The Concepts are simple, Children need BOTH Parents...
This is a discussion on The Concepts are simple, Children need BOTH Parents... within the Chit chat (MAIN) forums, part of the General category; My Custody & Domestic Violence Web Pages are Intended for the Expressed intent of Education and betterment of Divorced Parents.
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My Custody & Domestic Violence Web Pages are Intended for the Expressed intent of Education and betterment of Divorced Parents.
The Content and Concepts contained herein are Adult in Nature.
The Concepts are simple, Children need BOTH Parents.
If you consider the information contained herein as Harassment, then turn back now!
For longer than I can remember, Men have always held the title of the 'Abuser'. That was until I became a victim of Domestic Violence myself.
In all of the years that that I can remember seeing ads on TV for Domestic Violence, NEVER ONCE have I seen an Ad from a Woman claiming to be the abuser. Also, Since I have become aware of the phrase 'Domestic Violence', I have NEVER SEEN a Shelter specifically for men. Why do you think that is? Think about it.
In an effort to help to tip the scales of justice back toward the middle of the road (which is where it should be if we are going to be adults and attempt to raise children, run businesses ....). Too often it is the Man that is depicted as the initiator in Domestic Violence. Too often the woman initiates it, and gets away with it.
These pages are not intended to tell my story but to give to you the reader the information you may be looking for on Domestic Violence. Most of this page was developed from postings from the Family Guardian Journal's Internet Mailing List. ALL of it can be considered credible.
Have you seen this DV AD?
Pitt Psychologist Says Women First to Hit!
by Lynne Margolis
Conventional wisdom says that in cases of domestic violence, men attack and women are victims. But a University of Pittsburgh psychologist believes it may be the other way around- that women hit first, and men hit back because they're provoked.
Irene Frieze, a Pitt professor who teaches human sexuality and the psychology of gender, says her studies of domestic violence show that much of it begins during dating, and that the women is often the aggressor. While that type of violence is considered "low-level" - slaps, pushes or kicks - Frieze says she believes such actions "get the whole thing started."
"I'm worried that eventually, he's going to start fighting back," she said Wednesday after the university released a description of her work. Her findings were based on a survey of 300 college students conducted three to five years ago. Frieze said she could not cite specific dates for the survey.
Frieze found that when violence was defined as any use of physical force in the context of disagreement, two-thirds of the students reported some violence in their dating relationship. Both males and females reported women were more violent than men in those relationships, Frieze said.
"Some of these women are acting in this way with extreme confidence that they can get away with it," Frieze said. But if a women smacks her boyfriend around enough, Frieze said, he may eventually get tired of it and get mean.
"We're conditioned to think that men do this to women," Frieze said, noting she began the study be because she was skeptical of reports that women start the violence. Those who deal with the victims of domestic violence strongly disagree with Frieze.
"I've have never known of a situation where two consenting adults have agreed to hit each other," said Nardi Obarski, prevention education coordinator for the Center for Victims of Violent Crime in the Strip District. "Violence has escalated in the last few years. I don't know that there's a specific trend that women are inviting it ... I have a great deal of trouble with that," Obarski said.
She said she worries Frieze's theory might fuel men's claims that they're justified. Frequently, Obarski said, a man will tell a women if she would only do as he instructs her, he wouldn't have to hit her, which makes her believe it's her fault.
Marty Friday, executive director of the Women's Center and Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh, agreed. "Domestic Violence is a whole pattern of behavior where one person is controlling another and it can take many forms," she said. "... It's not just a push and slap, it's a pattern of behavior where one person is coercing the other to commit some behavior against their will."
There is a big difference between a women's defensive aggression and men's violent behavior, Friday said. "(Women precipitating the violence) is definitely not our experience, and we talk to over 11,000 women a year and work with 6,000 women a year in the court system."
While noting police sometimes arrest both parties in cases of domestic violence, she added, "in saying that woman are provoking it, that's where it becomes important to define domestic violence or what we call intimate partner violence."
Women often believe they provoked and will say they are responsible for it even when they're not, Friday said. And while she may hit first, there's no reference in the study for what he may have been doing, such as dangling car keys in her face and then pulling them away or similar taunting.
"I don't want to minimize, either, someone hitting someone," Friday said. But she added it's hard to equate the kind of violence men perpetrate against women with the kind of violence Frieze says women commit. "What we define as domestic violence, the perpetrators are overwhelmingly male," Friday said. "Occasionally, we hear that young women are more violent than they used to be, but there's no documentation of that."
Even Frieze admitted the situation she discusses the issue with don't take it seriously because it's not severe violence. "There is rarely any injury ... at least in the initial stages," she said. But she reported women have told her low-level violence "makes them feel stronger in the relationship." "Some relationships stay at that low level and nothing seems to happen," Frieze said. "But in some relationships, it seems to build and build and build." While she has no evidence that severe violence is precipitated by low level violence, Frieze said she hopes to get funding to do a longitudinal study, in which people are followed over time for a more complete picture of their behavior.
6th-June-2006
