Ever notice how women drive shopping trolleys in much the same way as they drive cars?

I was reminded of this today on my way round my local supermarket. I turned a corner and suddenly became aware of a huge cluster of trolleys congregated in a great road-block (or maybe that should be an aisle-block?) a little way in front of me. My first thought was maybe there had been an accident and everyone had crowded round to see, or perhaps one of those in-store demonstrations where somebody hands out free samples of something you wouldn't normally buy, but everyone wants to grab just because it is free.

But no. When I looked closer, I saw that the congestion had been created by two laden trolleys, placed adroitly in just the correct position to block the entire width of what was actually a pretty wide aisle. Each had a woman at the helm, and the two of them were gassing away to each other in a non-stop torrent. And the astonishing thing is that they were utterly, utterly oblivious to the chaos they had caused around them, and the crowds of people trying to squeeze past. They were just completely absorbed in each other's yap.

I have developed quite a skill for avoiding things female that I don't want to be troubled by, so I deftly doubled back, took a detour around a quieter section ticking a few more items off my shopping list as I went, and emerged on the far side of road block. So the two gasbags were now behind me; but no change - they were still at it, yakking at each other and totally ignoring the train of trolleys trying to get through from both directions. I did wonder why nobody said anything to them, or tried grabbing them and knocking their silly heads together, or maybe using their trolleys as targets for polishing up their ramming skills; but I guess everyone was too polite. Or maybe they were all smart enough to realise it would have been completely futile. I dare say you could have strapped the two megamouths to a rocket and fired it off into space without them noticing.

But isn't that a telling difference between the sexes? You would never get two men behaving like that. That's because men are considerate and are very conscious of whether they are causing an obstruction or not. If two men with trolleys bump into each other around a supermarket and want a chat, they will move to one side and leave a gap to allow others to pass. And if they still caused a hold-up, they would notice pretty damn quickly and move out of the way.

I mentioned the parallel with driving - and parking - cars. Oh yes, I am going to talk about women and parking.

Another anecdote from my past. I used to work several floors up in a block that overlooked the back entrance of a row of other offices. One of them was used by some women's organisation. It had a smallish yard at the back of the building, enough to park about a dozen cars. I had an excellent view of the comings and goings of the cars being driven in and out by these women.

On the first day I noticed anything happening, I saw a car pull into the yard and park slap bang in the middle of it, at a crazy angle. The female driver got out and went into the building. I assumed she would be the only person using the yard, so it didn't matter where she left the car. But a few minutes later, a second car arrived, parked at a different angle just where it happened to stop, and the female driver also got out and entered the building. Then a third, just the same. This went on for a while until about six cars had arrived. By now, they had filled the yard in some kind of abstract mosaic pattern, all at different, random angles just as they had been driven in. I did say there was space for about a dozen cars; that is to say there would have been if they had parked logically, in lines against the walls and leaving space in the middle for others to manoeuvre - like men would have done. But not these ladies. No sirree. No sign of logic, order or thought about how later arrivals might get in or out; just an abandonment of their vehicles in whatever part of the yard they could most easily drive into and stop without getting too near to any other vehicle or a wall, or executing any fiendishly tricky manoeuvre like straightening up or reversing.

But if avoiding the tricky manoeuvre was their intention, they had not applied much forethought. The next hapless lady to arrive couldn't get into the yard, because the last genius in front of her had left her car blocking the entrance. So she got out of her car and went into the building. A couple of minutes later, about four of them spilled out again with their keys in hand, got into their vehicles and started to move them about in order to create some space.

The next few minutes were a hilarious cross between a kind of slow-motion waltz on wheels and an excerpt from the Keystone Cops. If only I had had a video camera. On several occasions a woman would get out of her car, walk around it as if measuring distances and angles, then get back in and proceed to demonstrate that she had not understood the foggiest of either. If they had six feet in which to move, they would edge two and then get out to check if they were about to hit anything. Reversing while turning was clearly an esoteric art that could only be guessed at, as was use of wing mirrors. I expect they wondered what they were there for, since you could not possibly see yourself in them.

Eventually all the cars got into the yard without mishap, but they were still all blocking one another in a kaleidoscope of crazy angles.

I got back to my work and the day passed until about 3 p.m., when it was clearly the end of the ladies' working day. Out came the one who had been first to arrive that morning, and whose car was therefore...yes, you guessed it, completely surrounded by the others so she couldn't move. Back in she went, to emerge a few minutes later with a gaggle of women, all laughing and chattering, to tackle this daunting task of clearing the cars. They eventually worked out that the last one in would have to be the first one out, and so on. At this point I have to take my hat off to them; once they had got the hang of how to do it, they got that yard cleared in no more than about five minutes. I guess they must have had some kind of incentive to move quickly that simply wasn't present when they were arriving for work at the start of the day. I wonder what it could have been.

But here is the real point. To have had one day of such chaos would have been bad enough, if only they had learned from it and sorted themselves out properly the next day. But they didn't. Next day was exactly the same; I kid you not. So was the next day; and the next. Every day was the same. Every day saw the reign of insanity tighten its grip in that yard. Now whether that was due to none of these ladies having the technical skill to place their cars into neat lines against the wall at right angles to it; or whether they simply lacked the simple thought processes that would have told them that was the way to do it, I know not. I stopped working there after a few weeks, but on the day I left I looked out into the yard one last time, and saw the same random parking pattern. Nothing had changed. It might still be the same today, for all I know.

There is a serious point to this. The parking of the cars and the trolleys tells us something very important about the workings of the female brain. Don't let anyone ever tell you the male and female brains work the same way; oh no they don't. A group of men would never park either cars or trolleys the way those women did, and we all know it. So what possible conclusion can we reach other than that men's brains pay attention to logic, order and reason, taking into account the needs of others, applying foresight to solve problems or prevent them arising, and learning from their mistakes; while women's brains are engulfed in chaos, apply the most immediate short-term expedient to any problem, have no consideration for others or thought for the future, and don't learn from their mistakes?

I guess that is what women refer to as multi-tasking. I prefer the term scatter-brained, as more accurate and descriptive. I also prefer the male approach of concentrating on the matter in hand and solving it properly, so you don't have to keep doing it over and over again.

For both cars and shopping carts, add cellphones into the mix. I tell you, people are reckless when pushing carts while yapping!

Yes, I've noticed that some of my fellow women don't mind using a supermarket aisle as a place to congregate and socialize. Irritates me, because typically they're blocking access to something I want!

On the subject of cars and shopping carts (I'm American), I've been hit by both while out shopping. And every time it happens without fail the "driver" is always female and absolutely refuses to admit she's done anything wrong.

The only time I got an apology was when an elderly lady accidentally backed into me with her car, but that's only because she was from a different generation than most of the idiots out walking around now.

I was in a car accident almost two years ago...some woman cut me off extremely short making an improper left turn. At least she told the cop what she'd done, and I heard him telling her, "You can't do that!"

I had my son with me too. Thankfully no one was hurt, but I had to have my passenger side headlights replaced.

One time I had this woman behind me yapping on the phone and trying to write something down too! Driving is not a good time to multitask!

I spent a few minutes trying to figure out what a "shopping trolley" was. In the USA, a trolley is a streetcar run on electricity, as in, "I took the Number 11 trolley into town today."

Anyway, I don't know how to drive an automobile/car, so there is no comparison for me as a female.

What I hate is when I get one of those shopping carts that has something wrong with the wheels, so that it keeps veering toward the left or the right!

down here we got homeless people that have shopping carts mostly
a few years back I saw soem homeless people drag racing shopping carts