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I'm the Daddy...

This is a discussion on I'm the Daddy... within the Chit chat (MAIN) forums, part of the General category; Stolen from SYG.. (i'll put the urls in later..) http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4986804.stm Ian Mucklejohn made history when he became the first single ...


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  #1  
Old 21st-May-2006
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I'm the Daddy...

Stolen from SYG.. (i'll put the urls in later..)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4986804.stm

Quote:


Ian Mucklejohn made history when he became the first single man in the UK to have his own children without a female partner. But he knew one day they would have to meet their mother.

Five years ago bachelor Ian Mucklejohn, a 58-year-old businessman, decided that what was missing in his life was children.

He could have found a woman just to have a baby with, but didn't think that would have been ethical or morally justifiable. Also, if the relationship broke up, the mother would get custody.

So with the help of the internet he found an American egg donor, had her eggs fertilised with his sperm in California and paid a surrogate to carry the babies - something he would not have been able to do legally in the UK.

One-parent family

The total cost topped £50,000 and the result was triplets - Piers, Lars and Ian. Six weeks after their birth, Mr Mucklejohn flew to the US to collect them and bring them home. Five years on his self-created family is happy and healthy.

Despite being very close to his own mother, he does not believe his sons are missing out because the concept of "mother" plays no part in their daily existence.



"I am the anchor in their lives," he says. "That's not to say having a mother isn't a great thing, but as long as I am doing my best by them I don't think they are missing out. I knew I could combine both genders, and do constantly with the boys. I give them lots of cuddles and then play football in the garden with them.

"My children are the product of a single-parent family, like many of their friends and lots of people in today's society."

But the possibility that they might want to know more about their mother in the future played a large part in Mr Mucklejohn's decision to take them to the US recently to see how and where they were created, and meet their biological mother Melissa Valdovinos and surrogate mother Tina Price.

"I don't know if the children will ever need their mother," he says. "I don't think they will because she has never been a part of their daily lives, but I think it is important to keep a good relationship with Melissa - also Tina - so in the fullness of time they can find them and talk to them if they want."



For Melissa, their biological mother, the extraordinary moment she met her three sons for the first time was a positive experience, but no more than that.

"I felt attached to them but not in the respect that I feel they belong to me," she says. "I don't see myself as their mummy because I'm not doing the job of a mother. I realise they are Ian's responsibility - not mine."

Melissa's own mother walked out on her when she was just two. She does not feel that she suffered as a result, which could explain her ability to remain detached. It was more emotional for surrogate mother Tina, who cried when she saw the boys.

"I still feel connected even though I don't know them," she says. "My heart felt full just watching them play and watching them with their Dad. It felt nice to have been part of it and seeing that they are a family."

Life complete



Their reactions proved to Mr Mucklejohn that he had picked the right women for the job.

"For Melissa there was a satisfaction with what she had done and for Tina it was a bit more emotional," he says.

"But I had a sense when I chose them both that they were doing it for the right reasons and there would be no difficulties on their side when the babies were born."

And for the boys? They are still too young to fully understand the role both women played in their creation and behaved like typical five years olds, more interested in playing than meeting the women.

"They never really asked before and they have shown no more interest in either of their mothers since they met them," says Mr Mucklejohn.

He is aware that his decision about how to create a family is not understood by everyone. But he published a book And Then There Were Three to set the record straight.

Since then the response has been mostly positive, especially from people unable to have children themselves.

"I have seen the unhappiness childlessness brings and this country makes it too hard to overcome that," he says. "But it can be done."

One Life: I'm The Daddy will be broadcast on Wednesday 17 May at 2240 BST on BBC One.
If anyone can grab a vidcap of this programme - i'd highly appreciate it. I can host it and enable free download of it, but i have no means to acquire a capture of it... being out of the country does have that side-effect.








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So I smiled and was happy, and behold... Things did get worse.




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Old 21st-May-2006
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I'll have to check TV listings to see if this is repeated sometime.
BTW, heres a link to his book:
And Then There Were Three: The Exceptional Story of a Remarkable Surrogacy Family And Then There Were Three: The Exceptional Story of a Remarkable Surrogacy Family
And Then There Were Three: Diary of a Truly Single Father And Then There Were Three: Diary of a Truly Single Father
-----

Maybe this will prove to Feminazis that men can raise children on their own.
Its also a step in the direction of something actually resembling equality.
Also nice to see a bit of support for the man as well.


This guy is a muppet though...
Quote:
What a loser! Just because he can't be bothered to invest in a relationship like a normal adult he buys children ! What a sad individual.
Nigel Ruchpaul, Reading
This guy probably doesn't have any inkling of the way the courts are heavily biased in favour of women and in an event of divorce the man would probably lose custody of the kids.

A few people are outraged that a man doesn't need a woman to help raise the kids. But I bet that if you suggested to them that a woman needed a man to help raise the kids, you would get a load of abuse.
Apparently its 'empowering' for a woman to say that she doesn't need a man to help raise kids, but women and manginas get a bit uneasy when the shoe is on the other foot and a man can raise kids without women.
This person seems unable to accept this:
Quote:
A child not needing it's mother? These people are truly on cloud cuckoo land. It's alright for him I suppose: he's rich enough to pay a nanny to do the mothering for him. Absolutely disgusting
Ed
Quote:
While Mr Mucklejohn's desire to become a loving father is to be applauded and supported - I am somewhat concerned about the long term effects that this apparent 'mother descrimination' may have on these boys and how it may affect their adult lives and relationships. Not having a mother is not necessarily the question, as long as they have some form of daily female input into their lives. And also lets draw attention to Mr Mucklejohn's age - we are very quick to condemn elderly mother's, what makes this situation any different.
April, London
'Mother discrimination'? What about bloody father discrimination?
And as for 'daily female input', what about the millions of kids who don't have any contact with their fathers? Apparently no one gives a damn about that as long as the dads pay up their money.
And the bit about elderly mothers, wasn't this man 53 when the boys were born? It's not that old.
edited by Karl to shorten links: Operation cleanup!


 
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Old 17th-October-2007
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Re: I'm the Daddy...

Quote:
something he would not have been able to do legally in the UK
What does this mean? It's illegal to have surrogates in the UK?


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Old 17th-October-2007
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Re: I'm the Daddy...

I get the point of the article that illustrates that men can be just as effective as women in parenting their children alone. But the fact that the kids have no concept of Mom doesn't mean that it is necessarily right to plan families this way. This man is adapting to a system that is rigged to drive fathers away from families. He is not a model of what we all ought to become, in my opinion. I would rather have political rights restored to men and fathers, and the intact nuclear family restored. It's too bad that this is universally considered to be a pipe dream in the western world. All we have left is adaptation. Someday people will not even be able to start a family by finding surrogates in other western countries as this man did; men will simply have to move away from western countries altogether. That's where we're heading. Who knows how long it will take, but I doubt it will be very long. And when it does happen, will men adapt to accommodate the system yet again? Or will they shrug off the need to pursue the dream of a family, until society collapses under its own feminine weight?



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Old 17th-October-2007
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Re: I'm the Daddy...

Quote:
I get the point of the article that illustrates that men can be just as effective as women in parenting their children alone. But the fact that the kids have no concept of Mom doesn't mean that it is necessarily right to plan families this way. This man is adapting to a system that is rigged to drive fathers away from families. He is not a model of what we all ought to become, in my opinion. I would rather have political rights restored to men and fathers, and the intact nuclear family restored.
I agree. True, a man can do just as good a job raising a child on his own as a woman can, maybe even better, depending on the individual. However, neither situation, is the ideal environment to raise a child in.



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