I've always thought that idea ridiculous and demeaning. But I had quite a lulzy chat with a not too bright young devotchka, in reply to her message (on a dating site).

She sent me a message something like "Oh I just want a nice boy who will pay for dates. Here's my number." I didn't reply, but then she started IMing me.


[11:34:28 pm]level27gurl86:so what do you think about tecting me.
[11:34:35 pm]oneadam:I only pay my own way on dates.
[11:34:45 pm]level27gurl86:umm why.
[11:35:10 pm]level27gurl86:i thought the point of datting someone was to pay for them.
[11:35:53 pm]level27gurl86:why would you make your girlfriend pay for herself.
[11:35:56 pm]oneadam:the point of dating someone is to get to know them. you pay for them once in a while if you feel like doing something nice
[11:36:13 pm]level27gurl86:if you say so.
[11:36:36 pm]oneadam:I do say so, and that is how it goes for me.
[11:36:56 pm]level27gurl86:so you mean if were acctually datting i wpuld have to pay for myslef everywhere we went.
[11:37:41 pm]oneadam:not everywhere, but most the time. if you were short on cash, I might help you out.
[11:38:04 pm]level27gurl86:i don't see why you wouldn't pay all of the timr.
[11:38:14 pm]level27gurl86:the point of the relationship is to pay for the girl.
[11:38:38 pm]oneadam:I dont see how it is you feel this sort of entitlement.
[11:39:00 pm]level27gurl86:umm it's not something i feel.
[11:39:09 pm]level27gurl86:it's something that most men do.
[11:39:24 pm]oneadam:I am not most men.
[11:39:49 pm]level27gurl86:i can tell that.
[11:39:56 pm]level27gurl86:makin the girl pay for herself.
[11:40:22 pm]oneadam:A girl worth my payin for pays for herself.
[11:40:38 pm]level27gurl86:umm no.
[11:40:45 pm]level27gurl86:then you wounder why you are on this site.
[11:40:53 pm]level27gurl86:cause you only think about yourself.
[11:41:57 pm]oneadam:a man's basic motives are for his own end.
[11:42:15 pm]level27gurl86:umm no.
[11:45:03 pm]oneadam:no? then what are man's basic motives?
[11:49:17 pm]level27gurl86:umm payin for his girlfriend.
[11:49:50 pm]oneadam:and why do you suppose some men always pay for their girlfriends?
[12:16:01 am]oneadam:giving up already? shame, I quite enjoy a good debate.

I'm anxious to here your reactions on this. I may not be online again though for some time.

YEAH, she's obviously a moron!

There's nothing wrong with that!
Unless you pay for him ever time you go out for food!

Cool!!

Good for you.

But notice he is a friend. Things change when its a date and not a friend. I am sure most women don't expect to be paid for by male friends.

i think more and more men are catchin' on to these "female" games.

"the point of the relationship is to pay for the girl."

That about says it all. What is in it for the guy?

I think you made your point, but I'd have gone in from a different angle.

I'd have just told her to send me a picture, and if she's hot enough said If I'm paying she's putting out, simple as that.

I'm comfortable with her being a prostitute, is she?



Also, notice how she immediately tries to shame you. ''Then you wonder why you're on this site'', basically shes implying you're a loser who can't get a girlfriend, ignoring the fact that you could have had her if you'd only been willing to compromise your principles.

Not to mention that she's missing the obvious...if being on that site makes you some kind of loser incapable of attracting someone of the opposite sex......what does that say about her? I'm sure she's the exception?

Incoherency and a plethora of typos aside....her complete arguement was just ridiculous. The reason men date is so they can pay for their girlfriends? If so, it should come as no surprise if men are less and less interested in dating.

I never felt right about letting guys buy me things if I wasn't interested in a committed relationship. The first and only time I was interested in a committed relationship was with my husband. And, since I was the only one with a job when we first met.....I was the one who paid when we went out. If he'd had the job and I hadn't, I'm sure he would have paid. We just wanted to spend time together, who paid or had the money was a rather insignificant side issue.

Before I was married, I frequently had to beat women off of the check. Frequently they insisted on paying my way as well as theirs - especially if they had initiated the date.

I frankly felt very awkward, as I was reared to think in terms of "the man always pays." But I didn't make an issue out of it - unless, as you said in your above discussion, I felt like it for some reason.

I would frankly prefer to return to the days of "the man always pays" if it also meant that women would leave their collective neurosis (often referred to with the more technical title of "feminism") behind, but as long as I have to deal with the stupidity of feminism, I figured they might as well pay for me to go out once in a while.

Tit for tat. So to speak.

Now that I am married, my wife pays for EVERYTHING.

OK, just kidding.

I can never get married!

I give my wife enough money every month to pay for everything, she better damn well pay for wherever I take her... she does.

Yes, thats what REASONABLE and truly independant people do!

If you want something, you pay for it, if you invite someone, you pay for them!

Its called, being a reasonable person!

Women who want a date, then expect the man to pay..

Are selfish..

And men who fall for that, are just stupid!!

When she said that the point of getting dates is to have the other pay for them, you should have told her that she should pay for your stuff too on dates. Since that's the point in dating.

If I'd be a guy, I'd rather buy beer for my friends than buy dinner to one of these obnoxious braindead idiots.

Well, your friend sounds like a bit of a tool. He should still pay his share, unless it is his birthday or something.