I always maintained that there was something innately twisted about feminism, perverted if you will. How can a semi-reasonable human being seriously maintain that "failing to take a woman's feelings into account" is sufficient reason for separating a father from his children, for instance. And what sort of twisted morality says "my body, my choice" when it isn't really your body being ripped to shreds?

Then, I ran across this while following some femtards on Twitter, gathering some of their tweets for a book of humor on the deep philosophical musings of the self-described feminist.

Quote from Some Perverted Femtard

FAQs: Feminist Asked Questions – Fisting for Feminists

Wednesday, 24 June 2009, 12:27 | Category : Safe Sex, Sex Education

By Fannie

Dear Fannie,
I’m a feminist trying to get her kink on. I’m pretty adventerous where sex is concerned and have heard a lot about fisting. I’ve never tried it before but it sounds worth the try. Any tips for a newcomer?
Help A New Dirty Diva

Dear HANDD,


Welcome to the deliciously delinquent world of fisting. Just for clarification for all of our readers, fisting is when a fist, forearm, etc. are inserted into either the anus or vagina of either a man or woman. It’s just my inkling that fisting tends to be more popular amongst the gay male community, but that could easily be merely due to the highly visible kink and BDSM contingent under the queer umbrella (hey, if you’re already getting the shit kicked out of ya for wanting to rub sticks together, I imagine it makes it easier to break other social taboos where sex is concerned).


What fisting is not: punching a person’s vagina or anus; ripping anything
That being said, fisting is not for the feignt of heart, or hole, rather. Like any kind of sex requiring penetration of the anus or vagina, due care and time should be taken before you start playing hand puppet with your ladybits or bussy (that would be boy pussy… as coined by the indelible Rufus Wainwright). Here are a few things you need to know for safe fisting fun (i should disclaim this with the fact that I have never actually partaken in any fisting festivities, but in the course of being an advice columnist have consulted with many a fisting enthusiast):


1: a trusting relationship between fister and fistee - Someone’s hand is going to go inside you. Think about that for a second. The appendage that some person uses to type on his/her keyboard, pick his/her nose, etc. is going to be making all kinds of friendly with either your vaginal wall or lower intestinal tract. Many women and men will not be able to tolerate the kind of anatomical stress that fisting requires, so it’s important that the person who will be sticking his/her arm inside your body be somebody you’re sure won’t fuck it up.


2: Have a safe word – This feeds into step one. Whether you are playing out a scene or getting straight to the point, this is an incredibly delicate sexual activity. The wrong move can be very dangerous on the receptive party. So be patient, and take your time. And if he/she says grapefruit, or whatever your safety word is… than stop, rinse, and try again.


3: Lube, lube, lube, and more Lube – I don’t know how to stress this enough. Use lots and lots of lubrication. It is advised that you use a latex glove when fisting someone in order to prevent those lovely fingernails of your from tearing up the inside of your vaginal wall or rectal canal. Red’s a great color for a top coat, not so much when fisting. So, use lube until you think you’ve used too much… and then use some more. Always use water-based lubricants, i.e. not silicone, as it will wear down the latex glove you use. I’ve also heard of people turning to crisco for lubrication. Whether or not your want the secret to grandma’s flaky pie crust up your peesh is a different question entirely.


4: Prep isn’t just a fashion style – Both women and men will need a significant amount of prep time before fisting can happen, but this is especially so in women who wish to be entered vaginally. Unlike the anus which can be relaxed and expanded psychologically and with the aid of muscle relaxers, the vagina’s elasticity in this situation is mostly derrived from the woman’s arousal. You know what that means! Foreplay, and a lot of it. Stimulating the clitorus is a good start, but include other erogenous zones on the body. Women report higher rates of sensitivity in places like nipples, behind the ear, neck and stomach, so try and push buttons that often get overlooked.


5: Confucius say: Less Fist, more Lotus – When entering the vagina or rectum, it’s important not to try and close your hand into a fist and jabbing it right in there. That will only result in your punching your partner’s bussy/ladybits. Shape your hand so that all fingers come to a point, like a lotus flower. Only a drag queen could make fisting sound like yoga, eh? You might not be able to get all five fingers in at once, so go one at a time until all fingers can enter and exit with general ease. When you make the final push to go inside, go slowly and know that once you get past the knuckles, the worst has passed. Once inside, you can form your hand back into a ball.


6: Spining Around – Kylie Minogue had the right idea. When fisting it’s usually less about the traditional plunging in-out method of normal fucking. It’s best to start, rather, with rotating the hand inside the vagina or rectum. So think polar and less vector. Only the mathletes will get that reference. And if you are a mathlete engaging in fisting, hats of to you, my friend… hats OFF!


7: Fisting is like Hiking, The zenith is only halfway – So once the fistee comes or has his/her fill of the fabulous fisting action, it’s important to remember that getting your hand out of the vagina or anus may take as much time as it took to get in, in the first place. It’s likely that this process can be aided by the smooth muscle’s natural desire to expunge material from those orifices. Again, take your time and don’t rush this. A quick withdrawl can leave do as much damage as a hasty entrance. Hmm… funny how sex advice also applies to foreign policy.


So that’s that my friends. Hopefully you’ll find your fisting fantasies fulfilled and fabulous. Until next time, Auf wiedersehen!


Send you questions to fannie@feministforchoice.com

So what are you waiting for? Send her your questions!