This is truly difficult to believe. I mean, I know it happens, and frequently, and Oregon is a bleeding-heart-liberal leftist nirvana. But you have got to be kidding me.

What the hell is wrong with a slap on the ass? Seems to me that's a really good indication the boys think you're cute. Oh, but that's right. We're exactly the same as boys, so it isn't ok to be attracted. Wait a minute, that doesn't make sense.

On top of that, McMinnville is a small town set in the middle of farms. These are, for the most part, healthy, hard-working kids who spend a lot of time outdoors seeing the way life actually works.

Damn. It's as bad as the fact that I can't send my daughter to school with some Tylenol for her headaches. And what the hell? A fingernail clipper is a weapon?

We live in an insane asylum.