Zodiac

Due to the coming fact that Father Tom is coming back on the air in April of this year, here are some of his best rules that will save you time and effort with dealing with some the bs by women (Mind you I said "some" as women are natural bs creatures as it is):

1. $40.00 Limit - Never spend then $40 no a date.

2. 3 Dates Rule - Stop seeing the girl if you do not get laid after the third date.

3. No Means No - If she says no then, STOP, get your stuff, and leave. Staying longer than that opens up another can of worms you don't want to encounter.

4. Single Mothers - Never date single mothers. They made one mistake and they'll most likely keep the next one.

5. Tabasco Sauce - After having sex pour Tabasco sauce into the used condom. If the women wants to get pregnant off of you against your will she'll have a painful surprise.

6. Co-worker Relationships - Never date a co-worker due to the chance of sexual harassment charges.

7. Approaching Women in Groups - Never approach a woman in a club that's surrounded by her girlfriends. If you do this you'll waste your time fighting off the mother hen.

8. Sex To Go - No spooning, cuddling, and or staying over after sex. This is a one way trip to friend ville.

9. Relationships - Do not get into a serious relationship before the age of 25. This is the time frame you should be trying to get your career on track so you wont have to work until you die.

10. Weekend Dates - Do not go out on weekend dates unless you are guaranteed sex. Why waste your time if you aren't getting what you truly want.

11. Cell Phone Dates - If your dates cell phone rings during the date then immediately leave. If she cant devote a few hours out of her busy day when you have already devoted your time to her, she is telling you that you aren't worth her time. Take the hint and realize you will come last to her.

12. Birth Control - Regardless of what a woman says always use birth control. If she doesn't use birth control its due to wanting to have a child. No excuse is allowed since there are more than 5x the amount of options for a woman than a man (And one of the man's options are potentially permanent.)

13. Beverage Consumption - Buy Hard Alcohol over Beer. More bang for your buck.

14. Types of Dates - Avoid lunch and or coffee dates.

15. Jerks and Assholes - If women think you are a jerk, then you're doing something right.

16. Marriage Contract - Never marry without a prenuptial agreement. Mind you that even with a pre-nup you are running the risk her lawyer will get it thrown out due to being "unfair" even though she agreed to the terms when signed.

17. Income and Women - The amount of income you have often determines the type of women you get.

18. Male Friends - All her male friends want to have sex with her. If you think otherwise don't bitch when she leaves you for the guy that was "only a friend."

19. No Sex At Your House - Never bring a woman home for sex. Once she arrives at your house it allows for her to "accidentally" leave things behind so she can be "in the area" to get it (This really means so she can spy on you to see if she is the only woman as women are territorial creatures.) This also opens up the can of worms in case she isn't the only one and she wants revenge on you.

20. No Compliments - Never compliment a woman without reason. It only feeds her ego and when the compliments end so does her attention to you.

21. Change is not Inevitable - Do not change who you are just for a woman. Just makes women realize they can walk all over you to the point they'll have no respect for you.

22. Power Before Kids and Marriage - Men have the most power before kids and a family. Remember that so when she wants condom-less sex so she can "feel you" its most likely a trick.

23. Paternity Test - Always get a paternity test no matter how sure you are that it is your child. It's better to shell out a few hundred now than waste thousands on something that isn't yours.

24. Women Are Dream Killers - They want to reach their dreams and stop yours.

Ultimatum, Run - If a women gives you an ultimatum then run and don't look back.