I found this gem here:
http://steviearticles.easyjournal.com/

Cruel To Be Kind

I just got back from making HB Y cry. I feel like a bastard for having to do it, but I know deep down it was what was necessary and what was needed. She showed me non-verbally it was what she wanted. Let me explain.

The past few days I sensed she was not 100% paying me the attention I require. She was not really listening when I spoke to her. In the past I would have got all weak and asked her "what's wrong". But that hardly ever works and by naming it as something wrong it creates that reality in her mind. Just like Major Mark says, "Naming something makes it real. Describing it brings it to life." Well fuck naming the problem, and having her describe it to me, and thereby bringing it to life. No way. There is a better way and this is what I had to go for.

I left her place and cut off contact with her for two days. I ignored her calls, ignored her text messages, and ignored her emails. She got increasingly worried and later told me she wondered if I'd been in an accident. Then after a lot of ignoring her I finally answered her call this evening and turned the tables. I told her it seemed that she wanted to have some space and I wanted to give that to her because I wanted her to be happy.

She denied wanting space and I said perhaps I'd imagined it but she seemed not happy with me recently and I didn't want to be the cause of that unhappiness and if I am the cause of it then it is better if we are not together, because all I want is for her to be happy. She started crying and asking what I was talking about. The plan was working and later, after we met, she almost thanked me for forcing this issue.

She was all tears on the phone because I had pulled a mind fuck. I showed a willingness to walk away, thus increasing my value. I knew it would work because she had been calling me so much and wanting to find out if I was ok. And by making it all apparently about making HER happy, she didn't know how to mentally-process the mind fuck. I said maybe I was imagining it all and she asked if we could meet. I met her near the train station 45 minutes later.

She was sitting there with tears in her eyes. I made sure not to talk too much. I wanted to gather information on her state and wanted her to be unsure of what I was feeling. I made sure not to show if I was happy or unhappy to see her. I was very emotionless outwardly. I said hi, sat next to her and resisted the urge to hold her or comfort her. I took her hand and led her away to a quieter location where she could cry without people seeing her because I knew she would cry more when I put her through a roller coaster of emotions of loss and regaining happiness.

I played with her head a bit more and told her it was all her fault for not sharing her fears and worries with me and I can't help her if she doesn't share them. Everyone has worries and therefore she went inside and found the feelings to attach to that word. She agreed she had not shared all her worries and I told her I can only help her and we can only be together in a proper relationship if she opens up more and shared her feelings with me, otherwise she will be unhappy and I don't want to have that kind of person in my life. She held me and promised to be more open and her sobs turned to tears of joy as we shared a special moment and a new beginning to the relationship.

I engineered the whole thing, but it was good for her and she feels closer to me now. She also has learned I will walk away from her and that increased my value. It increases my influence over her as well. I had to be cruel to be kind and it felt good.

Such a reverse of what usually happens in western relationships.