Argh! When people won't listen.

**onegirl** · 30th-September-2008

I have a friend at work. Recently her son's gf kicked him out of the house. The have two kids, one is seven (hers from a previous relationship and they share a two year old). She cleaned out all the bank accounts and he suspects she is having an affair.... And she is making herself perfectly clear that she intends to be as vicious and controlling as possible.

So my friend thinks he is going to get joint custody for sure and perhaps sole custody... Phffft! As IF!

I explain to her that the chances of that happening is slim to none. She says "That is not right, Kaden is his biological son and the courts cannot do that unless she can prove he is unfit". Um, NO. That is not how the court system works.

This is a woman I have confided in many times about the unfairness of the court system when it comes to fathers (relating our experiences).

I mentioned that my husband got SUPERVISED visitation and so did his mother (who I have mentioned worked for the Dept of Child Services at the time). The friend says "No, the courts would never do that unless she could prove that the father was unfit, etc".

Ok, now I am getting pissed off. She is essentially calling me a liar and saying that my husband must have been proved and unfit father!!!

Which is BS!!!! She kept his son away from him intentionally for as long as she could so she could claim "the child does not know him".

This is what I have suspected. People refuse to see that the court system is so blatantly unjust towards fathers. When they hear a story like my husbands they think we must be "leaving something out".

I am sick of the phase "That does not sound right" when it comes to the injustices fathers face in court. Yah, it does not sound right because it is not right.

**Marx** · 30th-September-2008

Wait until one of her male relatives go through the mill. She'll learn, too late of course, but she will learn.

**onegirl** · 30th-September-2008

Quote from Marx

Wait until one of her male relatives go through the mill. She'll learn, too late of course, but she will learn.

Unfortunately, she is about to witness her son get screwed...

I sent her a copy of "The Disenfrachised Father" but she did not seem interested.

I think her view is about to change. Wait til she finds out just how difficult it is going to be to see her grandchild... After all, her side of the family does not really exist anymore in the eyes of the law when it comes to the child (except to financially support the whore, of course)...

**onegirl** · 30th-September-2008

This woman JUST kicked him out and has already had a friend call her (his mother) posing as a "lawyer" and "instructing her" to tell him "he better do this and that if he knows what is good for him"...

This is going to be BAD.

**onegirl** · 30th-September-2008

Oh, and she is already saying stuff like "Well, if you don't love me, the mother of your child, I guess you don't love your son, then".

What the hell makes women think that men will automatically love them because they have children together?

**Marx** · 30th-September-2008

Who's to say he doesn't love her?

**MadShangi** · 30th-September-2008

I've had this conversation a lot. The attitude you're getting from your friend is not uncommon. I don't know what it is, maybe to them what they're hearing is so incredible they don't want to believe it. A girl once told me that "custody would only go to the mother if the father was seen as unfit." Yeah. Bullshit. She also followed that golden nugget with, "And if you don't like it, stop your bitching and get over it."

**onegirl** · 30th-September-2008

Quote from Marx

Who's to say he doesn't love her?

I don't know whether or not he loves her. She was the one who said this. Personally, I think it is irrelevant whether or not he loves her. That has nothing to do with whether or not he loves his child.

**onegirl** · 30th-September-2008

Quote from MadShangi

I've had this conversation a lot. The attitude you're getting from your friend is not uncommon. I don't know what it is, maybe to them what they're hearing is so incredible they don't want to believe it. A girl once told me that "custody would only go to the mother if the father was seen as unfit." Yeah. Bullshit. She also followed that golden nugget with, "And if you don't like it, stop your bitching and get over it."

Women who say stuff like that make me screamy.

**Incognito** · 30th-September-2008

When people "won't listen" they often eventually join the ranks of those who have learned "the hard way."

**Percy** · 30th-September-2008

Women who say stuff like that make me screamy.

An insight into how men feel. Not that men feel anything of course. We don't have feelings.

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

**onegirl** · 30th-September-2008

Quote from TERA

When people "won't listen" they often eventually join the ranks of those who have learned "the hard way."

Yes, but many people may not have a "personal" experience with the injustice of the family court system. If those people could be enlightened perhaps they would join in the fight... If only they recognized that their sons, brothers, and grandsons were so vulnerable when it comes to children and family.

**Incognito** · 30th-September-2008

Agreed, Onegirl.

**Stan** · 30th-September-2008

Quote from TERA

When people "won't listen" they often eventually join the ranks of those who have learned "the hard way."

A related observation. Part of how I cope with what I personally experienced is by helping others in these sorts of situations. And I now talk much more about what I have been through with those in my life, some in my clubs and so forth. Most are supportive but you don't really know what they think as well as you may have assumed.

A few times a year I get those calls where I get to say "I told you so" in a friendly manner.

Case in point was that sexual harassment guy some of you may have read my post about. When he ran into that situation he called me and was like "You were right" and so forth.

People don't TRULY believe it until they experience some rough things for themselves. Maybe it is easier to just pretend there are no monsters in the closet.