, but she wants to take you to lunch first".

" That skirt doesn't go with the blouse".

" I found some wonderful bargains at the shoe sale today".

Dear haaHoo

"....Equality gives them 50%.. """


they expect a tad more than that

more like 99% of the beneficial attributes of a situation

why only 1% for the chauvinistic pigs !!!- ya still gotta feed slaves

the shit they delegate to us 100%