Just so f*cking tired

**PWCM** · 16th-July-2011

You know its easy to get filled with hate and anger, but when those emotions start to fade, you just feel TIRED!!!

The draining effect of these emotions can age you, can make you sick and in the end even kill you.

I know many guys here have fought long and and hard battles, some are still fighting. The enemy is everywhere, the road blocks are many and you feel like your not making advances. The mind starts to look for answers, we look for snippets of positive possibilities. We even create these possibilities in our minds, we fight the fight before we get there...but does it all amount to, Tiredness!!!

We become weary soldiers, battle scarred and depleted. The anger and hate we had for our enemies is no where to be found, the adrenalin we need doesn't kick in.

So how do we get back into the fray? How do we live to fight another day? What magical pill can we take so we can press on?

Well thanks to Missy A, I took stock of what I have been taught in times past. I re-visited my old battles, looked at the victories and the defeats. I am left with these thoughts;

I will now rest and I will take stock of the battles I fight.
I will look at my enemy and find her weaknesses.
I will make this battle run at my pace not hers.
I will decide when to fight and when to rest.

**nickb275** · 16th-July-2011

I also thank Missy A, I learned a valuable internet lesson;

One, I had no time for this type of fight. So I rested and took stock.
Two, I looked at my friend and found a foe, weaknesses are to easy to fight, they can be addictive
Three, I left this battle as it was not worth the grievance or annoyance, it was not necessary to hold station!! Retreat! A very helpful retreat it was.
Four, I took rest of the fight cuz it was useless, not what I needed. It has since been a restful decision.

This taught me that I needed myself more than I needed others to teach even though I am still learning at this stage in life. Not worth the sacrifice!

Much luck to all who are tired in life, I just chose to fight for my son and myself. The rest can wait till I regain more strength, unfortunately by then, I suspect I may have nothing more to give or take. So, the especially needy ones, well they go to the curb real quick now.

much luck to you all, may life bring you wisdom and peace and good stock to hold.

**The Possible Human** · 16th-July-2011

Quote from PWCM

You know its easy to get filled with hate and anger, but when those emotions start to fade, you just feel TIRED!!!

The draining effect of these emotions can age you, can make you sick and in the end even kill you.

I know many guys here have fought long and and hard battles, some are still fighting. The enemy is everywhere, the road blocks are many and you feel like your not making advances. The mind starts to look for answers, we look for snippets of positive possibilities. We even create these possibilities in our minds, we fight the fight before we get there...but does it all amount to, Tiredness!!!

We become weary soldiers, battle scarred and depleted. The anger and hate we had for our enemies is no where to be found, the adrenalin we need doesn't kick in.

So how do we get back into the fray? How do we live to fight another day? What magical pill can we take so we can press on?

Well thanks to Missy A, I took stock of what I have been taught in times past. I re-visited my old battles, looked at the victories and the defeats. I am left with these thoughts;

I will now rest and I will take stock of the battles I fight.
I will look at my enemy and find her weaknesses.
I will make this battle run at my pace not hers.
I will decide when to fight and when to rest.

I began to look at the battle with my ex as a multi theater war. I selected the battles I knew were tough, but could be won with some stamina. If you can, give up the anger and become pragmatic, do what you can, give it your best and never give up.

A few years back I nearly killed myself with stress. My doctors' advice was cut out the smokes, drink less, and learn to meditate. Not that touchy feely crap, but simple TM meditation twice a day for 30 mins. Worked well for me........

**Percy** · 16th-July-2011

Say not the Struggle Naught availeth

By Arthur Hugh Clough

1819-1861

SAY not the struggle naught availeth,
The labour and the wounds are vain,
The enemy faints not, nor faileth,
And as things have been they remain.

If hopes were dupes, fears may be liars;
It may be, in yon smoke conceal'd,
Your comrades chase e'en now the fliers,
And, but for you, possess the field.

For while the tired waves, vainly breaking,
Seem here no painful inch to gain,
Far back, through creeks and inlets making,
Comes silent, flooding in, the Main.

And not by eastern windows only,
When daylight comes, comes in the light;
In front the sun climbs slow, how slowly!
But westward, look, the land is bright!

**Penelope** · 21st-July-2011

I will now rest and I will take stock of the battles I fight.
I will look at my enemy and find her weaknesses.
I will make this battle run at my pace not hers.
I will decide when to fight and when to rest.

My Dad said and stills says: SBT

Stop
Breath
Think

Sorry guys I read one of those Gurian Books, take control of the pace, think before you do most anything. When a guy(s) lets me take a meeting at non-stop rates I know what the outcome will be.

**PWCM** · 21st-July-2011

I want to follow on from this post I made...the last week has been hell on earth.

I was all geared up for my court date on the 26th of July, finally I thought I was making progress...then the letter arrived. My lawyers where seeking an adjournment for two months, based on the following:

Costs to myself and my ex.
Seek mediation
etc.,

I went down into a blackhole, thoughts spinning through my head. As the day drew to a close more f'ing nightmare situations arose. I needed release, couple bottles of wine and a few pills should do it. Well the bottles are still there and the pills are down the toilet.

I prayed and sort comfort in the Bible, I read posts here at AM...I'm not alone. I re-read what I posted here and made a bold step. I told my lawyers that I was still going to court with or without them. I told them that they work for me and I will decide whether I need an adjournment. The result was my lawyers had a change of thought, they agreed that I should not take my ex's sh!t anymore.

So my friends, brothers and sisters I chose my battle, I chose to fight on my terms, and now I will go back into the fray on the day I have chosen.

**James Huff** · 21st-July-2011

Hot Damn!

Congratulations on picking up the ball and running with it. Just remember you are not alone. Every time you come here there will be an ear to listen, and hopefully some encouraging words to help you on your way.

**nickb275** · 21st-July-2011

At Pwcm, think of it as a business deal gone wrong that you must close. When I was in the thick of it in family court and my ex had derailed proceedings by going through 3 judges, I was wired for hate.

Once I took stance and looked at it with the least amount of personal emotion, everything just fell into place. The emotion is what twists these cases into heartache. Let her be the emotional one. Once the system sees you as cool headed and business like, they seem more logical.

Remember, this is a business for them (a very lucrative one). For you, it is your life at stake. Step back and look at it with a new pair of life glasses.

Also, educate yourself. The internet is full of information concerning you predicament. It helps to go into court not feeling like a scared deer in headlights. Knowing the motions and details of your localities laws regarding custody and divorce laws helps greatly. If you just rely solely on your lawyer to educate you, you will pay a hefty price indeed, and risk losing your goal.

Contact local Fathers and or male divorce help sites. If you want links, tell me your state or province. I am quite educated in this since I researched much about father resources.

Knowledge is power.

More power to you brother!!

**PWCM** · 21st-July-2011

Many Thanks Nick, I am in Brisbane Australia...any assistance is greatly appreciated.

I was fortunate enough to meet a wonderful woman who is a QC. She is very sympathetic to the plights of men and fathers. The lady in question was a Barrister in Family Courts for 12 years, and saw all the injustices dished out on men. This woman is a great find and I thank God daily for her. All though I don't have the permission to disclose her name, I can steer many men here in Queensland to her, and best of all her advice is free.

Added after 7 minutes:

Quote from James Huff

Hot Damn!

Congratulations on picking up the ball and running with it. Just remember you are not alone. Every time you come here there will be an ear to listen, and hopefully some encouraging words to help you on your way.

James thanks for your words, as many of us here have different ideologies, we are united by a brotherhood a common goal. This I believe is what makes men so different to women. We live as men who see things black and white, yes and no...when we fall into the grey areas we are out of our depth. I will not fight in the places I know I can be defeated.

Once again thank you for yours words and everyone here who stands for what is right.