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  1. #1
    jwr4209's Avatar
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    Finally ONT budgets to help male sexual assault survivors! but guess who's unhappy?

    FEMINISTS?!

    wait, but that's money that could have gone towards helping women! surely that's not right?

    Why sudden change of heart? | Joe Belanger | Columnists | Comment | London Free Press
    Why sudden change of heart?
    By JOE BELANGER, THE LONDON FREE PRESS
    Last Updated: September 25, 2010 12:00am

    Show me the money and I'll give you some love.

    Yeah, it sounds like something you might hear at a brothel or from a hitchhiker on London's Dundas St. E.

    You don't expect to hear it from women who have built careers on helping sexually abused women.

    But that's what appears to be happening over a plan by the province to spend $2 million to help thousands of men who were sexually abused as children.

    The province is putting up the money over 15 months for the creation of an Ontario-wide crisis and referral centre and four regional centres overseeing counseling for male survivors. A key condition is that only established, non-profit, board-run agencies can apply.

    Therein lies the problem. These victims have been ignored for so long that few, if any, male-led organizations qualify for the funding.

    Over the years, appeals for help to women's organizations, such as the Sexual Assault Centre in London, have fallen on deaf ears. But now that there's money on the table, the centre, led by executive director Louise Pitre, is apparently changing its tune. It is exploring the idea of applying to become the lead agency in Western Ontario.

    Pitre claims in a Free Press story SACL changed its mandate a couple of years ago to include male victims of sexual assault, yet there is not a word of this change on its website or in its annual report for 2008-2009.

    Suddenly, with the provincial money on the table, Pitre says SACL has a "new vision . . . to create a world without sexual violence. It is inclusive of everybody."

    I'm not buying it, not without evidence they walk the talk.

    Pitre went on to say, "Male survivors need help. It would be a shame with all the expertise and experience we have we would sit back and not help."

    Yet, John Swales, whose family successfully sued the Roman Catholic church for the abuses suffered at the hands of Rev. Barry Glendinning, says he approached Pitre two years ago for help getting services for male victims and was told "men will have to find their own way." Further, Swales claims Pitre has not consulted any male victims, a claim Pitre did not deny.

    So, Pitre may have the talk, but there is no evidence she's walking the talk, other than a plan to apply for this funding.

    Pitre claims to have the "expertise and experience" to help men. Yet experts, including Tom Wilken, author of Rebuilding Your House of Self-Respect for male survivors, and counsellors at Family Services London have said the experience and needs of male victims of sexual assault, while similar, are significantly different from women.

    The hypocrisy in SACL's bid is not lost either. After arguing for decades that only women can help women, how can Pitre now argue her group should be involved in services for male victims?

    Recognition these men need help was a long time coming, mostly due to media coverage of atrocities such as Mount Cashel and the tireless efforts and courage of victims such as Swales, Robert Berube and experts John Field, Rick Goodwin and Wilken.

    Society has ignored these men, denying their accusations against family, priests, teachers and coaches, often accusing them of lying, telling them to forget and get over it.

    Many of these victims chose to remain silent, too embarrassed about the violation of their masculinity.

    Instead of building help centres, society built prisons, where it's estimated more than 50% of inmates are victims of childhood sexual abuse.

    That's because with no help available, the lives of these men became filled with anger, rage, violence, jail and prison, distrust of authority, addiction, sexual confusion, dysfunctional relationships, broken careers, broken families, self-loathing and unfulfilled potential.

    In contrast -- and with no small dose of irony -- the women's movement, to its everlasting credit, argued, demanded and built a vast infrastructure of shelters and support facilities for abused women and female sexual-assault victims.

    The irony is many of the women and children who depend on these supports are victims of those same male victims society chose to ignore.

    Both Wilken and Goodwin expressed concern about the "opportunistic tone" of women's agencies and the threat it could pose to the success of the program.

    There is simply too much at stake for these victims. SACL needs to back off and the province needs to find a different solution.

    Perhaps it is time some of the law firms making millions off the backs of victims step up and help find the appropriate fix to this timely issue, pro bono.

    Yeah, it's astounding how much love you can buy with money.
    Services for abused males deplorable | Comment | London Free Press
    Services for abused males deplorable
    REBUTTAL
    By ROBERT BERUBE, SPECIAL TO QMI AGENCY
    Last Updated: October 9, 2010 12:00am

    Regarding the column Why a sudden change of heart? and the rebuttals Sexual abuse centres initiated programs for male survivors and One step in evolution of service provision.

    I am a male survivor of childhood sexual abuse and an advocate for the cause of male survivors of sexual abuse and violence and female survivors of abuse by clergy.

    I would like to thank Joe Belanger for writing the column. I may not condone the images he used, but I believe his intent was to shock the readers because the issue of services for male survivors of sexual abuse and violence is deplorable. The fact that SACL and other sexual abuse centres across Ontario, who in the past vehemently refused services to male survivors and victims are now requesting funds for programs from the Ministry of the Attorney General is disgusting. The fact that SACL has not consulted male survivor organizations and male victims is unbelievable.

    The rebuttals by Nicole Pietsch of Ontario Coalition of Rape Crisis Centres and Laura Lewis and Kathryn Eggert of Sexual Assault Centre of London display callousness, lack of sensitivity, lack of knowledge and distortion of facts and issues towards male abuse victims and survivors.

    Three years ago, male survivor groups did a telephone survey of services offered to male survivors in major cities of Ontario. All the sexual assault centres in those cities refused to offer services to male survivors. It is deceitful for Pietsch to state that "many sexual assault centres across Ontario have initiated support programs for men." The reality is a few SACs have started minimal programs for men when it became clear during the Cornwall inquiry that the attorney general's office would in time offer funds for male survivors. These programs do not compare to the services offered to women and girls who have been sexually abused and are mostly after hours and very limited in their scope.

    They do not amount to even 1% of the total services offered.

    Laura Lewis and Kathryn Eggert list what the Sexual Assault Centre London did for male survivors in the last year. This smoke-and-mirror tactic only accentuates the penury of services offered and by mentioning it they demoralize all male survivors. Family Services and Daya Counselling do offer programs but these do not match the services offered to women.

    Male survivors deserve much better. In London, many male victims and survivors find they get more help from addiction services, the post-traumatic stress disorder program for male survivors at the hospital, A.A. and the Aids Committee of London.

    Nicole Pietsch uses statistics to justify the lack of services to men, but most male survivors do not report their abuse since society does not support victims well and male victims even less. Less than 5% of male victims report the crime against them.

    I do agree with Mike Lew, as Pietsch points out, that male survivors must thank "the feminists that continue to resist and contradict the forces that seek to deny the realities of abuse, sweep them under the rug or minimize their effects." Mike Lew does not state that programs and services should be initiated by feminists and by precursors of feminine theory. He does not state male programs must follow feminine or feminist theory. He does state male survivors must find their voice and speak loudly.

    Many male survivors would welcome real partnerships with female survivors. What is proposed is an ugly appendage to women's services. This is not a step in evolution of service provision but a denial of the reality of male survivors.

    What male victims and survivors want is parity in services compared to those available to female victims and survivors. The services and programs should be administered by men and be male-centered. Feminist and feminine theories do not work for males.
    I'm so glad my local paper has started printing this stuff though. I emailed the authors and thanked them for their courage in fighting the lace curtain. Seems like it is starting to tear

  2. #2
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    Re: Finally ONT budgets to help male sexual assault survivors! but guess who's unhapp

    Excellent find! Thank you for highlighting the feminist money-grabbing fingers at it's finest.
    The most offensive thing you can do to a feminist is treat her with FULL equality.
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  3. #3
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    Re: Finally ONT budgets to help male sexual assault survivors! but guess who's unhapp

    As a support counsellor from the UK, this rings so many bells about what happened here back in the late 80's

    Female support groups would not even listen to what I was trying to say and some even hung up the phone when I spoke, yet when funding was mentioned much later, they all said they worked with male survivors, when they clearly did not!

    Counselling male survivors, is very different to female issues, and that should be reflected by the services they get, and should be led by male survivors, already into recovery or failing that, a male counsellor who is capable of handling the demands of working and supporting male survivors

    Steve
    AMSOSA

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    Re: Finally ONT budgets to help male sexual assault survivors! but guess who's unhapp

    After decades of denial and ignoring the plight of men, these spiteful feminists suddenly change their tune when money is involved. They're opportunistic ghouls who've no genuine interest in men, only to circumvent the real issues and greedily drain off the money for themselves.

    Allowing ideology to influence or dictate any aspect of these prospective programs will unquestionably impede a positive opportunity to redirect men who would otherwise be destined for the prison system or worse. Men's experiences are unique to men and therefore the help must only be administered by other men.
    Last edited by Celtic Druid; 11th-October-2010 at 04:12 PM.
    The wicked flee when none pursueth. Proverbs 28:1

    'Rise like Lions after slumber In unvanquishable number - Shake your chains to earth like dew Which in sleep had fallen on you - Ye are many - they are few.'

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    "When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty. "
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  5. #5
    jwr4209's Avatar
    jwr4209 is offline Established Member
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    Re: Finally ONT budgets to help male sexual assault survivors! but guess who's unhapp

    UPDATE: This is the email i received back form Mr Belanger. Not surprising is it?

    "Thanks Jon,
    But of course the feminists have come after me. They’re right, I’m wrong and how do you argue?
    joe"

    This struck such a chord with me, i remember feeling like this all the time a few years ago, before i read warren farrell and john gordon, and before i found this forum

    Men need to know there are other men willing to fight the lace curtain
    Last edited by jwr4209; 11th-October-2010 at 10:17 PM.

  6. #6
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    Re: Finally ONT budgets to help male sexual assault survivors! but guess who's unhapp

    I'm glad that men are finally getting some justice.

    Men need help too and can't wait around for feminists to give them mercy.

    Hopefully this will spread more awareness and that other countries will follow suit.

  7. #7
    jwr4209's Avatar
    jwr4209 is offline Established Member
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    Re: Finally ONT budgets to help male sexual assault survivors! but guess who's unhapp

    Quote Quote from Steve View Post
    As a support counsellor from the UK, this rings so many bells about what happened here back in the late 80's

    Female support groups would not even listen to what I was trying to say and some even hung up the phone when I spoke, yet when funding was mentioned much later, they all said they worked with male survivors, when they clearly did not!

    Counselling male survivors, is very different to female issues, and that should be reflected by the services they get, and should be led by male survivors, already into recovery or failing that, a male counsellor who is capable of handling the demands of working and supporting male survivors

    Steve
    AMSOSA
    This may be a helpful precedent for the Ontario government to study!

  8. #8
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    Re: Finally ONT budgets to help male sexual assault survivors! but guess who's unhapp

    I am interested to hear any feed back on this subject

    johnswales2009@live.com

  9. #9
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    Re: Finally ONT budgets to help male sexual assault survivors! but guess who's unhapp

    Quote Quote from Unregistered View Post
    I am interested to hear any feed back on this subject

    johnswales2009@live.com
    So keep reading this thread... supplying your email only opens you to spam. It doesn't cause me to think "Oooh, I'll email that guy and let him know there's one single update since he last posted." yanno?

    Members can subscribe to threads... it means when the thread is updated (replied to), the site sends them an email informing them of the update.
    The most offensive thing you can do to a feminist is treat her with FULL equality.
    --Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.--


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