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  1. Book Review: Real Boy’s Voices

    by , 2nd-March-2011 at 05:15 AM (Rise of the Zeta Male)
    Real Boys’ Voices by Dr. William Pollack was written 12 years ago. And while political climates have changed the issues in the book haven’t. Pollack went all out when he wrote this book. He traveled across America, searching for answers; asking questions and working with boys to learn all he could. Each chapter takes a look at a different issue. And while there are only a few pages of information and commentary from Pollack per chapter the rest of it is filled with the stories of real boys. While you can read all of the critical information in an hour or so, without the stories these boys share about their lives, it loses its true value.

    The majority of the book revolves what is referred to as “The Boy Code”. This refers to the overwhelming restrictions of masculinity and the toll it takes on a young boy. Physical, emotional, social, and psychological, The Boy Code is the root of many problems young men face today. It is essentially, the founding stages of the restrictions of masculinity. It is when boys learn that they cannot be open, have platonic female friends, or have any “feminine” interests. If they do they are shamed by society, mocked, or looked down upon. No one is innocent of not propagating this. Parents, teachers, girls, and even other boys feed the fire that forces our young men into the restrictions of traditional notions of masculinity from an early age.

    Another interesting aspect of the book was the chapter on bullying. This is one of the few chapters that had both an opening and a closing bit by Pollack. But what made it stand out even more is not only that it talked about what to do with a kid that is being bullied, but also how to take care of a boy that is bullying. It is not often that we hear about how to deal with bullies beyond punishing them, and this was a refreshing take on things. While there were no stories from bullies, Pollack puts in his professional input and argues that simply punishing is not going to ...
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  2. A Modest Proposal for Radfems

    by , 1st-March-2011 at 04:58 PM (The Mind of Silentblood)
    If you are reading this post I have the proposal for you! ;-)

     <TABLE style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN-LEFT: auto; MARGIN-RIGHT: auto" class=tr-caption-container cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 align=center><TBODY><TR><TD style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"></TD></TR><TR><TD style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" class=tr-caption>Why don't you go to 4chan?</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>Like seriously? It is the Internet Love Machine! We love everybody!

     <TABLE style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN-LEFT: auto; MARGIN-RIGHT: auto" class=tr-caption-container cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 align=center><TBODY><TR><TD style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"></TD></TR><TR><TD style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" class=tr-caption>We are! I promise!!</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>I think you'd fit right in! We know what you all do when we're not looking!



     <TABLE style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN-LEFT: auto; MARGIN-RIGHT: auto" class=tr-caption-container cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 align=center><TBODY><TR><TD style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"></TD></TR><TR><TD style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" class=tr-caption>We can even troll together! It will be all fun and games!!</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>Have fun!

    Updated 1st-March-2011 at 06:19 PM by silentblood

    Tags: humor
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    Feminism
  3. BDSM, Abuse, and Sexism

    by , 28th-February-2011 at 09:46 PM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    (This topic has been on my mind for a while, I feel I need to set some people straight. This is going to be a very squicky post, if BDSM or discussions about sexuality isn't your cup of tea, then I'd suggest you leave this post right now.)

    I am a lifestyle Domme(or Mistress if you prefer) and my husband is my slave, he has been collared for almost a year now. I do not dominate him because I am sexist or abusive, I dominate him because it turns me on and I am aroused at his screams of pain. This is true of the many other Tops I know, domination turns them on and it is sexually gratifying for them. However, like all good things there is a bad element to them, there are sexist and abusive people in BDSM. It is regrettable that something I enjoy is tainted by terrible people who I assure you, does not speak for me or the community at large.

    My husband slave is probably the man I love the most, he is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, I do not hate him, and I do not wish for him to be seriously hurt. And while accidents happen, and I do seriously hurt him on accident, I have a contingency plan to make sure he gets the help he needs, in case of a serious emergency. And if things go well during a scene, I give him aftercare, where I hold him and tell him how much I love him and that he can take a whip well or whatever. This is when we get intimate and make out and do all that other romantic stuff. I can't comment on other BDSM types but I assume that it is a similar process for them too.

    To an unenlightened outsider, D/s, M/s, or O&P is going to look like abuse but I assure you it's not.
    To quickly explain these abbreviations:
    D/s: Dominance/submission
    M/s: Master or Mistress/slave
    O&P: Ownership and possession

    The relationship I have with my slave is best described as a M/s relationship, these relationships are usually the equal of marriage and in some M/s relationships, both ...
    Tags: love, sexism
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  4. Men, we don’t hate them, we just ‘-ate’ them.

    by , 28th-February-2011 at 12:39 PM
    I was out a couple of weeks ago and got talking to two nice seeming young Italian women. We were getting along fine and our respective groups merged to produce a larger, more sociable one. The two women started having a chat in their native tongue and when I asked them what they were discussing they told me ‘Feminism, of course’. Is it so widespread and ‘normal’ for woman to be embroiled within the slimy tentacles of the feminist ideology that we men should expect two young, attractive and educated women to be engaging on it’s debate while out with other friends (including men) on a Friday night?

    ‘You are joking’ I irked in hope. No such luck I’m afraid. The less pretty of the two, presumably putting herself in the ‘more intelligent’ role, went on to explain to me that she doesn’t hate men and that all she wants is equality. Nice try! After I asked her about her views on abortion, child support, parental alienation, false rape claims, domestic violence, retirement age, prostate cancer research, disparity in criminal sentencing, state schools and sexism in the media she did what any good old man ‘-ater’ would do - she called me a misogynist and left. Her friend (the more attractive one) gave me her mobile number, so maybe we’ll meet again, I certainly hope so.

    This episode made me think about how feminists have conjured an idea that their values don’t amount to misandry, and that any opposition to their cause amounts to misogyny. How did they convince women that they don’t hate men? They obviously don’t hate men; they simply want to ‘-ate’ them, as follows:


    Dominate

    Ever heard the term ‘female empowerment’, one of the most popular phrases used by the feminists? Well if you have and you think they don’t want to dominate men then you should pop your hairy evil ass over to dictionary.com and look up a definition. Heck I’ll even do it for you (edited):

    empower
    –verb ...
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  5. Dealing with Extremists(Now With Moar Mockery![TM])

    by , 25th-February-2011 at 10:37 PM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    Whaddya mean "extremists?"
    Anyone who advocates for a misogynous or misandrous position at the extreme(eg people taking the SCUM Manifesto seriously).

    Th...th...they wanna hurt me?!? WHY!?!?! *gasp*
    Well of course they do, you're one of them and they don't like you. They think you have too many germs and you have cooties and you want to opppress them! Oh and apparently you're boring and dull(that's what a certain extremist told me about you, sorry.)

    Bu...bu...but I just want to be equal!
    That's what we all want, we want the freedom to have choices and to have happy lives of sunshine and rainbows and magic!

    What do I do to get rid of them?
    Well that's simple, you defeat them with the IAMRATIONALANDAWESOMEANATOR2000! Oh and I guess ignoring the piss ants works just as well(but it's not as fun or funny to play the rationality game with them.)

    I see. But doing nothing won't get rid of them!
    Damn, you sure are a whiner! They are the little flying shits in the wind that mean nothing in the grand scheme of things, no one is going to take them serious, getting your panties in a bunch over them is just going to have you drained and prone to the same behavior as them.

    How do I pick out a normal(read: sane) ___________ from the rest of the crowd?
    If they foam at the mouth, speak in hyperbole about political issues, have some sort of irrational prejudice, stink, and/or have some sort of wild look in the eye and you agree with them after this conversation <STRIKE>then you are a dumbass that deserves what you get</STRIKE> I mean you're still here? Damn, I must be some sort of awesome speaker-upper!

    That was mean!
    Tough shit! Got any other questions? Or are you going to continue to be a dumbass?

    One more. Um....how do I avoid becoming an extremist?
    Really? That was your question? What a <STRIKE>stupid</STRIKE> ...
    Tags: extremists, humor
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  6. Agreements! Disagreements! We all Have Them!

    by , 24th-February-2011 at 09:05 PM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    So...I was reading this on Feminist Critics, and I feel that it was begging for a blog post! The title of the page is entitled, "What Feminism got Right." Now, many of my MRA readers and some of a particular neutral variety might disagree, but I have for the most part decided that both sides of the gender war thingy mabobber are at least right.

    So...to make a stand on where I stand with some issues and feminist ideas:


    1. There is a gender system
    Males and females are socialized into masculinities and femininities. Masculine and feminine behavior is not simply determined by biology.
    Agreed. This has been known to psychologists for at least 30 years, just pick your theory of choice of how it happens(except Freud for the love the gods anything but Freud). Remember kiddies, gender does not equal biological sex.


    2. The gender system is damaging
    Masculinities and femininities can be damaging and dehumanizing to both males and females.
    Agreed. We should let kids decide for themselves who THEY are.


    3. Women are oppressed
    Women have suffered various types of systematic mistreatment throughout history, and continue to do so in the present. This mistreatment is unjust. If it can be called “oppression,” then women suffer gender oppression.
    Disagreed, I might have been open to the idea maybe in ancient times or the Middle Ages, but to make that claim from the Renaissance up is frankly ridiculous.


    4. Sexism exists
    Sexism—hateful, contemptuous, bigoted, or discriminatory attitudes based on sex—is real. Sexism can be institutionalized socially and politically. The feminist identification and critique of misogyny has mitigated it to a degree, though institutionalized misogyny still exists.
    Agreed and disagreed. Misogyny, for the most part, is a reaction to misandry that men face(but I do agree that both of these attitudes could and should be addressed) . I do not ...
    Tags: sexism
    Categories
    Feminism
  7. Domestic Violence is NOT physical comedy

    by , 22nd-February-2011 at 04:12 AM (Rise of the Zeta Male)
    A recent Pepsi commercial has created a quite a stir on the internet. Apparently women abusing men in a marriage didn’t go over as well as they planned. Everyone from the False Rape Society to NPR has been rather angry about this. Still the world is not in complete agreement. The core belief behind the opposing argument is “so now any time a man gets hurt it is domestic violence or misandry? Whatever happened to physical comedy?”

    You would think this would be a clear cut case. The woman is physically harming her husband because she doesn’t like the way he is behaving. In order to correct the way he acts he has to get kicked, shoved into a pie, and has a bar of soap shoved into his mouth. With a bit of bad luck he would have been hit in the head with a can as well.

    And yes, you are expected to laugh at this.

    Still on a broader level, there is a point to be made. Do physical comedy and sexism overlap? In the media for some reason they do, but if you take a step back it is easy to clarify. There is quite a bit of “humor” found it men getting slapped around by women for doing stupid things. Boyfriends are hit by girlfriends, husbands are pummeled by wives, and girls beat the living daylights out of boys. Sometimes it is adults that end up hurting each other (The episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where they are selling the Girl Scout cookies and Raymond gets beaten up and his wife has to save him).

    I look at this in the same way as I see the Pepsi ad. The physical harm is meant for correctional purposes.

    When we try to reshape people’s behavior in real life and we see them being physically harmed it qualifies as abuse. It’s a basic aspect of positive punishment in the psychological concept of operant conditioning. Increase the burden and pain on someone and their behavior will change out of fear. It’s a simple concept that is rather nasty in its most extremes.

    This is a key aspect ...
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  8. Gender Roles Redux!

    by , 21st-February-2011 at 11:02 PM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    "In the past, neither sex had power; both sexes has roles: women's role was raise children; men's role was raise money."-Warren Farrell
    I have been thinking about this quote lately and considering the history of our species, and I have been considering the sexism involved when people don't fit into a predefined role. It's just like this TV Tropes page, there are all kinds of double standards when it comes to either gender, like apparently to many men I am an Evil Matriarch, because I'm a Dominant female and apparently my submissive husband is disgusting, or at least according to some. Now consider the sexism involved in claiming how a woman and man are supposed to act, and if you break the mold, you're Wrong(TM). It is my honest opinion that breaking the mold can be a good thing.

    Not only do gender roles affect our sex lives, with sexist assumptions, it also impacts our choices. The sexism my husband faces for being a house husband, willingly, is appalling. Never before have I seen people make sexist assumptions about my husband because he's submissive and he took my last name. He's told by men and women alike that he isn't a "real" man because he's happy cooking and cleaning in our household. Oh noes! My husband isn't a "real" man!

    I love how people are all keen on enforcing a gender paradigm that doesn't work now. Most people do not realize the sexism of looking at people for what they are and not who they are. Now my previous post was focused on men, but the same ideas apply to women. Some women are masculine and some women are feminine, there is nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is berating men and women who choose to be different. That is pure sexism, in my opinion.

    I know that many people will refuse to accept that people do transgress against their own sex and gender expectations, but, I believe that is a form of sexism. My husband and I transgress gender norms, and I'm pretty sure that ...
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  9. The reality of relationships

    by , 21st-February-2011 at 10:47 PM
    The truth is out there, as Fox Mulder tells us, and it isn't very far away at all...

    The truth about relationships? Well that's a little more difficult to discover, mostly because of the female-centric media stuffing rubbish down our throats. If we were to listen to them, as instructed by our feminist overlords, we would come to a very different conclusion as to what is the undeniable truth, which I will discuss later. I'm splitting this post into 2 parts: 1. The feminist version of reality and 2. Reality. I sincerely hope it is evident why.

    1. The feminist version of reality
    The evil bigots that call themselves feminists would have us believe that, for the most part, (apart from when he is truly whipped) all 'normal' modern relationships follow a similar trend. Their usual bumf would normally go something like as follows:

    The man is so powerful (physically, emotionally and politically) that the woman is subjected to his every whimsical demand, or suffer from 'violence' (apparently a fate worse than death for poor defenseless women, although men are obviously immune to it). She is sexually oppressed by the man, who denies her the freedom to express her sexual desires towards other men. She is forced, by her evilpenis wielding partner, to either stay at home and look after the children he forced her to have (by insisting on having sex); or to slave away at work to pay for the children he forced her to have because he (as a powerful male patriarch) is too lazy to earn enough to support them alone. If she stays at home she is forced, by our patriarchal society, to watch misogynistic shows on TV (during the break of her heavy housewife schedule) that are aimed at men and the maintenance of patriarchal power. If she goes to work she faces much discrimination in the workplace; for example she is less likely to be considered for a job, she will earn less, there is a limit to how far she can progress in said ...
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  10. How ideologies change and the purpose of my discussion forum.

    by , 19th-February-2011 at 09:20 PM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    When I started this blog, I clearly identified as both an ifeminist and a MRA, but due to some recent changes in many of my pre-concieved notions of gender politics I have decided to lay down my new position on the state of things and drop BOTH labels, I am neither, I am a unique person. I have came to the opinion that neither ideology captures my feeling of the current state of affairs between men and women nor does neither quite fit my goals or attitudes regarding sexism in any form or any other form of bigotry. I have decided that is imperative to aknowledge that both sides of the spectrum in gender politics are indeed, at least partially correct, in that misandry and misogyny exists in some form in our culture and society.

    My goals(and the reason for my discussion board) are thusly:
    •Address all forms of sexism when I see it.
    •Cultivate a stronger relationship between reasonable and fair feminists(MRAs: they do exist) and MRAs(Feminists: they do exist) and push for reasonable discourse between the two camps in addressing the bigger problem of sexism in our culture.
    •Support initiatives based on documented and unbiased facts, like the facts on SAVE and RAINN.
    •Oppose the extremists and unreasonable people on both sides.
    •Encourage men and women to accept their individual responsibility in creating the state of things.
    •And finally, engage in open discourse with others(who identify as neither) who are open to the idea of solving the problem of sexism, in a polite and respectful manner.

    In conclusion, my goals and ideology have change drastically in the last few weeks due to my experiences in both the femisphere and manosphere. I do not oppose either feminism or the MRM, as a whole, because I do think that both sides are at least partially right, but I do oppose certain elements in both movements, and I do not identify as either. Period. If I agree with a particular issue in the feminist camp it does not ...
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