HAMLET AS TOLD ON THE STREET
Now Francisco and Bernardo, they was guardin’ the castle,
Leanin’ on their spears, not lookin’ for no hassle,
Havin’ themselves a brew or two,
When out in the night they hear woo-wooo-wooo.
And here comes this ghost, lookin’ ragged and rank,
In a rusty suit of armor, goin’ clank, clank, clank.
They say, "Hey, Mr. Ghost, are you our dear departed king?"
But the ghost don’t say one motherfuckin’ thing.
He goes, "Wooo-wooo-wooo." They say, "Hey, we better split,
And go tell Hamlet about this shit." So they run find Hamlet, they say, "Hey, sweet Prince,
Your daddy’s ghost been seen runnin’ hither and hince.
He’s all full of maggots and he’s grizzly and grim,
Somethin’s rotten in Denmark and -- whew -- we think it’s him."
Hamlet say, "Oh, are you sure it’s my pop?
Did he have matty gray hair with a bald spot on top?
Did he have bright blue eyes that never know fear
And a tattoo says GERTRUDE FOREVER right here?"
They say, "Hey, the thing just flittered by our station,
We didn’t give him no phyical examination.
And we don’t know for sure if your daddy was the one,
But we do know a motherfuckin’ ghost when we see one."
Hamlet say, "Show me where you spied this spectral klunk
So I see if it’s my pop, or if you was both drunk."
So they bring ol’ Hamlet to the spot, and then
They wait five minutes and wooooo ---
Here he comes again.
He got gray skin, black teeth and hollow eyes,
Beckonin’ like this -- young Hamlet cries,