Last Thursday, I decided to call the Tom Leykis show and ask him a question about marriage. For those who don't know my view on marriage, I think that it can be a positive thing if done outside a legal context. Government-recognized and government-licensed marriage that ends in divorce is always messy, and that's why private marriage (which government doesn't acknowledge) is the way to go, in order to avoid the trappings of family and divorce court. I wanted to mention my advocacy of private marriage to Tom, whose concept of marriage is only a legal one.

I managed to get on the show. It was the very last call of the hour, and Tom told me that I had only a minute to speak with him. So I tried to ask him about his opinion on the emotional benefits of marriage, aside from the legal pitfalls. I was trying to figure out what Tom's concept of marriage would be if the government was completely out of the picture; in that context -- a private marriage context -- would Tom say anything positive about marriage? I wanted to know if Tom's advocacy of "getting more ass than a toilet seat" was more important to him than monogamy, and if he saw any value in monogamy. I got my answer:

Leykis 101
Air date: October 30, 2008
http://podcast.971freefm.com/klsx1/1410355.mp3

Time index: 41:18

TOM: John is listening to our online stream in Sacramento, on the Tom Leykis Show. I've got a minute. Hello.

JOHN: Hey, Tom. I just want to be real quick. My question has to do with marriage. You always say that marriage is not beneficial to men whatsoever. On the legal standpoint, I totally agree with you, when a divorce happens and a man is ruined. But one benefit of marriage is the intimacy that you get with somebody that you grow to love over time.

TOM: You can grow to love somebody without signing a contract and having it approved by the state of California.

JOHN: Well, that's not what I'm asking. I'm asking, how do you compensate for the lack of intimacy that you have, when you live a Leykis 101 lifestyle? I notice that you've said, on several occasions, that you have a therapist. Is that the way that you do it?

TOM: I have therapy. But what I recommend more is having a circle of close friends -- people you've known for a long time, the kind of people you can talk to about anything. And if you have that, you don't need to do it with the person you're having sex with.

Looks like Tom believes that close friends can be -- and perhaps should be -- a good substitute for a wife. What do you guys think?