A real Man
by, 9th-May-2012 at 06:59 PM (495 Views)
In this day and age there are few absolutes. Out of the millions of things that have no exact definition, the idea of masculinity is one of the most muddled set of ideas in world culture. While feminism has garnered a negative, macho, violent image to put on the male identity, many still question the idea.
The lack of identity not only confuses many males, but puts them into a box of conformity. Namely the adjustment of ones desires to fit the desires of those who decide whether you are a real man or not (females, supervisors, the government)...
And then there are the lists. Created by women and other men to box adult maleness into an idea. Askmen.com seems to be a whole site dedicated to fitting men into different boxes so that they are more "successful" in this society. Everybody desires to define the "Real Man" as there is no definition. One never sees a list trying to define a "real woman" as they probably don't exist.
Women are not required to conform and be controlled as men are. They are encouraged to go out and be a man for a day, then be a child, then a woman. Femininity is defined mainly as free, fun, good. Women are often alleviated from responsibility for this reason. They can pick a fight with a man as if they are a man and cower down and become a "woman" to get other men to clean up the mess. While a generalization it plays true more than often with many if not the majority of women.
Masculinity in contrast is defined for conformity. If a man doesn't conform, he is deadbeat, lazy, ill-responsible, disrespectful, etc. It is taboo to debate(and often disagree) with females or supervisors even when the man (average guy) is more knowledgeable on the topic. This conformity isn't excluded to conversation but to many if not most aspects of a male's life.
Real men don't wear shorts (you look like a boy), real men don't keep change in a coffee can, they shave but not so close that they don't have whiskers, they don't drive a van, they always pay, never say no, never complain about a problem, etc. The amount of frivolous demands for men to conform is endless... So why are people, and specifically women trying to make men conform? It is to make them social slaves.
While the claim seems a bit outlandish, look at the evidence. Men are considered much more disposable than women in modern society across the board. Most men are pawns in the game of war, and drones in time of peace serving companies and their wives. In the home, the woman is usually the one to manage the money, look and feel of the house, and the children. Men are limited to home repair, killing bugs, taking out the trash (the more dangerous house jobs). Often the man isn't allowed to contribute to anything else in the house due to the incompetence the women perceives he has. Popular media reinforces these ideas in adverts and through television shows. Men need to be trained up by their superior wives, girlfriends, daughters, and female coworkers/supervisors.
Social slavery is being pushed on men mainly to override a very masculine trait. The desire to be free. Man is often happiest when free and will do almost anything to gain that freedom even if it doesn't exist. A free man cannot be controlled or forced to act on somebody else's behalf. To override the will to be free, society (media especially), use the other main strong male desire to fight against the first. The will to reproduce...
The male desire to reproduce is something the society constantly pushes onto men as their primary goal. In addition the media has narrowed down that desire to specifically one part of the idea... sex! Female sexuality is flamboyantly displayed. Aside from the porn/sex industry almost every other industry has a level of sex involved in its advertising. Cars, alcohol, and even work-boots have a tie with sex. Putting the focus on sex minimizes the desire to be free...
In addition to minimizing the desire to be free, society is further and further trying to address the female desire to be safe. Now don't get me wrong, many women want to be free and many men want to be safe, but as a generalization it rings true. This safety culture put out by various governments counteracts the will to be free. One who is free, is responsible for their own safety and choices. One who is safe, has somebody else take the responsibility for maintaining their interaction with the unknown/danger and must do as their protector does in order to be safe. Since the feminist movement, there has been little progress on dealing with issues they claim to focus on, when compared to the safety laws that have been put in place in the US and many other countries. Progressive laws in particular, are made to "protect" one group or another.
Safety is important to most men but not as important as freedom is. More and more men are waking up. Men want to be free, but before we can we need to define who we are. Men need to no longer swim in a swamp of male identity but define what men really are and stick with it. The men who have, are here, in the MRM.