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  1. #1
    musicman.2's Avatar
    musicman.2 is offline Established Member
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    Do women like sexually submissive men?


    For women, “being desired is the orgasm,” Meana said somewhat metaphorically — it is, in her vision, at once the thing craved and the spark of craving. About the dynamic at “Zumanity” between the audience and the acrobats, Meana said the women in the crowd gazed at the women onstage, excitedly imagining that their bodies were as desperately wanted as those of the performers.

    ...

    The generally accepted therapeutic notion that, for women, incubating intimacy leads to better sex is, Meana told me, often misguided. “Really,” she said, “women’s desire is not relational, it’s narcissistic” — it is dominated by the yearnings of “self-love,” by the wish to be the object of erotic admiration and sexual need. Still on the subject of narcissism, she talked about research indicating that, in comparison with men, women’s erotic fantasies center less on giving pleasure and more on getting it. “When it comes to desire,” she added, “women may be far less relational than men.”


    NYT -- What do women want


    So do women apparently like submissive men? I thought about it more and then realized male sexuality might be equally selfish and I disagree with the last part of the article.


    Women like to be desired and men like to desire women. On the flip-side the same woman likes to please men and men like to be pleased by women making men want to be desire just in a different way.

    And this makes sense. In porn more oral sex is given to the male than the female. The most popular position is reverse cowgirl(probably) which allows a woman to be admired as a man gets a nice view while simultaneously she is the one pleasing him.

    What do you think about this theory?

  2. #2
    RebelliousVanilla's Avatar
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    I don't like sexually submissive men. If I'd like talking out of my ass, which is something that a lot of these people who talk about sexual behaviours do, I would say that my independence and desire for a success is an overcompensation of my craving for being subdued in bed. lol

    But again, this can be consensual with that woman's theory. MM, you have to understand the fact that if I crave being an object of sexual desire this means that I want the man to satisfy his desires with me, not really him pleasing me. If she believes that his behaviour comes from self-love and the desire to be desired, it doesn't mean that it has to be a direct issue, but rather indirect - and as a woman, I don't really enjoy straight forward things related to sexuality, but playing around.

    My 2 cents.

  3. #3
    shaazam's Avatar
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    what wimyn want from men is demonstrated in their applications to the Family Court - viz his assets his kids and continuing instalments extending into eternity

    whether he is submissive or not is irrelevant for her as she has no obligations that he can enforce on her anyway

    the marriage may last or not PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT - not her fault !!!

    she gets what counts from him in the end and there is another model just around the corner just as credulous

  4. #4
    Ledburian's Avatar
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    Spot on!

    I'm past caring what wimmin want, desire, like or don't like et cetera et cetera et cetera....I really don't care....I will still treat them as fellow human beings on a day to day basis in the normal course of each day that comes and goes. I go my own way, legally and above board, so wimmin can go theirs which in many cases means screwing up the lives of many other members of my gender...I don't want to know any more, and happiness really is mine.

    I listen to all those deluded wimmin who refer to all men who express the same feelings as I have above as "sad" or "losers" are simply reinforcing my opinion that wimmin can really be so arrogant and self obsessed if they think that men are quite incapable exisiting without womankind and independent from its clutches.

    How wrong can they be, and all those claims by them that men can't live without women but women can do so quite happily is all pie in the sky in my opinion.

  5. #5
    RebelliousVanilla's Avatar
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    Actually I consider men who go their way and want to achieve their own happiness more attractive than men who believe they should please women and pamper them. And men can live without women just as much women live without men.

  6. #6
    Garak's Avatar
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    Quote Quote from RebelliousVanilla View Post
    Actually I consider men who go their way and want to achieve their own happiness more attractive than men who believe they should please women and pamper them. And men can live without women just as much women live without men.
    Of course, women want a man they can change, a man who already sucks up to them is boring.

    It is a challenge to get a man who won't chase you. This is why nice guys finish last.

  7. #7
    Garak's Avatar
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    what wimyn want from men is demonstrated in their applications to the Family Court - viz his assets his kids and continuing instalments extending into eternity
    I have noticed that women use kids as a fulfillment. Kids are people that women can control and change to their liking.

  8. #8
    RebelliousVanilla's Avatar
    RebelliousVanilla is offline Established Member
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    Quote Quote from Garak View Post
    Of course, women want a man they can change, a man who already sucks up to them is boring.

    It is a challenge to get a man who won't chase you. This is why nice guys finish last.
    No, the nice guys finish last because they usually have boundary problems and emotional issues that they want to fix through a relationship. Nice is a misused term, just like obese people say they're curvy.

  9. #9
    Garak's Avatar
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    Quote Quote from RebelliousVanilla View Post
    No, the nice guys finish last because they usually have boundary problems and emotional issues that they want to fix through a relationship. Nice is a misused term, just like obese people say they're curvy.

    No, nice guys finish last because women don't respect them and tend to see them more as friends than lovers.

    Boundary problems and emotional issues?

  10. #10
    musicman.2's Avatar
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    Quote Quote from RebelliousVanilla View Post
    I don't like sexually submissive men. If I'd like talking out of my ass, which is something that a lot of these people who talk about sexual behaviours do, I would say that my independence and desire for a success is an overcompensation of my craving for being subdued in bed. lol

    But again, this can be consensual with that woman's theory. MM, you have to understand the fact that if I crave being an object of sexual desire this means that I want the man to satisfy his desires with me, not really him pleasing me. If she believes that his behaviour comes from self-love and the desire to be desired, it doesn't mean that it has to be a direct issue, but rather indirect - and as a woman, I don't really enjoy straight forward things related to sexuality, but playing around.

    My 2 cents.
    If he has to subdue it involves him pleasing you if he's doing all the work. The person who does the work is the submissive one while the other sits back and receives the pleasure. I believe deep down women want to be desired but men want to be pleased. When men become the pretty ones and women become the one wanting more sexual pleasure than they give it probably won't last. But its pretty boring for only one person to be desired all the time. Its like one way lust.

  11. #11
    RebelliousVanilla's Avatar
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    Quote Quote from Garak View Post
    No, nice guys finish last because women don't respect them and tend to see them more as friends than lovers.

    Boundary problems and emotional issues?
    You have no understanding of psychology and I suggest you should read a book(you told me you don't do this much) about how things work, instead of preaching fallacies.

    MM, women who don't move and just lay there are in the same class as premature ejaculators and men who can't keep a rhythm to save their lives.

  12. #12
    Garak's Avatar
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    Quote Quote from RebelliousVanilla View Post
    You have no understanding of psychology and I suggest you should read a book(you told me you don't do this much) about how things work, instead of preaching fallacies.

    MM, women who don't move and just lay there are in the same class as premature ejaculators and men who can't keep a rhythm to save their lives.
    I read alot, just not out of books. You are feeding me psychobabble and chose not to explain yourself.

    I'll tell you what, most of the men here have tried being the "nice guy" and learned a few things along the way. Why don't we just see how many agree with your psychobabble* and how many do not.

    *You could strengthen your case by explaining your psychobabble instead of telling others to go read a book.

  13. #13
    musicman.2's Avatar
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    Quote Quote from Garak View Post
    I read alot, just not out of books. You are feeding me psychobabble and chose not to explain yourself.

    I'll tell you what, most of the men here have tried being the "nice guy" and learned a few things along the way. Why don't we just see how many agree with your psychobabble* and how many do not.

    *You could strengthen your case by explaining your psychobabble instead of telling others to go read a book.

    Who taught us to be the nice guy? Probably our mothers? i mean honestly taking advice from one's mother on how to act in dating is ridiculous.

  14. #14
    Feckless's Avatar
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    Quote Quote from musicman.2 View Post
    Who taught us to be the nice guy? Probably our mothers? i mean honestly taking advice from one's mother on how to act in dating is ridiculous.
    Media as well I´d say...when I started dating it seems I picked up a lot of stuff out of american television. Wow that sounds really sad. I had no one telling me to respect girls or to be a nice guy. Kudos to my parents.
    The men's and fathers' movement needs to make sure it never sees females as the enemy,
    but only misandry--whether from females or from males.
    If not, we'll become like the bigoted feminists that this movement was formed to oppose.
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  15. #15
    Garak's Avatar
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    Re: Do women like sexually submissive men?

    Quote Quote from Feckless View Post
    Media as well I´d say...when I started dating it seems I picked up a lot of stuff out of american television. Wow that sounds really sad. I had no one telling me to respect girls or to be a nice guy. Kudos to my parents.
    Yep, for years we have told that women want "sensitive men" and so most boys grow up trying to be just that.

    Turns out, women didn't like it and they want to blame it on men (nothing new about that). Some women even want to apply some psychobabble to the blaming of men.


 

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