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Dan Abshear

  1. Hitting Bottom: A Personal Story

    by , 17th-October-2011 at 12:07 AM
    "We were train wrecks for different reasons, so we were perfect for each other."

    by Dan Abshear

    About two years ago, my then wife of 20 years decided to falsely accuse me of violently abusing her. A restraining order was issued against me by her as well, so I was evicted out of my own home. Soon after that, I was arrested related to these false accusations and wrongfully incarcerated for over a month.

    While in jail, I spoke with quite a few men who were abused by the family law system. Most shocking to me at the time were those men on their way to prison for failure to pay child support. Most of these men were without income, yet they were convicted of this 'crime."

    In April of last year, I spent a week on the mental health ward of the veterans administration hospital in Atlanta, for suicidal ideation, among other mental issues. They determined I was a drug addict, so I checked myself into the veterans administration substance abuse treatment program in May of last year.

    After completing the VA substance abuse treatment program, I was homeless once again. The VA has a homeless program for veterans, so I entered this program. They placed me in an apartment with 5 other men, whose lives had been wrecked, as mine had been only two years ago.

    Most of the men I encountered and became friends within the VA system were very poor, and older black men. It's a subculture I was completely unaware of, until this program. Many had spent a great deal of their lives incarcerated, and many were drug addicts. However, most of these men are very intelligent, and kinder than your average American citizen.

    In less than a year, three of these friends I acquired took their own lives. Their pain quite obviously was equal or greater than the pain I continue to experience due to being destroyed by my ex wife. I ...
  2. School Asked My Child If I Molested Her

    by , 17th-October-2011 at 12:01 AM
    "I think the school staff were man-haters, and resented me because, as a doting father, I upset their prejudices. They thought incest was the only possible explanation for a father's love."

    by Dan Abshear

    In January 2007, staff at my eight-year-old daughter's public school in Missouri interrogated her for an hour to determine if I had molested her. There was absolutely no reason for them to do this.

    I worked out of my home at the time and largely raised my daughter, while my now ex-wife worked. I had established rituals during her school days.
    These included taking her to our favorite local doughnut shop in the morning and often bringing lunch to her at school.

    During my visits to my daughter's school. I always found the teachers to be very warm and kind people.

    However, the administrative staff were rather distant judging by their body language, and their unwillingness to interact with me. They were mostly middle-aged women.

    On one unforgettable day, they interrogated my daughter for about an hour. When I picked her up, she was crying.

    She said she was asked leading questions such as, "did your daddy ever touch you there? Do you think your daddy likes touching you there?" The answer to such questions was 'no,' of course.

    I spoke with her for hours that night, which was difficult for me. In the days that followed, she did not appear permanently scared by that interrogation.

    My daughter was completely unaware that parents were even capable of such acts described in graphic detail by school staff.

    There was no evidence for these allegations. My daughter was and is a straight "A" student, and an incredibly balanced individual. What caused my daughter's school to make these outrageous charges and traumatize ...
    Fathers , Feminism , Legal Matters

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