I'm a feminist now

**dad_savage** · 3rd-March-2011

I've decided that I'm now a hardcore, radical Feminist. Their arguments are just too convincing and I can't continue to live in denial. I'm already attracted mostly to women so lesbianism should be simple, and as a Feminist I must now support women. Here are some ways I plan to do just that, by tackling five major issues which stand in the way of true equality for women.

1. The suicide gap - Despite attempting it more often, women are only able to commit suicide at 25% of the rate men do. The bigoted Patriarchy clearly is preventing women from realizing their dreams of suicide (which they should have a right to because life under Patriarchal oppression is so intolerable unless you're a radical lesbian like me) I for one will not stand idly by while such gross inequality stands! Join me, and together we can close the suicide gap.

2. The Prison Gap - The overwhelming majority of prison inmates are still men. In fact, it's statistically been proven that, by and large, men serve 30-40% longer sentences for the same crimes. Why aren’t more women allowed to experience the giddy thrills of prison life? Prisoners get to laze about all day working out (do you know how much it costs to join a gym?) and being fed at public expense. Feminists like me fight for women to go to prison because prison is a male-free environment, and a great place to be a lesbian like me.

3. The Work-Place Deaths Gap - 98-99% of workplace deaths are suffered by men. This is, of course, a patriarchal conspiracy in which workplace deaths are being used as a means for men to dodge their responsibilities to society acting as if somehow ceasing to exist gives them the right to stop generating taxable income, and taking an extended holiday, while also getting to score big on life insurance and compensation payouts. Not good enough!

4. The Custody Gap - Everyone knows that for a feminist, like me, there is nothing more horrible than seeing women give in to socially constructed gender-roles (which we should destroy, as feminists) yet society clearly reinforces these by ensuring women almost always gain custody of their own children, forcing them to nurture and sacrifice for them, as if this is all women are good for! We fight for a court system which does not automatically dump the toil and sacrifice of child-rearing on women.

5. The Life-Gap - In light of how horrible it is to be a woman, this is perhaps the most terrible of all Patriarchal conspiracies. You see, they’re not content to see you suffer for only a small amount of time, no, in fact by dedicating overwhelming amounts of health spending and policy-concern to your welfare they’ve ensured that you’re very much likely to live longer than any given man, and given how horrible it is for a woman to be alive in a Patriarchy this is nothing short of torture. Say no to longer life-spans, and suffer less!

If you're a (fellow) feminist, please look on this as a challenge. A call to action, if you will. I, as a male lesbian, will gladly stand side-by-side with you as we (liberal, right thinking persons) campaign to make these positive changes a reality.

BUT!

As for all the small-dicked misogynist MRA's (MRA stands for Monkey Raping Asshole, by the way) reading this in their mother's basement, get real! Start being a feminist like me, otherwise you're just proving that you're gay, that you hate women, and that you never get laid.

**Lady Catherine** · 3rd-March-2011

The parody is hilarious.

**Popadibs** · 3rd-March-2011

I've seen the error of my ways... in honor of feminists everywhere I'm changing my name to Popafems.

**nivek** · 3rd-March-2011

you go girl friend

**dad_savage** · 3rd-March-2011

The parody is hilarious.

Parody?

Why are you posting on an MRA board, are you some kind of gender-traitor?

I've seen the error of my ways... in honor of feminists everywhere I'm changing my name to Popafems.

Just so you know, you're still a worthless peice of crap for being male, nothing can change that though you are now slightly less worthless than men who don't make such gestures.

**Marx** · 3rd-March-2011

What's really sad about this, is that I've genuinely seen some feminists turn men's issues into women's issues using very similar logic (e.g. the suicide gap). They have no idea how pathetic it makes them look to turn even the grizzliest of men's issues on it's head and try to claim it as somehow oppressive to women.

**Lady Catherine** · 3rd-March-2011

Quote from dad_savage the feminist

Why are you posting on an MRA board, are you some kind of gender-traitor?

If libertarianism, support for liberation of both sexes, equality as far as it can be mustered, and a dislike for all bigotry is being a traitor to women then, yes, I'll take my chances here as a traitor.

**dad_savage** · 3rd-March-2011

If libertarianism, support for liberation of both sexes, equality as far as it can be mustered, and a dislike for all bigotry is being a traitor to women then, yes, I'll take my chances here as a traitor.

I'm a feminist, so... OF COURSE IT IS! YOU FILTHY GENDER TRAITOR!

What's really sad about this, is that I've genuinely seen some feminists turn men's issues into women's issues using very similar logic (e.g. the suicide gap). They have no idea how pathetic it makes them look to turn even the grizzliest of men's issues on it's head and try to claim it as somehow oppressive to women.

I agree. It's beyond sad and I've seen it too

**Lady Catherine** · 3rd-March-2011

Quote from dad_savage

I'm a feminist, so... OF COURSE IT IS! YOU FILTHY GENDER TRAITOR!

I love your logic! Because you advocate for women, you automatically assume you speak for me, I'm sorry that's not how it works. I speak for me, and I certainly can pick and choose what I think is right myself and I don't need a movement to tell me otherwise.

**Douglas** · 3rd-March-2011

I'll only join your movement (what is it called, by the way - "eFeminism"?) if it also addresses a local problem in the UK here.

6. The Pension-Gap - The Patriarchy™ works against women at work by making them retire sooner. Men even go so far as to put more money into the national pension scheme than women, just so that women's pensions are funded so that they can be pushed out of work and retired off while men can carry on being employed until just a few years before most of them die. Say no to longer pension times, and demand to also work without state pension rights until a few years before death!

**Zuberi** · 4th-March-2011

Yes! All this time I've had it wrong. I now see the errors of my ways. I will now remove my balls and put them neatly in my purse. Then I will grab a tub of ice cream and watch Oprah demonize men while crying tears of joy!

**nickb275** · 4th-March-2011

How dare you say such a thing about Oprah!!

**byslexic_danana** · 4th-March-2011

Quote from Marx

What's really sad about this, is that I've genuinely seen some feminists turn men's issues into women's issues using very similar logic (e.g. the suicide gap). They have no idea how pathetic it makes them look to turn even the grizzliest of men's issues on it's head and try to claim it as somehow oppressive to women.

WHAT?! They make out that the suicide gap is a women's issue?! Christ, if any feminists want to help equalise this statistic, I'm all for it....

**dad_savage** · 4th-March-2011

WHAT?! They make out that the suicide gap is a women's issue?! Christ, if any feminists want to help equalise this statistic, I'm all for it....

Their argument is that women fail to commit suicide because they're indocrinated to believe that they're weak and incapable of decisive action, hence reliance on poisons and overdoses where male suicide attempts tend to involve hanging or firearms. This is not a joke. They actually use this as an argument, not that women should commit suicide more, that they are oppressed.

In reality women fake suicide for attention at the drop of a hat because it works, they get the very attention they crave. Men know they'll get none, so why bother? I've attempted suicide, so this might seem hypocritical of me, but there is a difference between a legitimate attempt and a ploy for sympathy.

I know women, several, who claim to have 'tried,' to commit suicide. Usually this involves taking a few dozen OTC painkillers or sleep aids. Quite laughable. The pharmacuetical equivalent of a stubbed toe.

**CaptDMO** · 4th-March-2011

In my fiftyish years of personal experience...

Quote from dad_savage

In reality (a shockingly large number of) women fake (an astonishing number of things) for attention at the drop of a hat because it works, they get the very attention they crave.

And yet, there seems to be no significant consequence for children that cry wolf, just to watch the village men-folk respond.
Oopsie...NOW there really IS a wolf.(fuse to mend, hole to dig, mastodon to disembowel and butcher, salon to build)
OK, for THIS part, uh I take it all back!
Truth has no agenda.
Blanche DuBoise deemed herself entitled to THE VERY BEST in her reliance on the kindness of strangers.