Hi Richard.

I wish I could sit with you round a table for a man-to-man talk rather than just use text here but we don't even live on the same continent. At times life can be a shit. I had that up until I was about 10, when things merely became bad. Then I started to make things better for myself, getting a Saturday job and doing odd jobs for people, earning just enough to feel I was taking control of my life. I was still living in my Mother's house and eating food she chose etc so I wasn't really in control but it felt like it, which is important. I failed to get into higher education and could put the blame elsewhere for that but truly, it was my behaviour that was at fault. Life never looked exciting to me: just 50 years of work, then drop dead. Then I decided that if I was going to work I might as well make a lot of money rather than a little, so I got a case of ambition, read about starting my own business, studied up how to do it, worked out an overall plan and put it into action so that at age 22 I had a thriving one-shop retail business. I put in many hours, worked like a dog, and did well, too .. for three years. After the company had been put into bankruptcy, which coincided with me losing a girlfriend, I felt suicidal for a time but was either too ashamed or too much the coward to go through with it. And so my life has progressed. Periods of intense enjoyment, wealth and approbation alternating with periods of healing, recovery, and rejuvenation.

Why the hell have I just told you? Well, to illustrate that life can be fun, it can be great but it rarely is that all the time. Something else, too, that it's taken me half a century to realise: those low periods in my life - the length of them is almost entirely down to me. Because life throws a curved ball at you sometimes (see, I speak American, too) you can't always stop the circumstances around you sending you into a downward spin. Because the only person who can really make things better for you, is you, the amount of time you spend on the low point of your life is up to you. I know, I know .. we have all the excuses and trust me, some days I'm still using them myself (I'm on the way up, now, personally but not out of the dumps yet). You can't always do something about what ails you in some areas - you might not be able to move out to have your own space, for example - but you can often do something to make your life better. For you, maybe that is touting around the neighbourhood asking for odd jobs; or maybe it is going to the local library where you'll not only find some peace and quiet (hopefully) but also an ability to study on something of interest or use; or maybe it's examining websites and reading books on how to present an argument so that you will at some point find that not even a feminist can baffle you. I don't know just what you might be able to do, Richard. I find that getting outside of myself, doing something for a charity often helps me; I guess it's focusing on other people that stops me feeling so sorry for myself even though nothing has actually changed to make my personal situation better.

If coming here and immersing yourself in the struggle for men's rights depresses you, I really suggest you leave off for a while. Don't forget the need and don't abandon it but if it's making you feel worse, postpone the struggle until you have less angst in your personal life and can cope with it. There's a lot more going wrong in the world than just feminism but there's also a great deal more pleasure and joy that can be found in simply sitting down with a stranger and talking about his or her life - and that's not only free, but uplifting and a great way to make friends.

I've gone on long enough and hopefully some of the words from this old man can help you in your life.

We all get depressed. We wouldn't be human if we didn't.
Fortunately my indignation far out weighs my depression. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't watch TV, I work and go to school and I have no criminal record. Yet, I've been labeled a misogynist, fatalist, conservative, brute, pessimist and a thug. Hell, I haven't even lost my virginity nor taken any new age trollops to bed. Riding solo isn't for everyone and I don't know too many young men (besides myself) who have the will power to flee from fornication. If going your own way is what you want to do, go ahead.
I've gone my own way for years. In ten months, I'll be 24 years of age.
No women, no children, no relationships, no bull shit.
Yes, the new age gals and slut zombies will hate you for your decision just as they hate me. You ask yourself what is more important. Self preservation or pampering childish ingrates who hate you for being born. You decide!

Quote from Douglas

Hi Richard.

I wish I could sit with you round a table for a man-to-man talk rather than just use text here but we don't even live on the same continent. At times life can be a shit. I had that up until I was about 10, when things merely became bad. Then I started to make things better for myself, getting a Saturday job and doing odd jobs for people, earning just enough to feel I was taking control of my life. I was still living in my Mother's house and eating food she chose etc so I wasn't really in control but it felt like it, which is important. I failed to get into higher education and could put the blame elsewhere for that but truly, it was my behaviour that was at fault. Life never looked exciting to me: just 50 years of work, then drop dead. Then I decided that if I was going to work I might as well make a lot of money rather than a little, so I got a case of ambition, read about starting my own business, studied up how to do it, worked out an overall plan and put it into action so that at age 22 I had a thriving one-shop retail business. I put in many hours, worked like a dog, and did well, too .. for three years. After the company had been put into bankruptcy, which coincided with me losing a girlfriend, I felt suicidal for a time but was either too ashamed or too much the coward to go through with it. And so my life has progressed. Periods of intense enjoyment, wealth and approbation alternating with periods of healing, recovery, and rejuvenation.

Why the hell have I just told you? Well, to illustrate that life can be fun, it can be great but it rarely is that all the time. Something else, too, that it's taken me half a century to realise: those low periods in my life - the length of them is almost entirely down to me. Because life throws a curved ball at you sometimes (see, I speak American, too) you can't always stop the circumstances around you sending you into a downward spin. Because the only person who can really make things better for you, is you, the amount of time you spend on the low point of your life is up to you. I know, I know .. we have all the excuses and trust me, some days I'm still using them myself (I'm on the way up, now, personally but not out of the dumps yet). You can't always do something about what ails you in some areas - you might not be able to move out to have your own space, for example - but you can often do something to make your life better. For you, maybe that is touting around the neighbourhood asking for odd jobs; or maybe it is going to the local library where you'll not only find some peace and quiet (hopefully) but also an ability to study on something of interest or use; or maybe it's examining websites and reading books on how to present an argument so that you will at some point find that not even a feminist can baffle you. I don't know just what you might be able to do, Richard. I find that getting outside of myself, doing something for a charity often helps me; I guess it's focusing on other people that stops me feeling so sorry for myself even though nothing has actually changed to make my personal situation better.

If coming here and immersing yourself in the struggle for men's rights depresses you, I really suggest you leave off for a while. Don't forget the need and don't abandon it but if it's making you feel worse, postpone the struggle until you have less angst in your personal life and can cope with it. There's a lot more going wrong in the world than just feminism but there's also a great deal more pleasure and joy that can be found in simply sitting down with a stranger and talking about his or her life - and that's not only free, but uplifting and a great way to make friends.

I've gone on long enough and hopefully some of the words from this old man can help you in your life.

Thanks for the words of wisdom Douglas, I appreciate it. Here in America things are really falling apart, and people here practically no longer talk to each other, and if they do, it is for trivial reasons, like the last nights episode of Show XYZ, or the latest trends and fashions, you know things of that sort. American society is becoming vastly anti-social and purely consumerist. I want to walk the Earth, as vague as that sounds, but I really need to find myself, and learn how to regain the strength and passion I once had, and find a way out.

Quote from Zuberi

We all get depressed. We wouldn't be human if we didn't.
Fortunately my indignation far out weighs my depression. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't watch TV, I work and go to school and I have no criminal record. Yet, I've been labeled a misogynist, fatalist, conservative, brute, pessimist and a thug. Hell, I haven't even lost my virginity nor taken any new age trollops to bed. Riding solo isn't for everyone and I don't know too many young men (besides myself) who have the will power to flee from fornication. If going your own way is what you want to do, go ahead.
I've gone my own way for years. In ten months, I'll be 24 years of age.
No women, no children, no relationships, no bull shit.
Yes, the new age gals and slut zombies will hate you for your decision just as they hate me. You ask yourself what is more important. Self preservation or pampering childish ingrates who hate you for being born. You decide!

You are absolutely right Zuberi, but my path is a difficult one. The only thing I have left for me is the streets. Times are really hard.

I'm glad you're speaking up Rich. One of the worst things we can do as MRAs is suffer in silence, because as this site proves, we're not alone.

The path you're walking is certainly difficult, but it's the hardest and most narrow paths which are usually the most righteous to walk. Even if only for a brief instant or only with a few people, it is the kind of path which does make a profound difference o nthe world around it. Take solace in that fact as you walk this dificult path and know you're not alone in walking it.

Quote from bowspearer

I'm glad you're speaking up Rich. One of the worst things we can do as MRAs is suffer in silence, because as this site proves, we're not alone.

The path you're walking is certainly difficult, but it's the hardest and most narrow paths which are usually the most righteous to walk. Even if only for a brief instant or only with a few people, it is the kind of path which does make a profound difference o nthe world around it. Take solace in that fact as you walk this dificult path and know you're not alone in walking it.

Thank you, I appreciate your advice. I just want for all of us (men and women) to have absolute freedom. That is what democracy is all about. I don't like to give up hope, and I try to work towards achieving the goals I want to set for myself.

Shit,boy. I've been in your situation before. I'm not you. I'm not going to say "I know exactly how you feel", because I don't. But what helped me, and what I think will help you,is a good old-fashioned adventure.

I hitchhiked my way across America and slept out every night under the stars,it was very peaceful and it helped me to find a sense of balance when things seemed to be spinning out of control. Obviously, this is a radical example, but a road trip or camping trip might give you some time to think and be at peace.

Quote from Unregistered

Shit,boy. I've been in your situation before. I'm not you. I'm not going to say "I know exactly how you feel", because I don't. But what helped me, and what I think will help you,is a good old-fashioned adventure.

I hitchhiked my way across America and slept out every night under the stars,it was very peaceful and it helped me to find a sense of balance when things seemed to be spinning out of control. Obviously, this is a radical example, but a road trip or camping trip might give you some time to think and be at peace.

Was that back in the 70's when you had no chance of being shot or dragged behind a car just because you put your thumb out, what an egg-head!

Quote from MikeT

Was that back in the 70's when you had no chance of being shot or dragged behind a car just because you put your thumb out, what an egg-head!

Still, it's not a bad idea. Getting away for a bit never hurts. Especially if there's a little adventure to it.

There's a thought. I wonder if any MRAs in the states could help him out in terms of someone to hang out with.

Quote from bowspearer

There's a thought. I wonder if any MRAs in the states could help him out in terms of someone to hang out with.

I'd consider it, if I wasn't working.

But who says it has to be 24/7 Zuberi? Surely hanging out for a couple of weeks around your downtime, or during the next vacation could possibly be an idea.

This I think is the challenge, to find ways for us to make this doable (if I wasn't in the Australia, I'd opt to help out with this) rather than letting the obstacles block us.