Amy talks Dirty

**Percy** · 29th-July-2009

Amy Alkon gets it.

Carly Simon sang - "You always answer my questions / but they don't always answer my prayers".

Amy shows what different things men and women pray for !

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/porn-women-don-2465494-whether-see

I checked my boyfriend's online history (OK, invaded his privacy) and saw he'd been looking up porn all day yesterday and the day before while home with the flu. I freaked! We'd talked about porn before. He said he watched it in his younger days, but didn't anymore, so I was surprised. I confronted him, and he said he'd been bored and curious, but doesn't watch porn regularly. I don't know whether I believe him. I've heard people get addicted to porn. Beyond that, there are the unrealistic images of women. The fact that he initially lied makes me worry he has a problem.
–Smut Patrol

You thought you'd come home, ask what your poor sick bunny did all day, and learn that he was weak and feverish, but not too weak and feverish to spend eight hours straight picking out a ring and poring over all the great wedding gifts on Tiffany's Web site.

Whoops...it seems he was actually on the other Tiffany's site -- watching and rewatching "Tiffany Gives Heidi Her Sponge Bath."

Yeah, right...he only watched porn in his "younger days" – like last week, when he was approximately five days younger. And then, wouldn't you know it, he got "bored and curious," as in, "Yawn...I wonder what really enormous fake breasts look like."

Bored? Sure. Curious? Right. What is he, an 8-year-old who has yet to hack through the parental controls on Mommy's laptop?

Actually, he's a man, with male sexuality, which evolved to be highly visual and variety-driven, probably because the more indiscriminate sex a guy had, the more likely he was to pass on his genes. Because women get pregnant and saddled with the kids, they evolved to be choosy and seek men who show a willingness to commit.

Erotica targeted to each sex plays out along these lines, notes evolutionary psychologist Catherine Salmon. While men have nudie porn, women have commitment porn – the romance novel – with equally "unrealistic images" of male behavior.

Yet, you don't see men picketing the Harlequin rack at the grocery store, complaining that women will expect a dark, imposing prince to ride up on a white horse, pledge his everlasting love (while revealing some seriously ripped abs), and carry them back to his castle.

If you want the truth about porn, ask your boyfriend whether he prefers naughty nurses to other naked professionals.

Because male and female sexual psychologies are largely at odds, men hide their porn consumption while women hide their more female-centric pastimes – like loading their photo and their boyfriend's into morphthing.com to see what the children would look like.

Porn, like anything that rings bells in the brain's pleasure center, can be addictive, but suspecting the guy's addicted merely because he watches it is like suspecting he's addicted to food because he ate a double cheeseburger.

OK, so he watched porn for two days straight while home with the flu. If he's always out with "the flu," yet his only symptoms are a really bad case of carpal tunnel and being too weak to have sex with you, that's when you start worrying.

Regardless, you don't get to paw through his Internet history. Figure out whether you're getting your needs met, and if you aren't, tell him, and see whether he'll do something to change that.

Remember, there are men who never look at porn. You'll find them where all the rapists are rich and handsome and where nobody ever gets knocked up by the bus driver; in other words, wherever books like Harlequin's "Billionaire Prince, Pregnant Mistress" and "Pregnant with the Billionaire's Baby" are sold.

**RebelliousVanilla** · 29th-July-2009

The guy was fucking sick and laying in bed. What did she expect him to do? Watch "A street car named Desire" like me? lol. Let the guy be and do what he wants.

When I'll be in a serious relationship, I'll sign a paper that allowed my lover to shoot me if I get jealous on frigging porn!

EDIT:

WTF? Morphthing sucks. Eric Dane is hot and I can't say I'm ugly and the damn thing produced that monster.

**julie** · 30th-July-2009

Amy Alkon gets it.

That's debatable.

The girl who asked for advice will never ask again.

**Celtic Druid** · 30th-July-2009

Quote from RebelliousVanilla

WTF? Morphthing sucks. Eric Dane is hot and I can't say I'm ugly and the damn thing produced that monster.

RV, you're seriously stretching the late-teen look with you're puffy-faced optimism that wouldn't look out of place for a 25 year-old.

**RebelliousVanilla** · 30th-July-2009

Quote from Celtic Druid

RV, you're seriously stretching the late-teen look with you're puffy-faced optimism that wouldn't look out of place for a 25 year-old.

It was a joke. And I'm 19. I am a teenager. lol.

And saying that I'm not ugly is just stating the obvious. You should accuse me for that, not some other made up shit.

**nevosopelo** · 30th-July-2009

The man was taking his medicine for a quick cure to his illness.

Every time I get a flu or anything else, I'll have as much sex as I can!

Why?

Because sex stimulates the body's immune response system to resist disease by spurring leukocytes in the blood stream.

NEVO

**RebelliousVanilla** · 30th-July-2009

Quote from nevosopelo

The man was taking his medicine for a quick cure to his illness.

Every time I get a flu or anything else, I'll have as much sex as I can!

Why?

Because sex stimulates the body's immune response system to resist disease by spurring leukocytes in the blood stream.

NEVO

Here sex is called the poor man's aspirin. lol

**PokemonMasterTrainer** · 31st-July-2009

A guy can't surf porn on occasion? WTF?!

As for her, has she only heard of Playboy and Hustler? There's porn magazines targeted at chubby chasers!!

**Lester Burnham** · 31st-July-2009

Another great double standard from women. A good many of them will tell you that porn is cheating, oh, but not that 12" vibrator and attachments she has hidden under the bed. Thaaaat's diiiiifereeeeent! LOL!!

Porn is masturbating, pure and simple. The reason women don't like it isn't because they think it is cheating, but because, as always, they are compelled to compare themselves with the porn stars and of course come up lacking.

If I were dumb enough to compare myself to a 12" fake schlong that vibrates, I'd take a hit to the old self esteem, too. But, alas, I am not that dumb.

**RebelliousVanilla** · 31st-July-2009

Quote from Lester Burnham

Another great double standard from women. A good many of them will tell you that porn is cheating, oh, but not that 12" vibrator and attachments she has hidden under the bed. Thaaaat's diiiiifereeeeent! LOL!!

Porn is masturbating, pure and simple. The reason women don't like it isn't because they think it is cheating, but because, as always, they are compelled to compare themselves with the porn stars and of course come up lacking.

If I were dumb enough to compare myself to a 12" fake schlong that vibrates, I'd take a hit to the old self esteem, too. But, alas, I am not that dumb.

Who can fit 12" inside her and does it all the time has deeper issues IMO than considering porn cheating... LOL

**Percy** · 1st-August-2009

Most women are quite hypocritical about vibrators. It doesn't just extend to porn but to their insistence that they are more 'natural' than men are. More 'in touch' with nature.

But just think what difficulties an Environmentalist woman has. Nature is Sacred. She can't use a wooden dildo because of cutting down trees. She can't use a carrot or a zuchini because they are Saints in the vegetable world. Bottles are man-made. She can't use plastic because, well they are made from oil, aren't they. And they usually have dirty fingernails.

Nope. She has to stick to frotteurism with trees and disguise it as 'hugging'.

**haahoo** · 1st-August-2009

Quote from nevosopelo

The man was taking his medicine for a quick cure to his illness.

Every time I get a flu or anything else, I'll have as much sex as I can!

Why?

Because sex stimulates the body's immune response system to resist disease by spurring leukocytes in the blood stream.

NEVO

Well, bugger me gently! I always wondered why I never caught a dose!!

**haahoo** · 1st-August-2009

Quote from RebelliousVanilla

Who can fit 12" inside her and does it all the time has deeper issues IMO than considering porn cheating... LOL

I have only had a small number of women refuse to comtemplate the thought when I whip out freddy the footlong..

My German wife could get one of those mega sausages in her Rhine cellar... fanny like a wellington top!

She was not that spacious when I met her though... She learned to tolerate immense pain over the years she was with me!

**RebelliousVanilla** · 1st-August-2009

Quote from haahoo

I have only had a small number of women refuse to comtemplate the thought when I whip out freddy the footlong..

My German wife could get one of those mega sausages in her Rhine cellar... fanny like a wellington top!

She was not that spacious when I met her though... She learned to tolerate immense pain over the years she was with me!

haahoo, too many details. I was having breakfast...