"Pat Wilson, spokesman of advisory body the Human Genetics Commission, said: "We have serious concerns about 'over the counter' genetic tests of this kind. DNA 'theft' is a criminal offence and companies testing samples they have received through the post may not be able to establish if they have been freely given."

Well, well, well. So DNA theft is a criminal offence, is it? So does that mean women who steal men's sperm are criminals? And who ever asks whether the sperm has been "freely given"?

And what about paternity fraud, which is the theft of a man's name, labour, money, goodwill and genetic future for all time?