Quote from Kim

I apologize if this doesn't belong here.....I just needed somewhere to vent about this.....

The economy being what it is, I took a second job a couple of months ago (so if I'm not around as much or post less frequently on my blog....you'll know why ). My second job is as a substitute teacher. I substitute everything K-12 (5 years to 18 for anyone not familiar with the U.S. school system). I've really enjoyed it because I love working with kids (of course, my two older children have required I take a solemn oath NEVER to teach their classes.....oh the humiliation ).

Anyhow, I was teaching a 3rd grade class, a grade I absolutely love to teach. My youngest son is in 3rd grade and it's just a wonderful, wonderful age.

One of the little boys came to school an hour late. He was a really sweet boy, but I noticed the other kids ostracizing him. He was student of the day so he was supposed to, with a helper, pass out books and papers and such throughout the day.

The kids tried to refuse to take books and papers from him, waiting instead for the other child to come around. I, of course, quickly put a stop to this but I could see the way it hurt him. Eight years old is old enough to know that children are only being nice because the teacher is forcing them to.

Well, throughout the day, I heard him talking to the other kids and to one of the adult helpers he was familiar with. I only caught bits and pieces but he mentioned living with his mom and her not having a mattress so needing to sleep on the floor and having to go to court pretty soon. He was also sporting a black eye.

Now, obviously I don't have all the pieces to the equation and am making assumptions but the evidence suggests that here is a little boy who's living in an abusive environment, very likely from a broken home and staying with his mom. Needless to say, I don't know for sure where he got the black eye, why there's not a mattress for him to sleep on, why he arrived to school an hour late or why the other children treat him like a pariah, but it just broke my heart. Why should an 8 year old have to worry about going to court? He was just the sweetest little boy. It would be unsurprising, based on the things I'd witnesses, for him to have some behavioral problems, considering the environment he was in....but he didn't. He was sweet and helpful, respectful and kind (of course, who knows how long before such qualities are extinguished in him as often happens to children is such environments). I just wished I could bundle him up and take him home to live at my house.

it would be interesting to gather the valid figures ( not cooked feminit figures) on just how many kids come from fractured homes nowdays

( you have cited how such kids might fare above)

following the advent of the infamous feminit Family Court carousel system where daddy is excommunicated and warned off

feminit carousel system - feminit indocrination by the feminti education system ( here the correct feminit attitudes are inculcated into the brains of boys and young men) courtship marriage kids separation divorce legal banishment horrendous peonage dues to eternity - dare he default, they calculate interest on overdues payable when he gets outta gaol !!!!!

at this juncture daddy realises the state has taken over his role with momma merely the nanny to his erstwhile kids - he had better not try to contact his kids either without her say so

That is unnerving. What do you plan to do? Are you going to talk to him? Report suspected abuse?

Quote from John Dias

That is unnerving. What do you plan to do? Are you going to talk to him? Report suspected abuse?

"Report suspected abuse" I see your drift John

Quote from John Dias

That is unnerving. What do you plan to do? Are you going to talk to him? Report suspected abuse?

I won't be talking to him because I was only needed for one day in that class. I went in to the school office and reported my suspicions and what I'd witnessed while I was there.

""I went in to the school office and reported my suspicions""

this is all part of the femint system blow the whistle on suspicion

I suppose that the 'social workers' were alerted

this is where the state sticks its beak into private issue

Poor kid. My heart goes out to him. When I was a kid we were poor and had an abusive mother but my grandpa always made sure i had a place to sleep and a blanket to keep warm. I often had to share the bed with my little brother but that really wasn't so bad.

How horrible not to have even a basic comfort like a bed and then to be made fun of for things beyond his control.

And to top it off with possible violence in the home. So sad.

Just because the system is broken does not mean that she should do nothing. Reporting a suspicion is how the system is supposed to work.

Reporting suspicions as facts I.E. his dad must have beat him up or his mom must have beat him up is what has screwed up the system.

But to say nothing would have been wrong.

Quote from shaazam

I suppose that the 'social workers' were alerted

this is where the state sticks its beak into private issue

The reason why we object to the current system is not because it is supposedly designed to stop violence, but rather because it breaks up families on this pretext.

It's also possible that his parent(s) might not have abused him at all, and his bruise could instead be due to bullying that he experienced by his peers. After all, it's pretty clear that they have something against him.

the system is cocked to hasten the departure of menfolk from his "family"

feminits hate the nuclear family or any family other than the state momma and her kids

this is what this forum is all about

the intrusion of the state in private life upon (suspicion)

the state can suspect private citizens for all sorts of things

and sic the social workers in to shatter a family that might just be getting by

nowdays the teachers doctors nurses are obliged by law to report their "suspicions"

this is especially grim cause men are adjudged a priori to be abusers and molesters

so with an allegation on "suspicion" he might well be hunted and processed by the feminit system as a criminal

nobody in this forum really believes they will receive anything but short shrift from the feminit system - the leos would be at his door before he could say "Jack Spratt" following an allegation merely based on suspicion which may just reflect personal values or dislikes

Quote from John Dias

It's also possible that his parent(s) might not have abused him at all, and his bruise could instead be due to bullying that he experienced by his peers. After all, it's pretty clear that they have something against him.

This was something I'd considered as well. I told the counselor about the treatment he'd recieved by the other children, that he had a black eye and talked about going to court. Generally, if they feel there's reason for concern, they will make sure the child has the opportunity to talk to a counselor. Hopefully, his home situation with his mom is not an abusive one, but considering the other things going on in his life, he could probably really use someone to talk to.

Quote from chevalier

Just because the system is broken does not mean that she should do nothing. Reporting a suspicion is how the system is supposed to work.

Reporting suspicions as facts I.E. his dad must have beat him up or his mom must have beat him up is what has screwed up the system.

But to say nothing would have been wrong.

I'm actually legally obligated to report such things, but I didn't do it because of legal obligations. I did it because, once aware that he's having a hard time, hopefully they will watch the behavior of the other children; watch to make sure he's not walking around with any more black eyes and make sure somebody is there to listen.

We had some extra time before the bell rang and I spent it talking to the kids about the way we treat others....I don't know how much good it will do since I won't be around to repeat or reinforce it......

""Hopefully, his home situation with his mom is not an abusive one, but considering the other things going on in his life, he could probably really use someone to talk to.""

hopefully !!!! you have set the machinery in motion on suspicion and hope which might result the child being taken into care

I expect such a someone could be someone with the professional expertise like Dr Phil possesses and possibly Momma and her son could appear on his show to express her gratitude on his Messiah like abilities in resolving home life issue even if such issue have been the product of suspicions of alert feminits

Quote from shaazam

hopefully !!!! you have set the machinery in motion on suspicion and hope which might result the child being taken into care

No, actually, I didn't. I wasn't surprised to find that they were already aware of a situation. Of course, I don't have any idea what that situation is, be it consistant bullying or something at home.

A short sharp shock to the heart.

How many times I have been in the same situation I cannot count.

I too had a blanket obligation to report - the Rules' - and I am always interested in what people do.

Most do as they are told, of course. 'Follow the procedure'. Unfortunately the procedure is more often than not put in place by a busy-body bureaucrat who does not have the immediate personal relationship responsibility. Nor the 'professional' one.

I usually made my own rules.

Situations constrain and here you were in a situation where it was just one fleeting contact with little opportunity to follow up. And the follow up is essential.

Otherwise one only has a suspicion based on the very little information that can be gleaned from a singular contact or observation.

Speaking to the school counsellor is a good way of setting a follow-up in train in order to confirm or reject the suspicion; to make that suspicion firm and well based or dismissed as the heart leading the head. To my mind that is necessary before 'authorities' are even considered. Their 'cure' is often worse than the ailment.

Sentimentality is powerful. It provides excuses for offloading responsibility.

And it is all too easy to leap in and 'interfere' in a private life, driven to the door by that sentimentality. Early on I relied on advice from an older and wiser man than I that said get the facts rather than leap to judgement too quickly. Also, the 'client' has to give permission for you to enter his life otherwise it is all too easy to 'intrude'

Between a rock and a hard place.

The place to be of course is beside the child. Compassion requires two people being beside one another. The child needs someone beside him and for that person to gently gain permission to intrude. It is often eagerly and thankfully given. Reluctance has to be respected and patience is needed. I hope the counsellor you spoke to knows this.

To me, regardless of the 'Rules' it is a matter between the 'client' and the 'professional'.

I would be continuing to keep contact with the counsellor over the matter.

One would need a very big house if one took him home - to join the countless others ! We have to leave it to a 'Big Someone in the Sky' who has many more rooms. You have a big heart. Rolls Royce heart and a Volkswagon budget.

When I was a little boy at school, we had several barely clothed, smelly, bruised children in almost every class. Poverty was more common. We are shocked by it today. We are driven to do something. Back then the teacher ladies - and men - would get the mums together to help one another out. Found a matress; went and did some cleaning of a poor persons house; took food to a poor mother looking after kids. (My experience was of a 'Church school', so I can't really generalise). Dad's were thin on the ground then because many had not returned from the war. Not deadbeats, but dead.

The teachers and mums were more like you back then, Kim.