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  1. PSA: To everyone who has a problem with me.

    by , 20th-May-2011 at 12:54 AM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    I do not apologize for my personal views. I do not see the point. People disagree, I disagree. We get on with our lives. Despite my personal views regarding social issues and my personal politics. I do not apologize. I don't apologize for having an extreme disdain for statism, immorality as I see it, or even my views on the ideal society.

    I think strict gender roles are unhealthy and immoral. I think most sexism comes from unfair stereotypes which are related to gender role. I advocate androgynous approaches to humanity instead of a binary imposed by those who have a sexist agenda.

    I advocate for liberation and not purely legal equality. I argue for a society built with the twin pillars of love and freedom. I believe in the inherent worth of all human beings. I believe that the horrors done in the name of "equality" and "peace" are the worst horrors done to humanity.

    I believe morality comes from within and not some bullshit rulebook. I believe that humanity isn't flawed due to some crime committed by our ancestors.

    Justice comes from love and not some barely comprehensible ideal that can mean anything. I believe that despite my differences with everyone else, I can help make a positive difference in the lives of men, women. and children.

    If you have a problem with any of this: Fuck you. I don't have to conform to what you want me to be or how you envision that I should believe or act. My opinions are just that--opinions. They are not facts. I form opinions everyday about different social issues and other issues every single day. I don't have to apologize to make you feel better or to crush my own opinions.

    Musings of a Pro-Human Woman: PSA: To everyone who has a problem with me.
    Tags: interlude
  2. The Gallows

    by , 17th-May-2011 at 02:26 AM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    Are you hanging by a thread,
    or swinging from a rope?
    Don't think we don't see your scars
    Are you afraid of who you are?
    Are you afraid of who you are?!
    --Atreyu, Gallows

    A recent article at the Spearhead dealt with nature versus nurture and how gender roles developed. I'm... impressed that the article put what I have been struggling to express for a while into words. Though I personally disagree with some of the articles conclusions I feel compelled to actually write about choice as a concept.

    I will agree that putting everything to genetics is a bad idea, it's not true for one, and for another it would make morality impossible. I can accept that I am genetically predisposed towards certain behaviors, but I also accept that I have the ability to fight my urges. Genetics influence a lot of things, but they don't influence culture or choices, but they can influence the character of our choices and culture.

    Ethical choice demands that we do the honorable and correct thing, and avoiding terrible choices.

    "Morality was not brought down from Mount Sinai carved on tablets- moral is a function of the human soul, as old as mankind itself." -Carl Jung

    Humans naturally do know how to behave, how to care for others and protect others. They know how to love, make bonds, nurture, and live. If you ask people today about the natural goodness of humanity, most of them will laugh at you and point to this atrocity or that war, as proof that anyone who believes in our "natural goodness" is just being naive. But this, is a function of the dominant myth that people have been taught to believe. Many will ignore all of the natural wonders and goodness that we are capable of, in favor of the horror that we are capable of, and use that one-sided perspective as their guideline for defining what is "human". That situation is, to me, intolerable.

    I have faith in ...
    Tags: morality
  3. The Zeta Concept and Jung: WALK!

    by , 12th-May-2011 at 02:35 AM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    Is there no standard anymore? What it takes, who I am, where I've been . Belong You can't be something you're not. Be yourself, by yourself. Stay away from me. A lesson learned in life. Known from the dawn of time. -Pantera, Walk

    We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses. - Carl Jung

    The basic Zeta male concept is defying social norms in favor of individuality is going to be the basis of this concept first created by Paul Elam and has spread like a meme in the MRA community. Carl Jung basically said that individuation is the only way someone can be psychologically whole. Individuation is the gradual integration and unification of the self through the resolution of successive layers of psychological conflict.

    In this article, I am going to expand on this concept with Jungian psychology and apply it to women as well.

    The Persona is the mask worn to greet the world. Optimally, this does not undermine the authenticity of the self. Its primary function is to navigate the space between the inner world of ego with its surrounding self and the outer world of values and culture. How these worlds rub up against one another is negotiated by the persona. The hidden or unconscious aspects of oneself, both good and bad, which the ego has either repressed or never recognized, is called the Shadow.

    Considering that society and culture often makes demands of both women and men, it is feasible that we create personas that force us to act in a way that is not authentic to ourselves, one that neglects our shadows. The Zeta Male and Zeta Female defy social expectations from all external factors and looks to themselves to create something authentic, but that requires the Hero/ine to descend into the nightmarish to confront our Shadows.

    The Shadow develops in us, because as we grow and absorb our culture, we naturally repress parts of our nature because they are ...
    Tags: gender, jung
  4. Violence Against Men

    by , 14th-March-2011 at 11:09 PM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    Let me begin with a story about a man. This man is a good man, he is an accomplished pianist and vocalist always ready with a joke and hearty laugh, lives in a completely straight edge lifestyle, probably the most generous and kind man I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, and is the bravest person I know. There was a time when this man was in a D/s relationship with another, the two men loved each other very much or so it seemed, this other man was a controlling and abusive man, and caused the good man to fall into a drug infested lifestyle. I met this man in a record store, recently escaped from the abusive situation, and yet still enthralled by drugs and alcohol.

    This ladies and gentlemen, is my husband. I have seen the scars of his past abuse and what it has done to him. He has turned into a hardcore submissive man, who bears the scars of what his abuser has done. I admire his ability to forgive in spite of what he has went through and I also admire his ability to trust someone enough to get involved into another D/s relationship.

    My husband is exactly why I oppose the Duluth Model, yes, my husband was abused by a man, but I'm dwelling on the fact that the victim was a man. Men are victims too and often people dismiss and marginalize men who have been abused by their lovers. This is unacceptable.

    I have grown up in a extremely liberal home, I'm not ashamed to admit that, I love my parents, but I never knew about abuse in relationships( I was sheltered) until I went into college that I became aware of the violence in relationships. I admit that I believed the men were abusers and that women and just women were victims, this is an incredibly naive view of domestic violence. When I met my husband, I held incredibly naive views about abuse, but I have gained experience as a psychologist, active member in the BDSM community, and by doing research on the topic and learned about the plight of male victims.

    When ...

    Updated 14th-March-2011 at 11:16 PM by Lady Catherine

    Tags: abuse
  5. Gender, Gender Essentialism, and Gender Role

    by , 8th-March-2011 at 07:40 PM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    I have dealt with this topic before countless times in forums and elsewhere, but I think I need to write about gender in a definitive way that deals with gender as construct. In order to avoid confusion, gender is not sex. People often confuse the two in and will often use them interchangeably, however, in a purely scientific sense the two terms are not synonymous and are quite different things. Masculinity and femininity are indeed very muddy concepts in psychology, because cultures define it differently and while certainly some broad strokes could be made and males act like this or similar ideas, that's just speaking in generalities.

    I am a constructionist, I believe gender is socialized into us, I have very real issues with gender essentialists for many other reasons besides the sexism implied in "natural" gender role(which I do not believe is natural at any rate), the fact of the matter is, is that people should have the right to decide for themselves and I do not believe that others have a right to decide what is right for an individual person.

    Gender develops with several factors, parental influence, society, and biology places a huge part on how gender develops. The entire "boys are blue and girls are pink" is not always true. Gender essentialism is very bad, because it eventually leads to incredibly bad stereotypes that males and females suffer from. I do not doubt that there are other women like me that have some masculine traits and interests and I do not doubt that there are other men who have some feminine traits and interests. It is really complicated with people who identify as neither or both or something else.

    What does this all mean? It just means that gender mean more than man and woman, and it means that people choosing to create their own identities is becoming more acceptable. No, I am not arguing that being a man or being a woman is bad by default, but being gender queer or something else ...
  6. Power is not Privilege

    by , 4th-March-2011 at 07:59 PM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    I have dealt with the topic of power before in a previous post where I rehashed a point made by Trinity of SM Feminist, but I think a better explanation of what I think about power is in order. Power, in my opinion is an important concept for everyone to understand, but how do I define it in a way that satisfies everyone and expresses a complicated concept(at least in my mind)?

    I have divided power into two categories and a host of meanings attached to them: healthy power and unhealthy power. With healthy power comes healthy relationships, rational power exchanges, and a just society. With unhealthy power comes abusive relationships and injustice. Clearly, power is a dangerous and useful tool that can be abused.

    Power has the potential to be used for good and bad. In a perfect world, power would only be used for justice and good, but alas, we do not live in a perfect world. We live in a world where people have unhealthy and healthy forms of power. Distinguishing between the differences of both forms of power is important as well, so we can address these problems in a rational and just way

    I guess the best comparison is that power is a knife, it is dangerous to use, but incredibly useful. When I hear Radfems talking about how hierarchy and power needs to be removed from our lives because of the potential for abuse. I feel that is like telling us that we can't have knives because they can harm somebody. Yes, I think that healthy power is useful and neccesary for the world to go round and I'd love for unhealthy power to go away, but that will never happen. Instead we have to distinguish between the two and address the bad power.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that power is not bad by default, just like a number of things, and that it is our responsibility to deal with the bad stuff and promote the good stuff. Yes, men deserve healthy power as much as women deserve healthy power, and we need to minimize the bad unhealthy ...
    Tags: power, privileges
  7. We're All Blood Brothers and Sisters.

    by , 2nd-March-2011 at 11:42 PM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    I have been thinking for a while about how to express my growing ideology about gender politics and my philosophy about gender. We are all blood brothers and sisters. I would like for you to read that a hundred times and repeat it that many more times. This is what we are. We share in each others triumphs, love, hatred, and failures. We are destined to live passionate lives with the other sex, no matter what the emotion felt is. This is fact, whether you like it or not.

    There was a period of time when we actually didn't have these silly notions of a battle of the sexes. Both sexes were stuck in roles, however which continues to taint how both sexes interact in an age of fluid gender roles. The current predicament has more and more people avoiding the opposite sex like the plague, which is not good for a healthy society to flourish.

    It is seriously the squeeze here people, and I am seriously wondering if anyone else feels this way:

    All of our lives we ask ourselves is this really what's meant for us,
    take a cold hard look at yourself, it takes heart to face your reality.
    Am I the only one who sees the reality? We all want to love and have another person(or people) in our lives and we aren't really programmed to hate one another by default. Personally, I am incapable of hate(I don't even hate my husband's parents for disowning him), and I am incapable of despising people just because of their ideology, I might passionately disagree with it, but I certainly won't hate you for it.

    There are those who I feel are unable to acknowledge that others can suffer from problems as much as they can, regrettably this attitude must be corrected, it is not all about your specific demographic, it is about PEOPLE who could have very different experiences than you. Perhaps that man did really experience that and isn't making it up and perhaps that lesbian did suffer that discrimination. It is ok
    Tags: hoping, sexism
  8. BDSM, Abuse, and Sexism

    by , 28th-February-2011 at 09:46 PM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    (This topic has been on my mind for a while, I feel I need to set some people straight. This is going to be a very squicky post, if BDSM or discussions about sexuality isn't your cup of tea, then I'd suggest you leave this post right now.)

    I am a lifestyle Domme(or Mistress if you prefer) and my husband is my slave, he has been collared for almost a year now. I do not dominate him because I am sexist or abusive, I dominate him because it turns me on and I am aroused at his screams of pain. This is true of the many other Tops I know, domination turns them on and it is sexually gratifying for them. However, like all good things there is a bad element to them, there are sexist and abusive people in BDSM. It is regrettable that something I enjoy is tainted by terrible people who I assure you, does not speak for me or the community at large.

    My husband slave is probably the man I love the most, he is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, I do not hate him, and I do not wish for him to be seriously hurt. And while accidents happen, and I do seriously hurt him on accident, I have a contingency plan to make sure he gets the help he needs, in case of a serious emergency. And if things go well during a scene, I give him aftercare, where I hold him and tell him how much I love him and that he can take a whip well or whatever. This is when we get intimate and make out and do all that other romantic stuff. I can't comment on other BDSM types but I assume that it is a similar process for them too.

    To an unenlightened outsider, D/s, M/s, or O&P is going to look like abuse but I assure you it's not.
    To quickly explain these abbreviations:
    D/s: Dominance/submission
    M/s: Master or Mistress/slave
    O&P: Ownership and possession

    The relationship I have with my slave is best described as a M/s relationship, these relationships are usually the equal of marriage and in some M/s relationships, both ...
    Tags: love, sexism
  9. Dealing with Extremists(Now With Moar Mockery![TM])

    by , 25th-February-2011 at 10:37 PM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    Whaddya mean "extremists?"
    Anyone who advocates for a misogynous or misandrous position at the extreme(eg people taking the SCUM Manifesto seriously). wanna hurt me?!? WHY!?!?! *gasp*
    Well of course they do, you're one of them and they don't like you. They think you have too many germs and you have cooties and you want to opppress them! Oh and apparently you're boring and dull(that's what a certain extremist told me about you, sorry.)

    Bu...bu...but I just want to be equal!
    That's what we all want, we want the freedom to have choices and to have happy lives of sunshine and rainbows and magic!

    What do I do to get rid of them?
    Well that's simple, you defeat them with the IAMRATIONALANDAWESOMEANATOR2000! Oh and I guess ignoring the piss ants works just as well(but it's not as fun or funny to play the rationality game with them.)

    I see. But doing nothing won't get rid of them!
    Damn, you sure are a whiner! They are the little flying shits in the wind that mean nothing in the grand scheme of things, no one is going to take them serious, getting your panties in a bunch over them is just going to have you drained and prone to the same behavior as them.

    How do I pick out a normal(read: sane) ___________ from the rest of the crowd?
    If they foam at the mouth, speak in hyperbole about political issues, have some sort of irrational prejudice, stink, and/or have some sort of wild look in the eye and you agree with them after this conversation <STRIKE>then you are a dumbass that deserves what you get</STRIKE> I mean you're still here? Damn, I must be some sort of awesome speaker-upper!

    That was mean!
    Tough shit! Got any other questions? Or are you going to continue to be a dumbass?

    One more. do I avoid becoming an extremist?
    Really? That was your question? What a <STRIKE>stupid</STRIKE> ...
    Tags: extremists, humor
  10. Gender Roles Redux!

    by , 21st-February-2011 at 11:02 PM (Musings of a Pro-Human Woman)
    "In the past, neither sex had power; both sexes has roles: women's role was raise children; men's role was raise money."-Warren Farrell
    I have been thinking about this quote lately and considering the history of our species, and I have been considering the sexism involved when people don't fit into a predefined role. It's just like this TV Tropes page, there are all kinds of double standards when it comes to either gender, like apparently to many men I am an Evil Matriarch, because I'm a Dominant female and apparently my submissive husband is disgusting, or at least according to some. Now consider the sexism involved in claiming how a woman and man are supposed to act, and if you break the mold, you're Wrong(TM). It is my honest opinion that breaking the mold can be a good thing.

    Not only do gender roles affect our sex lives, with sexist assumptions, it also impacts our choices. The sexism my husband faces for being a house husband, willingly, is appalling. Never before have I seen people make sexist assumptions about my husband because he's submissive and he took my last name. He's told by men and women alike that he isn't a "real" man because he's happy cooking and cleaning in our household. Oh noes! My husband isn't a "real" man!

    I love how people are all keen on enforcing a gender paradigm that doesn't work now. Most people do not realize the sexism of looking at people for what they are and not who they are. Now my previous post was focused on men, but the same ideas apply to women. Some women are masculine and some women are feminine, there is nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is berating men and women who choose to be different. That is pure sexism, in my opinion.

    I know that many people will refuse to accept that people do transgress against their own sex and gender expectations, but, I believe that is a form of sexism. My husband and I transgress gender norms, and I'm pretty sure that ...
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