I can !

I lived for three 8 -11 years in a sort of a home for boys and the matron there used to walk around with a strap under her leather belt

she never felt disinclined to belt us for small infractions of discipline - she always gave lectures on obedience

has anybody seen that movie Matilda - she was not unlike that virago school teacher in appearance and demeanour

one day I was caught stealing outta the pantry and sentenced to a flogging all the age of 10

I was literally black and blue and my body served as a warning to other boys about disobedience

later she came up to me and said

""my name - don't tell your mother- you wouldn't want to get into any more trouble"

that was Miss Purser the psychopathic house ""mother ""
of my tender prepubescent years

something good came outta it as I learned about the core ingredient of most wimyn - spite !!!

Quote from musicman.2

Does anyone else notice how boys get less affection but more punishment? Studies have verified this as well.

Sure, I think this dynamic is pretty much universal. It's a microcosm of society, particularly analogous to the two-tier system of punishment divided along gender lines.

Quote from musicman.2

Does anyone else notice how boys get less affection but more punishment? Studies have verified this as well.

Yes, by and far, that is exactly how it is.....With most "people", even a good deal of men show limited afection to boys.

Quote from shaazam

I can !

I lived for three 8 -11 years in a sort of a home for boys and the matron there used to walk around with a strap under her leather belt

she never felt disinclined to belt us for small infractions of discipline - she always gave lectures on obedience

has anybody seen that movie Matilda - she was not unlike that virago school teacher in appearance and demeanour

one day I was caught stealing outta the pantry and sentenced to a flogging all the age of 10

I was literally black and blue and my body served as a warning to other boys about disobedience

later she came up to me and said

""my name - don't tell your mother- you wouldn't want to get into any more trouble"

that was Miss Purser the psychopathic house ""mother ""
of my tender prepubescent years

something good came outta it as I learned about the core ingredient of most wimyn - spite !!!

That's horrible, Shaaz....to have had such experiences and at such a tender, vulnerable age.

But how old are you now? And after all the time that has passed between then (those nightmare years) and today, you still think most women are that spiteful at their core? Surely this is an exaggeration. You know most women are not like the psychopathic woman you described.

I can understand how that woman could have left a lasting imprint on your psyche long after the stinging imprints on your physical body healed and went away. My own dad used to beat me. I was two years old the first time that I can remember him doing that. But I love my dad....always have. Always will. Had to learn to let some things go, ya know. I don't think that all or most men have "anger management" issues at their core just because my father did.

What a world it would be to believe that most women are wickedly spiteful and most men are wickedly angry...

I can't, won't, let that be my reality. Besides...I've looked long and hard enough for years for evidence to the contrary...(that humankind is actually GOOD)- and I have found evidence of that fact over and over again. I try to make a point to remember...for future recall... when I get to thinking that humanity is just a big pile of **** because it goes that way in my head sometimes.

It is a general perception, MM, and there is a lot of anecdotal evidence.

At my school, boys would get the strap regularly ( I know I did, until I took to truanting !) while the girls were given detention.

A 'Study' would help to pin down the difference but I do not know of one.

I never hit my children although I sometimes growled ! (I didn't bite them either)

I've got hit with a wooden ruler over my palms and I couldn't hold shit in my hands for a while. I guess this shit is valid only for the other side of the Iron Curtain.

Quote from Percy

It is a general perception, MM, and there is a lot of anecdotal evidence.

At my school, boys would get the strap regularly ( I know I did, until I took to truanting !) while the girls were given detention.

A 'Study' would help to pin down the difference but I do not know of one.

I never hit my children although I sometimes growled ! (I didn't bite them either)

According to wikipedia physical punishment is actually a lot less likely to work on boys than girls so science basically says this is ridiculous in the first place.

MM this sounds good enough to be featured. Say do you have data at hand? I am pretty sure boys are more likely to be hit, with the wiki article at hand this would make a good standalone article.....willing to write one?

When my son was a baby, and as he grew into a toddler and older, he was especially cuddled and snuggled by me. But then, his personality was such that he enjoyed that. He was an affectionate child.

True anecdote: My busy-body mother-in-law used to admonish me for holding him and snuggling him so much. She said if I didn't stop it, I'd turn him into a "mama's boy.." whatever that means. I didn't listen to her. She had five unruly kids (three boys, two girls) of her own so what sort of expert was she? (This was my thought at that time.) And I'm glad I didn't take her stupid advice. My son is 20 now...and he had lots of affection and cuddling, hugs, kisses...and he's a very "manly" man. He's ALL "boy."

Mother-in-law's hypothesis was quite wrong.

So is her attitude a common one for older generations to have toward boys? She's definitely NOT a feminist...about as far from one as a woman could be.

Interestingly, all her boys grew into men with serious problems that continue to this day. She withheld affection from all three of them, and today they have interpersonal problems, continuous legal issues, can't hold down jobs, anger-management issues, and drug/alcohol addictions.

Nature, or nurture, I wonder?

Quote from TERA

When my son was a baby, and as he grew into a toddler and older, he was especially cuddled and snuggled by me. But then, his personality was such that he enjoyed that. He was an affectionate child.

True anecdote: My busy-body mother-in-law used to admonish me for holding him and snuggling him so much. She said if I didn't stop it, I'd turn him into a "mama's boy.." whatever that means. I didn't listen to her. She had five unruly kids (three boys, two girls) of her own so what sort of expert was she? (This was my thought at that time.) And I'm glad I didn't take her stupid advice. My son is 20 now...and he had lots of affection and cuddling, hugs, kisses...and he's a very "manly" man. He's ALL "boy."

Mother-in-law's hypothesis was quite wrong.

So is her attitude a common one for older generations to have toward boys? She's definitely NOT a feminist...about as far from one as a woman could be.

Interestingly, all her boys grew into men with serious problems that continue to this day. She withheld affection from all three of them, and today they have interpersonal problems, continuous legal issues, can't hold down jobs, anger-management issues, and drug/alcohol addictions.

Nature, or nurture, I wonder?

Both boy's and girl's need being cuddled and i try to do that as often as possible,and it does not turn boy's into mama's boy's, tell the old witch where to go,also children will let you know when they have outgrown the cuddle stage,some do not outgrow it and even as late teen's and twenty's my girls come for a cuddle,and the back's tickled.

As far as boy's getting less positive attention,i see this around me,i not only cuddle my son when he want's it,it is also good for me,and when i want it.

Quote from musicman.2

Does anyone else notice how boys get less affection but more punishment? Studies have verified this as well.

An you wonder why some boys grow up to become ruthless!

Quote from TERA

True anecdote: My busy-body mother-in-law used to admonish me for holding him and snuggling him so much. She said if I didn't stop it, I'd turn him into a "mama's boy.." whatever that means. I didn't listen to her. She had five unruly kids (three boys, two girls) of her own so what sort of expert was she? (This was my thought at that time.) And I'm glad I didn't take her stupid advice. My son is 20 now...and he had lots of affection and cuddling, hugs, kisses...and he's a very "manly" man. He's ALL "boy."

Mother-in-law's hypothesis was quite wrong.

So is her attitude a common one for older generations to have toward boys? She's definitely NOT a feminist...about as far from one as a woman could be.

Tera, my grandma (mom's side) told my mother almost the exact thing. "That boys need to have the hardness of life beaten into them."

I asked my uncles what it was like growing up with Grandma, and they all hated her. Not just for hitting them for every little thing they did, but for letting her daughters practically get away with murder without so much as a chiding.

If you think I'm exaggerating; one of my aunts once threw a pitchfork at my uncle and deeply grazed his leg.

Her punishment? Not a damn thing.

He rather pissed off, and righteously so if you ask me, hit her for trying to hurt him like that on purpose.

My grandma beat him so bad he couldn't sit or lie down without pain for the rest of the week.

I don't think its ever equal and definitley not ever reversed. Men have more shit to deal with from birth. All parents probably love the females more.

If you look at most marriages the husband is the affectionate one. A woman's idea of being affectionate is being open to the man's affection. You will never find a couple where it is equal and definitely never where it is reversed.