This forum, this modesly sized community of regulars, has been undergoing some small changes recently. Our numbers have increased a little but the type of people has broadened. Acrimony has increased a tad.

Hey, I 'm not pointing fingers nor do I intend to whack anyone. I have been arguementative too.

It is easy to continue down the path of criticism and compalint about feminism. God knows there are few enough places safe to do either. It is good that we periodically explore what to do and what organisation is feasible. We don't seem to get very far with that.

We discuss what we can do. We tell one another about things we are occasionally doing in the way of activism.

What we rarely discuss is what we do at home.

You see, there are a number of people here who are trying to make a go of their marriages. Not just the few women, either. And I think - howl me down if you wish - that a sound MRA looks after what he has got in an active fashion.

So, why not discuss some issues of strengthening what we have at home?

(Run for the Hills. Percy is going all touchy-feely ! )

Below is an article by Marc Rudov. Whack'em on the head and drag'em to the cave Rudov.

He makes a good case. It cuts both ways. Of course we do not expect men to be much good at communication if, that is, we apply stupid, mendacious, misandric stereotypes to ourselves; and we do expect women to have all the good words and phrases because they have a streotype, a hubris, about their own supreme communication skills.

http://mensnewsdaily.com/2008/04/20/why-did-she-choose-you/

Marc H. Rudov

Why Did She Choose You?

April 20, 2008 at 2:03 pm · Filed under Vox Populi
Harbingers of Failure

Ask your woman why she chose a Louis Vuitton bag or Manolo Blahnik shoes. She’ll talk endlessly and enthusiastically about these possessions. Impressive, huh? Has she told you, to your face, with similar enthusiasm, why she chose you? If not, there are three possible reasons, each unacceptable: 1) you never asked her; 2) she doesn’t adore you; 3) she’s guarded and unexpressive. Whatever the case, your relationship is already dead and headed for dissolution.

If you continue this relationship, however, without hearing her glowing testimonial about you, do so at your peril — and prepare for her scathing testimony about you in court. By the way, if you fail to communicate likewise to her, you are just as culpable for your eventual breakup. Being able to talk ad nauseam about why you love fishing or hunting or football, while unable to express specifically why you’re living with or married to her, is a HUGE red flag.

Lack of conviction and inability to communicate it are two harbingers of failure — in politics, in relationships, in business. One of my most searing political memories is from November 4, 1979, three days before Senator Ted Kennedy officially announced his candidacy for the 1980 Democratic presidential nomination.

On that pivotal night, CBS News correspondent Roger Mudd asked him why he wanted to be president. Kennedy, shocked by Mudd’s insightful question, stumbled, fumbled, and uttered a convictionless, passionless policy-speak response, precipitating a sharp decline in his popularity. Jimmy Carter ultimately defeated him 50%-38%. Kennedy really didn’t want to be president, and it was obvious.

Dumbfounding
Marriage in America is an institution in decline: divorce continues to ravage parents (especially fathers) and children; for the first time in history, only 49% of women are married; and the ever-climbing out-of-wedlock birthrate now averages 40%.

Why is this? First, family law encourages acrimony and single-mother households. Second, misandrist feminists like Rosanna Hertz condone and celebrate fatherless homes. Third, men and women join forces for all the wrong reasons and can’t even explain why they’re together. It’s dumbfounding. If you don’t believe me, ask your best buddy why he’s with his current girlfriend or wife. You’ll be amazed at his answer. Or, maybe you won’t be.

Last week, singer Enrique Iglesias announced to the press that, for at least three years, he’s been with girlfriend Anna Kournikova, who has ignored his countless marriage proposals. Says Iglesias about his unrequited attempts to betroth Anna: “I always try, but she pays me no attention.” Ignoring him is abusive, disrespectful behavior: she owes him an answer, one way or the other. But, his tolerance of her abuse and disrespect is proof that he has no self-esteem.

Why on earth are these people together? And, what keeps them together? Besides unhealthy inertia and individual self-loathing, I haven’t a clue. Yet, you may identify with their dysfunctional dynamic and wonder why it’s a problem. If so, you need serious help.

The NoNonsense Bottom Line
Become Roger Mudd: Get to the “heart” of your relationship; determine why your woman wants to be with you. Ask her this simple, revealing question: Why did you choose me? If she’s not as obviously excited, animated, passionate, specific, and forthcoming about you as she is about her new shoes, give her the boot.

He raises several useful issues.

What would you advise people to do regarding their perceptions of one another, as an MRA.

How would you, as an MRA, help people stay and grow together.?

What would you do, as an MRA, to help your own marriage to survive and prosper and not fall prey to the Family Court blood and money suckers and associated rent-seeking scum?