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In August of 2009, my wife of 20 years filed false claims against me of violently abusing her one unforgettable day that month.

The restraining order insanely issued against me due to these false claims remains in effect to this day, and likely will for quite some time.

I remain homeless and unemployed due to this viscious act committed by my former spouse.

Molly, my now ex wife, did this in order to acquire a tactical advantage in a divorce she clearly wants that I was completely unaware of until she filed this retraining order against me that prevents me from having any contact whatsoever with my daughter as well, whose name is Hayley.

The pain from this particular strike against me is indescribable.

My wife told her free army of legal professionals that she suspects that child abuse was happening by me against Hayley. This particular claim is far more absurd than the abuse claims Molly made about me, which included a claim by Molly that I tried to kill her one night.

So of course, I ended up in jail in the first time of my 43 years soon after these false allegations were made against me by Molly.The second night I was in jail, I decided to write Hayley a letter.

Now, writing Hayley fractures the restraining order falsely issued against me, since this is contacting Hayley in this manner. But since I was already in jail, I really was not concerned about breaking this abusive enforcement of psychotic laws now against me.

As I wrote her that night, I was not the fun dad I usually am with Hayley due to my state of mind. However, I never wrote anything to Hayley indicating hatred or anger towards her mother, Molly. Nor did I, in my words to Hayley, debate her mother's false accusations against me.

My undergrad is in child psychology, and I learned with my education that it is never a good idea to attack a parent in any way during a split of the parents, which is what is happening with our family right now.

So I wrote to Hayley that I will always love her mother because her mother gave Hayley to me almost 12 years ago. This is the woman who put me in jail.

I also wrote to Hayley that the destruction happening to our family right now is difficult to understand for both of us, but we should try and grasp this situation together in time. I told Hayley with my writing to her that I loved and missed her, and that I hoped she would write me back soon.I mailed this letter to her grandparent's house.

These are Molly's parents, and are very wonderful people who have been married for more than 60 years. They understand the importance of a father in a child's life. I only mailed this letter to Hayley after trading my breakfast the next day in order to get a stamped envelope from another inmate.

Hayley wrote me back soon afterwards, and I was thrilled beyond belief. Yet her letter understandably was cautious. She shared a bit with me about school and her friends.

What really got me was the end of her letter to me: P.S. Daddy- everything is going to be OK, no matter what....

I cried when I read this from her. She understands more than I fully realize about my own frame of mind, and what is happening to our family right now. I shed tears as I recall this that she wrote. She wrecked her father, and this is not the first time.

So my next letter to Hayley was much more jovial than my initial letter to herear Hayley....Hey, guess what? We are pen pals now.....YAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!Then I went on to tell her how cool she is. I discussed what she wanted to be for halloween. I effortlessly made her laugh what I wrote to her in this letter. The words I shared with Hayley came from my heart.

Her next letter to me was much more upbeat. She was thrilled that we were pen pals now. She expressed clearly how happy she was that she was getting mail from her daddy now. This made me comforted greatly. I was at peace with her emotional and mental state now.

The next letter composed by me to Hayley was apparently as enjoyable to her as she read this. The letter included beautiful drawings from Tommy, my cell mate in jail. Hayley put the drawings by Tommy that I mailed to her on her school locker walls, she told me in her writing to me afterwards.

Tommy, my cell mate artist during that time, is a 22 year old homeless guy who was in jail for assault on another adult. He had been homeless for much of his life. And Tommy did have anger issues.

It took me about 2 weeks to gain his trust. Once this happened, I discussed with Tommy more benign outlets for his anger urges, and the importance of thinking before acting. Tommy also has done illegal drugs, so we discussed the impact of such drugs on his health and behavior.

I'm in ...

My name is Dan Abshear, and I am a recovering drug addict.

My substance abuse began with alcohol intake, in my early teens. My mother used to insist me and my older teen brother, also a young teenager, party with her, by getting drunk with her.

My mother would give alcohol to us, and my older brother's many young teenage friends, often. This went on for years. My mother, by the way, should have gone to prision for this, as this is contributing to the delinquency of minors, which is a felony. But, thanks to lazy cops and apathetic neighbors, this never happened.

However,I blame myself for my alcohol addiction, and no other. Like many other recovering drug addicts, I have a very addictive personality. That personality contributed to my abuse of substances such as alcohol.

My drinking continued to be heavy until the age of 37 or so. It was then I broke my back, sleigh riding with my daughter. And it was then, a doctor prescribed me vicodin.

Vicodin is known as an opoid analgesic. Opiates have been abused and used by many, for thousands of years (http://redroom.com/member/dan-abshear/blog/the-euphoric-violet-delight). The effect vicodin had on me was amazing.

Because, at least in my case, vicodin not only takes care of physical pain, but emotional pain as well. The drug provided a much wanted and welcomed euphoria in my life.

For those of you who are familiar with the T.V. show, "House". This is what Dr. House abuses, throughout the show.

So, while on vicodin, I stopped drinking, and started exercising intensely. I was able to do this, because I was pain free on vicodin. In fact, I got in the best shape of my life, while I continuously consumed more and more vicodin.

But, within two years, I was a full blown opiate addict. My tolerance increased with that drug, rapidly, so it seemed. I was taking between 10 and 20 high dose tablets a day, at the height of my addiction to this drug.

And, the euphoria I initially experienced with vicodin also faded to the point where it was unnoticeable. But, I kept taking vicodin, because withdrawals were not welcome, when I did not have vicodin in my system.

So, in the year of 2004 now, and I'm at a doctor convention with work. For many years, I did pharmaceutical sales, for very large pharmaceutical corporations. I'm at work with a younger guy, who noticed the tiredness and boredom of myself, and a couple of others, at this convention. This younger guy had some adderall on him, and offered a tablet to me, and a couple of others at this meeting.

Adderall is basically long acting amphetamines, used to treat ADD and narcolepsy. I had heard of the drug before, but never chose to take it. But, since I was a vicodin addict at this point in my life, I thought I would give it a try, and took the adderall pill at that doctor convention.

The effects of adderall were amazing. That night, my mind was at maximum efficiency, I felt. I began to write, and I wrote all night. It was as if adderall awakened these dormant neurons in my brain. I absolutely loved this drug.

It also initially increased my sex drive. While I had a high sex drive already, adderall initially intensified my orgasms. That combined with what I preceived to be maximum cognitive efficiency, I had found a new drug to love.

As with vicodin, I began to increase my intake of adderall as tolerance developed, while high on this drug. Also, with my adderall use, I did not sleep. In time, I started to experience hallucinations.

So I went to my favorite doctor who had been prescribing vicodin and adderall to me, and asked him for some benzodiazapines, better known as tranquilizers.

Benzos, as they are called, work on the GABA inhibitors in the brain- the same area of the brain that is affected by alchohol intake. So while on benzos, not only did I sleep, but I felt like I was drunk on this drug, on this class of drugs, which I also ended up abusing aggressively, of course.

Memory loss was a problem at this point in my life, and benzos made my memory problems much worse.

I'd say, from the years 2006 to 2009, my life is a blur. I recall very little, during this period in my life. This is all do to my enormous drug intake, from these drugs in particular.

My lovely wife at the time wanted me high on drugs all the time. We had marital issues she did not want to address. While high on drugs, I did not address these rather significant issues in our marriage. Because while high on drugs, I stopped caring about anyone, or anything.

She wanted me that way, completely full of these drugs I ended up abusing so badly, so she would go to her own doctor, and get me these drugs I was addicted to quite badly. ...

Whistles blowers aren't always celebrated.
Sometimes they're crushed.

"There is a pathologically intimate relationship between corporations and the U.S. government- their collusion is expressed in the revolving door. "


by Dan Abshear
(for henrymakow.com)


In the Spring of 2006, I became a pharmaceutical corporate whistle blower.



In February of that year, I had recruited a law firm with experience in pharmaceutical whistle blower lawsuits in Boston, which is a top place to file and submit pharmaceutical whistle blower cases. They agreed to represent me after I submitted a ten page document to them I composed- explaining why the wrongdoing of my employer, Novartis Pharmaceuticals, needed to be addressed. They represented me on complete contingency, which meant that they would not be paid if they did not succeed in the whistle blower lawsuit they were submitting for me.



The law firm submitted the whistle blower lawsuit against Novartis in April of 2006. And it was filed under seal, which means that I and my legal council cannot discuss the case whatsoever. It's a trick played by the D.O.J., to eliminate the possibility of media contact.



I made a trip to Boston in July of 2006 to be asked hundreds of questions by various relevant government entities, such as the department of health and human services. Also, in the center of a large table in a conference room, was a phone, with numerous attorney generals from various states- all there to hear my answers to the hundreds of questions I was asked one day, for 8 hours. I spoke with complete knowledge of the evidence, and with total honesty.



Novartis hired me at the end of 2001 as one of their many sales representatives. At that time, I had already worked for two of the top pharmaceutical corporations in the world, which were Merck and Pharmacia Corporation. The game is the same no matter which pharmaceutical corporation one may work for as a sales representative.



That game, as a pharmaceutical representative, is bribing doctors: hiring doctors to be on the payroll of the pharmaceutical corporation.



In the years I worked for Novartis, I received above average raises yearly. I received numerous awards from Novartis. I was very well liked and respected. Novartis gave me a company car, I normally only worked half-days. I was viewed as an expert as a pharmaceutical sales representative. I was often asked to train other new sales representatives. This was vocational bliss.



So, why would I even consider reporting wrongdoing by them, if they treated me so well? Was I insane?



WIDESPREAD CORRUPTION

In the year 2003, I discovered CafePharma. CafePharma is basically an online venting board for pharmaceutical representatives. Such representatives who post on this board often do so with overt anger and disgust. My uneasiness about bribing doctors was validated by what representatives from many pharmaceutical companies wrote on this board. The money we paid targeted doctors are kickbacks. By paying such doctors, we as sales representatives are violating the federal anti-kickback statute.



As sales reps with large pharmaceutical corporations, the more doctors you acquire n your territory, the more you assure your career with your employer. You are told as nauseum by your employer to seek and pay targeted doctors.



With Novartis, they took things a step further: They sent instructions to their sales force to remind doctors paid by representatives that they are obligated to prescribe Novartis pharmaceuticals whenever possible. This, of course, potentially clouds the clinical judgments of such doctors, and as a result, adversely affects the restoration of health obligated by the health care provider.



The year now was 2004, and I had had enough. I had enough of Novartis threatening the members of their sales force. Each representative was given a promotional budget. Often, this budget was several thousand dollars per month. The unspoken rule was, each representative has to spend all their budget, or else. It was this year I started to read books written by those experts critical of the pharmaceutical industry. I began to become very uncomfortable about the industry I represented.



Also, in 2004, I started to collect evidence in the form of internal documents- accessible only to Novartis employees, and not intended to be viewed by others. Documents illustrating the coercion by Novartis to its sales force to spend their promotional budgets. Documents in the form of ...

As of today, I've been homeless for a bit over two and a half years.



Right after becoming homeless, I tried to stay with friends. But that never seemed to be a comfortable situation for me. Such friends did not understand how I became homeless, so my relationship with such friends was often fractured, I'm sad to say. Such friends also included former lovers. No situation staying with such friends ever worked. My stay with such friends was often brief, and unpleasant for me.



So, I began staying at a homeless shelter.- specifically, a shelter contracted by the veterans administration because, by definition, I am a homeless veteran. This meant I was living with several other people, at the same location. It's community living, and this is something I had not experienced since my days in the military.



For the past several months, I've been staying at a Salvation Army. The VA contracted a floor at this salvation army for homeless veterans who are recovering drug addicts. In addition to being homeless, I am also a recovering drug addict. This floor holds about 40 homeless veterans. It is a comfortable place to stay. At this location, the homeless veterans have three TVs, four refrigerators, two microwaves, two phones, and two computers.



In addition to the salvation army providing meals for us, we as homeless veterans also often have food stamps. We would often buy additional food for us to have where we lived, to supplement the meals provided to us where we stayed, with these food stamps. So, with many homeless veterans at this location, obesity was a problem.



This obesity experienced by many other veterans staying with me at the salvation army was not only due to the additional food available to these now overweight homeless veterans, but also due to the medication these veterans would often take, as prescribed to them by their VA psychiatrists, often. Such medications would often cause them to gain weight.



Many veterans I stay with at this salvation army were trying to get disability benefits, for mental illnesses. So, they would be diagnosed with various mental health disease states by their VA psychiatrists, and take these often toxic mediations, as prescribed to them. Whether or not such veterans actually had such mental illnesses is a topic of debate. Regardless, because they wanted mental health disability benefits, they would be diagnosed with a variety of mental health illnesses, and take often many drugs for these illnesses.



Usually, the TVs at the salvation army where we stayed were designated for specific reasons, by the veterans. One TV would be for those who wish to watch sports. Another TV would be dedicated to those veterans who wished to watch the news or TV shows. And another TV would be dedicated for those who wish to watch movies.



Often, the homeless veterans would get bootleg DVD movies. These would be movies currently playing in theatres would be acquired by some veterans, on DVD disks. Don't ask me how certain veterans acquired these movies, but it was nice watching current movies, where I stayed.



Myself, I never watched much TV, so I was on the computers at this location often. Many I stayed with at this salvation army were not very literate, so they did not utilize the computers available to us, at the salvation army. During the long days at the salvation army, I would look for jobs on these computers, and often help many other homeless veterans write whatever they may want written. This would include letters such veterans wanted to receive additional VA benefits, cover letters they wanted me to create for certain jobs they wanted, or letters to lawyers, often. I did not mind helping my fellow veterans, in this way.



Most homeless people, including homeless veterans, smoke. We call cigarettes squares, and acquiring cigarettes is often a main goal for us smokers, since most of us do not have any money on us at all. As a general rule, I'll ask for cigarettes from those homeless veterans who do have some sort of income, and smoke. And, if I happen to get some money and have cigarettes, I'll share these cigarettes with others. I've been known to find cigarette butts on the ground, and smoke those.



Making money as a homeless person is often difficult, because we, as homeless people, are often unemployable for a variety of reasons. Any money I've made as a homeless person has been untraceable, which is money paid to me under the table. Such jobs may include cleaning an athletic stadium. Or helping a political candidate get elected.



Such opportunities ...

My fiancee Carol lives near me now, finally, but I still hand write her letters often, and mail these with a card to her. Daily, I fortunately speak with her on the phone, or chat with her often on the computer.

But something happens, when I write her these letters. I access something within me, as I share words with her. When I write Carol, I open a vein, and bleed my heart and soul on the paper.

Three years ago, the life as I know it got destroyed by others, with deliberate intent. Since then, I've wrote several essays, illustrating the pain I've experienced since then, as well as circumstances involved with my destruction.

Most of what I write to Carol now deals with where I live, which is a homeless shelter for military veterans. Also, I write about how I feel about Carol now. Here are a few letters I've written Carol recently:

Saturday morning

Hi Baby,

I'm serving breakfast for the boys this morning, so I thought I'd write you once again.

I'm again sorry I got on this restriction here. I have two beers at an applebees, and the folks here think I had this huge relapse, due to a positive urine drug screen I did. You and I will get through these next few weeks, and then we will be fine. And I won't drink beer anymore.

I'm glad these people here have computers, and I'm able to chat with you so often. I've also cranked out a few essays, since I've been staying here. I got here in February of this year. Anyway, I need to do some more writing, so give me something to write about sometime.

You had a really bad day yesterday, so I hope you are doing better today. I'll get on the computer here soon, and chat with you then.

I hope your mom made it back OK last night from Las Vegas, and I'd like to meet her sometime. Maybe sometime after my restriction here, I'll be able to meet her then. I'm glad I met your ex husband last weekend. He seems like he is an alright guy- at least now. I'm also glad he cares about you now.

Yesterday, I sent my mom an email, wishing her happy birthday, and happy mother's day. Her birthday is today. I also sent her pictures of you and I, from last Tuesday. I'm glad she sold my truck, and sent me the money from that.

That money got us some very decent lunches together, and a fantastic room at the magical Super 8, near where you live now, last weekend. It is so beautiful and peaceful there. And I really like the girl who shared a room with me there.

OK- I've enjoyed writing you again. And, we will chat soon online. I love you very much,

Dan

Thrusday night

Hi Baby,

I'm working the desk here right now, so I thought I'd write you once again.

My day was pretty good today. Earlier, I enjoyed chatting with you on the computer. And, I like going to the VA hospital here. For one thing, I like getting out of this place. Normally, I find people I know there to hang out with for awhile, when I'm not at a meeting at this hospital. And I like the staff at this hospital, especially those who conduct the meetings I attend there.

Just got off the phone with you, and you sounded really good, and happy. I'm also glad your daughter Carolyn is spending some time with you tonight.

Earlier today, I got a new sport coat in the clothing room they have where I now stay. The clothing room is pretty big, and since no one here but me wears sport coats every day, there are a lot of sport coats in this room for me to get.

And many of these coats are fairly new, so i'll grab them from this room as I need them. Benjamin is a 21 year old kid who works in this clothing room, helping us find what we may need from there. He and I became friends in the computer room here. So he lets me help myself, when I want to go in this clothing room here.

The only good thing about this place I now stay is the computers here. At least I get to chat with my girl all the time, due to these computers.

We got a guy who stays here who delivers mail for the post office. He thinks it is very cool that I hand write you all of these letters, and mail these to you with a card so often. He and I both agree that doing this is a lot more personal then just talking online, for example.

Most guys I stay with here know about you in my life now. If you have not met them already, they have seen you with me here. The staff here also knows about you. A girl I know who works in the kitchen here was asking about you not long ago.

Most guys who live here do not have a girlfriend, and have not had a girlfriend in many years. So you and I are kind of unique to many at this location. I consider myself very lucky to have you in ...

The following are handwritten letters to my daughter, Hayley, soon after her mother kicked me out of her life, quite violently. Presently, Hayley has a lot of anger and hatred towards me, due to the lies told to her by her mother, and likely others.

These letters were written to her by me about 3 years ago. Presently, I continue to hand write Hayley letters at least once a week. Nothing will ever keep me from loving my daughter:

This letter was written immediately after Hayley's mother had me evicted from my own house, and after I was in jail due to false allegations against me, by Hayley's mother-

Dear Hayley,

Since I’m unable to send you letters right now in the mail, I’ve decided to write you anyway. What I do write to you I will give you in time, I promise.

I also write often about you, Hayley. I write about my thoughts and feelings I have- and how thankful I am that you are in my life. This life. When I do write about you, I share this with others. These others care about you as well- quite a bit.

Your dad likes to shout from the rooftop of the world when he writes. When I write about you, I acquire the words I write solely from my heart. So when I’m on this rooftop when I do write about you, I whisper in silence- which is the peace in my heart.

Yet others hear my whispers quite deeply at times- and quite clearly. As a result, I’ll continue to retrieve these words to you within me.

Let’s see….we will start when you were born. You clearly did not want to come out of mom just yet, although you were due a week before you were born. So you were ready to be born, but were apparently a bit too comfortable inside Mom.

Yet mom certainly would be more comfortable at that time if you were finally born, so it happened finally after 17 hours of sheer bliss experienced by Mom.

And you were wide awake when you were born, Hayley, and this is the only way to be in life. This was very cool for your dad to see you this way seconds after you were born. You were very ready to start living your life right after getting born. I enjoyed seeing you this way then as I do now.

Mom was a bit sore after delivering you, so I got to hang out with you a lot after you were born. We would go out on the back deck of our house very early in the morning and listen to the birds as we would watch them fly at times. And I have not stopped enjoying spending time with you ever since then.

Then, after 4 months, I experienced the best feeling in the world. I made you laugh.

I continued to make you laugh after that moment. This was very easy for me to do. I absolutely love to see you smile. Whenever I may be having a bad day, I’d come home and see you. At that point, I was no longer having a bad day.

Also, I use to drink a lot of adult beverages before you were born. I stopped doing this soon after you came into my life. I no longer needed to poison myself with such drinks.

When I drank, I was not myself at all, and I wanted and needed to be myself around you. I’m very happy I am myself around you and with you always. Quite simply, your dad rocks.

You always watch what I do, I learned quickly. So your dad is a fairly nice guy. I’ll often hold the door for another. I always say ‘please’, and ‘thank you’, to others I speak with often. I always try and help others that need help.

You watched when I would do such things. As a result, you do these same things for others. You are very polite and kind, Hayley. I could not ask for anything else.

I love you very much,

Dad


This is a letter I wrote my daughter Hayley, after another warrant was issued for my arrest due to her mother in the state of Missouri, and her free legal team’s desire to keep me incarcerated.

The warrant is again for violating the restraining order issued against me by her mother. I did nothing to fracture this bogus order against me.

The letter was composed by me during my bus trip down to Atlanta Georgia-

Dear Hayley,

I’m on a trip right now, Hayley. Others want to put me in jail again- even though I’ve done nothing wrong. So I’m leaving today to move to another state. It’s my hope to start my life over again where I move.

And I still miss you greatly, Hayley. I miss hugging you and talking to you. And I will see you when I can, I promise.

It is likely you are now as tall as me now, I bet. You are a very beautiful girl. You are as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside, Hayley.

Please tell me about school sometime. I love when you write to me about school, and the friends you have as well. I’d also like you to write about how you are feeling ...

Recently, I began a relationship with a wonderful woman, and I've been handwriting her letters once a week for close to a year now. Daily, we speak on the phone, and communicate via the internet.

But my feelings for her go beyond these methods of communication. So, I began hand writing her these letters, and I send these with a card in what is now referred to as snail mail. I view this method of intimate communication at times a very under utilized form of sharing thoughts and feelings with another. I have not wrote letters in this way since high school, which was well before the advent of the internet.



In these letters I write to this amazing girl, I find myself sharing emotions more completely than sharing them in another way. Presently, I live in a homeless shelter. These letters reflect my life living in such an enviornment. Also, I share my very intimate feelings with this girl:





Sunday Night



Hi There,



Thank you for spending your days and nights with me. You make my days a lot better here. And you are very popular where I live. The guys here know how I feel about you and the treats you are sending me will increase your popularity that much more.



So I'm thinking possibly by next month, I'll have money to come see you. I'm thinking about 400.00 dollars should cover my flight and a hotel room for us. We'll get separate rooms, since we are not married and all.



I've had a headache all day today. I always get headaches, when the weather changes. Don't ask me why.



Most of the guys here are black and are older than me. I've been here for about 4 months now. And I've made some friends-a few are guys who think I'm a genius because I can read and write. Scott is an older white friend of mine here. He was a special Forces medic during the Vietnam War.



And right now, he is in school for his PhD as a physician assistant. I do not know the stories of how these guys here ended up homeless, and they do not know mine. But some guys here are quite amazing, and very intelligent.



Having you in my life now makes me want to move forward that much more. In time, I'll be able to move up there. So we need to be patient, and we'll makes this happen. I enjoyed writing you again and we'll speak soon. I love you very much, D





Sunday Night



Hi Honey,



Others are using the computer right now so I thought I'd write you another letter.



It sucks I'm not working yet. I'm very glad I got this job, but this delay means it will be that much longer to see you again. Hopefully, I'll hear from my boss this week.



I'm sorry about the phones here. At times, I ask you to call me not knowing another is using the phone. I need to buy some minutes to activate it again sometime.



I'm glad I have a place to stay, but community living sucks. The biggest complaint I have is the noise early in the morning. Some of the guys here sleep during the day, due in part to the fucked up drugs prescribed to them that sedate them. As a result, they get up in the middle of the night, and make alot of noise. They are not very considerate at all. I have ear plugs that help block out this noise a little bit.



I miss a lot about you, but I particularly miss holding you nest to me. I miss feeling your breath, and your warmth.



I will have to face legal issues in the future. Anything could happen, as I face these issues. Just contact those people, it I ever end up in jail. And I will write you, if that ever happens. Nothing really scares me these days. Anyway, I'll continue to chat with you online as long as I can. And I hope to continue to talk with you on the phone at least once a day. Thank you for keeping me company in these extremely long days.



I'm very happy we are together, and I love you very much.



D





Wednesday afternoon

Hi Honey,

Thank you for spending your days with me. I really enjoy your company, and the words you share with me.

At this point it is unlikely I will go to jail. But it I do, I'll again need you to contact these people, so please hold on to this list of people I have given you.

As soon as I have the money, I will come up there to see you. I need to see you again. In time, I will move up there to be with you. I love you very much. D

When we ...

These are handwritten letters from my fiancee, Carol. We've been together for about a year, and we show no sign of slowing down, with our love for each other. Every week, I hand write Carol a letter, and mail this to her with a card. And she writes me back as well. Her words to me warm my heart.



In no particular order, here are some letters Carol has written me:



Hello my love, Look at me- I'm writing you a letter. Expect the unexpected. Today, Julia and I went to Jelly Belly candy company for a free tour and free candy. It was something to do. I can tell already that she wishes she was in school again. And I wish I was with you. You would not believe how much I miss the weekends we had together.

I felt I was in utopia. Being with you means more than I can express into words. When we are together, I feel not a care in the world. As you can see, I am being one of those nick maes you call me: Icon girl. LOL. I keep hoping our ship comes into port soon. As you can tell, I can be very impatient when it comes to our happiness and well being.

I cannot thank you enough for moving closer to be near me. I just wish your situation was better for you. Hopefully, that woman you talked to can get you into the Guest House, where they can offer you better ways to secure employment. I am trying as well to get a job, but I have a barrier that is slowing down any opportunity I may have, and that is my age.

Who wants to hire anyone this old. Oh well, I must keep trying. I cannot wait to see you my love on Tuesday. My week is just plain blah when I don't see and feel your presence. I love you so much, Dan. I visualize the days when we are together permanently.

Waking up and saying good night to each other is what I crave so badly. Yes, we have to be patient for that day, but I can still think about it. I cannot wait to see you with your new eyeglasses. I bet you look good. Every night when I go to sleep, I pretend I am laying beside you with my head resting comfortably on your chest. Talk about paradise……

When I wake up in the morning, I pretend you are with me, and I'm just staring at you. I kiss you gently, as you open your eyes. And then we smile at each other. No words are spoken.

I shall be going now, but I will never be gone from you, my love. Forever is what we are. I love my Dan, and I can't wait till or for that day we are together forever.

Love, Carol (typist and ADD girl)




Hello My Sweet Dan,


I thought I would drop you a few lines. I'm in the writing mood.


Today, Julia and I went to see, "Beauty And The Beast", in 3D. As usual, I cried. It reminds me of us. We established our relationship on words, and what we expressed inside, and when we finally met in October, I saw the goodness and beauty you have inside, reflected on your outside appearance.


You are everything I could ever want, and more. I am one lucky gal. You don't know how happy i am that we will see each other soon. never in my wildest dreams was I expecting this so soon. When you told me about your fortune of receiving money out of the blue, I didn't know how to feel.


I actually cried with happiness when you asked me to get a bus ticket for you, for you to move up near me. I was practically numb and temporarily not here. I can't believe what is happening now with us, honey. I realize you are worried about a place to stay, but I am optimistic you will have a place, once you are here.


The people of Wisconsin value and have the utmost respect for military veterans like yourself in need of assistance of any kind. Milwaukee has quite a few services for veterans all around the city and surrounding area.


I am now watching the Packer game, and I hope they win. They are playing the New York Giants. Sure would be nice to see the Packers make it to Indianapolis in February (Super Bowl).


I will be calling some of those places offering shelter in Milwaukee. I think that from all those listings I have, you should be able to get something, once you are here.


My mom informed me that she may go to California in March. That would be so great, if she goes. She needs to get away from here just for the sanity of my daughter Julia and me. She is driving us nuts, because she is such a negative person all the time. The only one she says nice things about is my brother in California. His kids are the best, according to her. Blah, blah, blah. Gag me with a spoon, LOL.


I am so looking forward to our time together on February 3rd. It is a dream come true once again. I feel someone or something truly has our interests in mind to make it possible ...

Quote from dinohip51

Let's try an exercise, anyone game?

Okay, just pretend a major web provider and news outlet published an article in the Sports section with a headline saying,

HIGH-FIVE TO SUPERDAD: "I PUNCHED A HOLE IN HER DIAPHRAGM AND I'D DO IT AGAIN"

, and quoting our hero at multi-paragraph length on how the little gal just didn't really know what she wanted, and once she could just hold that baby she got over her, being female and all, weakness and some silly girlish notion that she could live as she chose. In fact, the poor ignorant thing actually left him for a year because she didn't want to get pregnant, but (of course, a guy can promise a girl anything, and should if it gets her back where she belongs) after he assured her it was okay if they didn't have a child together, he talked it over in the steam room at the club with a buddy who was like, "dude, just take a pin and put a tiny little hole in that fucker. She'll never know what hit her..."

Et cetera.

It may be tough, but let's just play it out. Anyone? Anyone?

In one of those moods tonight wondering who I can windup and be a right old miserable git.get days and weeks like this when the old black dog comes a visiting