1996
1998
2006
Seeing a pattern here? Nah, she's just a poor darling with very troubled life.

Anyway, let's play a little game.

It's year 2010 and you're Crystal Gail Magnum. Now you get to tell us what your next allegation(s) will be about (rape? kidnapping?) and why will you then back away from the charges and/or why will be the complaint dismissed and/or charges dropped - will it be because you are "afraid for your life", is it because "we live in a white patriarchal society", is it [/insert any excuse]??

Hmmm, since you get to play Crystal Gail Magnum, you'll be pretty limited in the being inventive department (because god knows that's the one thing she isn't), but try to do your best...

In her latest memoirs: Why I'm a Whore, Magnum claims to have been arse-raped sometime in the summer of 2010-

By a snooker cue

The alleged attack was the latest from a string of long objects; ranging from a hunting rifle, bamboo cane and a walking stick

The hunting rifle claimed, 'If only I had gone off whilst it occurred, I could have saved the cue from months of demonisation'

Ms Magnum's arsehole was unnavailable for comment

That was funny Fred X. Here's my go.
In an interveiw with Crystal Gail Mangum She had this to say.
" Well 8 months ago I was abduted and raped repeatedly by Chewbaca and Yoda. At first I was more scared of Chewbaca but it Quickly became evident that Yoda was in charge. While they were rearangeing my rectum I could hear Yoda chanting "use the force use the force" And then he did about 4 inches worth. Then Chewbaca forced me to have oral sex with him and I kept getting hair in my mouth that was the worst part of my ordeal.When asked why she was not pressing charges she said." For some reason noone beleives me if these men weren't big movies stars and jedi I bet someone would beleive me but the prosecuters and police said something about they couldn't prosecut frictional characters. And I must add that they were very frictional I still can't poopoo or wistle right! But even if they would prosecute I would have to drop it for fear of Darth Vader destroying my home planet a lot of people live there and I would feel bad if something I said hurt anyone."
Well this interveiwer can only respond to this story with a healthy "shut up you lieing bitch.