“Adult Behavior of the Children of the Tyrant Mother” – as explained by Elder George

Elder George, founder of Men’s Action to Rebuild Society, at mensaction.net

The video of this presentation can be found here:
(main subject of presentation starts at about 4:55 into the video)
http://www.mensaction.net/video/AdultBehaviorOfTheChildrenOfTheTyrantMother/

This presentation is a follow up of Elder George’s “The Tyrant Mother” that I highlighted in an earlier thread. To go to that earlier thread to listen to Elder George’s “Tyrant Mother” presentation and see what all people had to say about it, follow the link below:
http://antimisandry.com/chit-chat-main/tyrant-mother-explained-elder-george-19155.html

I have written out excerpts below of what I find to be the most important and interesting things that Elder George has to say in his video.

I am wondering how many of us can identify with the problems that Elder George addresses in his presentation “Adult Behavior of the Children of the Tyrant Mother”.

Though Elder George spends the most time describing how these problems affect women, it should not be forgotten that men often behave in similar ways, avoiding intimacy in order to not be hurt again.

As men, how many of us have seen women acting in ways to avoid intimacy that seems harmful to us, that frustrates the romantic hopes that we may harbor towards particular women?

Discussion, of course, is encouraged.

Elder George: “We all want to be close to our mothers, because, after all, mothers represent nurturing, but the tyrant mother, we know if you get too close to her, she may lash out and claw you, so we do not want to be so far as to not be loved, but not so close as to not be injured, so we become ambivalent in our relationship to my and in our relationship to the opposite sex whether we be men or women.”

Elder George: “Children of the Tyrant mother find it extremely difficult to commit.”

Elder George: “There are 3 ways of protecting ourselves towards another person in a social interaction. With our bosses, with our wives, with our children, what have you. One is to be perfect, to do everything so good, to be goodest goodest little girl, the goodest goodest little boy you know how to be. I’m talking now as an adult, to be the goodest goodest woman, the goodest goodest man you know how to be so that you will never be in any trouble with anybody.

Or, you could be aggressive, you’re not going to let anybody hurt you, you’re not putting up with anybody’s nonsense.

Number 3 is to conduct yourself in such a way as to not be hurt, you don’t get that emotionally involved, you don’t let anybody get too close to you, you cannot be hurt, you cannot be loved either we’ll see.

Now most people have two or three of these things mixed together, though one trait may predominate. (paraphrase) That is you might be an employee that does everything as good as good as good as you know how to do it as perfect as perfect as perfect as you know how to do it, then in your personal relationships with people you may be aggressive, you ain’t going to push me around, do a good job, but you ain’t gonna push me around pal I’m not going to take any nonsense, I was hurt enough as a child, you don’t think of that, but deep down inside you, and nobody’s going to hurt me now.”

Elder George: “And why does she feel she might get hurt? Because way back when, on a subconscious basis now, she’s thinking of her childhood, she doesn’t realize it on a conscious objective basis but she’s thinking, there she was, that defenseless little girl, and she got crushed. That’s not going to happen to her anymore. That’s another thing, it’s really tragic, it’s tragic, it hurts me today, I’m an older man, many women confide in me and I see these things all around me and it hurts, my heart weeps for these women who’s natural instinct is to find a good man and nurture him and have his children and nurture them, but they can’t allow themselves to be loved. They put defenses in the way.”

Elder George: “So, what do they do to take care of their natural nurturing instincts since they don’t allow a loving man to get close enough to them? They get pets! They get dogs, cats, parakeets, and their nurturing expression comes out in a pet, or is able to manifest itself in a pet, there’s even books in it, read the women’s studies, how to allow yourself to utilize your nurturing instincts, you nurture pets, not a man, not a child, but a pet! Isn’t that sad, to nurture pets instead of men and children?”

Elder George: “We’re becoming a nation where people won’t marry anymore, and we’ve got to get married again for society to function, we just have to get married again, for society to function again in every way.”

Elder George: “Of all the millions of you who were raised by a single mother, who was not necessarily a tyrant, but even if you were raised by a tyrant mother, and you grew up, and you became successful, I admire you for your success, I admire you for having made a good marriage, I admire you for having made a commitment, and I understand the hurt and struggle and turmoil that you went through to bring it about.

Now you know what you went through, let’s not bring another generation through that, let’s now you and I and all the other people who are hearing this start doing things different, OK, let’s have mothers and fathers raise children together, let’s do away with the tyrants, let’s have stability in the homes of our children and let’s move America forward.”